One has been attempting to master the Aluminum Chef's formula for a perfect steak. No great success yet, having not adequately determined the variables of quantities - and having buried the dining table in blueprints.
Rest assured, the secrets of the Perfect Steak, and the Most Evil Sandwich in the World will be MINE! One found a German Delicatessen, and it's in driving distance. One will be visiting them soon, to ... acquire their secrets.
-Lord Malignance
One feels your struggles, it can be hard getting kinky in the kitchen in a fun way, not a sexual one of course. It can be quite fun to test out new things when using flames and heavy metal objects. Hey at worst you can practice making smoke bombs on the stove. Of course for recreational use, not for any illegal acts.
ReplyDeleteMy entire apartment reeks of sockeye salmon and gentlemen, it is GLORIOUS.
ReplyDeleteStrawberries and creamed honey for dessert and I'm a very happy isotope.
Beryllium,
ReplyDeleteWhat is this "Creamed Honey" you speak of? This sounds delicious! One has enjoyed Strawberries and Creme -they seem to compliment each other, but honey? Intriguing...
You coastal dwellers and your fresh seafood.
-Lord Malignance
It's really just regular honey that's been allowed to crystalize into very tiny velvety crystals instead of your typical big gritty bits.
ReplyDeleteSometime this summer, I must make rose butter with honey. Butter plus rosewater (you just steep rose petals in water like you would tea) plus honey = OH GOD I'M DYING OF DELICIOUSNESS.
A real treat since neither honeybees nor cows nor roses exist when I come from. The roses fell victim to fungicide-resistant root rot, the cows were made obselete by GM soybeans and lab-grown meat (some are still kept in zoos), and the bees went back to their home planet.
You'd be surprised how popular honeypot ants are, though... who ironically harvest aphid poop, and apparently aphids plague roses.
It's VERY odd to see how biology fit together in this time.
It seems that even being an ape more highly evolved than mere humans alone is still not enough for me to grasp the ability to do these things I keep hearing people referring to as "cooking". Save for glorious radioactive food preparation weapons known as 'microwaves', kitchens confuse, confound and have proving me to be nothing short of dangerous around anything vaguely resembling a stove.
ReplyDeleteStill, best of luck evil sir!
The Overlord stocked up on ramen today....She has the ability but lacks the motivation....perhaps if I had a radio-active sticker in My kitchen?
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I can make a pretty damn good bowl of ramen.
Me thinks I shall do something truly heroic this weekend and prepare a true cajun meal...nothing quite like Jambalaya...The Crusader does know his way around the kitchen quite well even when dieting...and victory from the cross-cave in the loss of 28 pounds in the last 12 weeks deserves a reward...now to locate some shrimp and get that cajun cuisine on the menu asap...and dat gonn be much better dan good MMM MMM
ReplyDelete