ArchNemesis Marketplace...

Greetings and Lamentations, I AM Lord Malignance, and you WILL crouch before me NOW!

(Villains excepted, of course)

Having recently crushed Ones own ArchNemesis (no doubt causing him to quit the RLSH), an opportunity to get back to work has appeared. Seeing such a quality Villain as Oneself potentially on the market for a new ArchNemesis, a number of these Super Awesome Buddies have been sending emails, begging for Ones arching talents. A few of the superheroes that were eliminated for consideration;

The Indefatigable Lawn Master,

The Never Designated Spiderwino,
Power Pooh - He loves Crime Patrol, like he loves sweet, sweet, Honey,

Thunderspawn the Destroyer - the NeoCon superhero,

The Bounding Fury of Justice, Lepus,

and Geist;

And on the small chance that Comrade Cocoa would upgrade from his ArchNemesis Minuteman;

The League of Super Awesome Buddy Cats;

Still no heroes have met either of our high standards.

-Lord Malignance

Unrequited Devotion to the Baroness...

The Ballad of G.I. Joe from Olivia Wilde

Of Henchmen and Villains...

Greetings,

Reposted Guidelines, a selective History, and an Advisement;

One here posts guidlines One attempts to adhere to, and would like to see others adhere to;

"Villain Standards

1) The Law: We hold ourselves to a high standard. We will not break laws, bring harm to others or incite others to do so.

2) Respect: Villains will show respect to each other, and expect that same respect in turn.

3) Comportment and Courtesy: Villains are not crude brawlers. We are cultured, educated, talented, and refined. We will strive to maintain our composure, and demonstrate courtesy to any villain, as we would expect the same in fashion returned to us.

4) Resolve: By the power of your will, to bend the world to your vision.

5) Industry: Strive to find, seek to break, the Superhero, that they may become stronger for the challenge.

6) Individuality and Style: Villains have a fine tradition to call upon. However, we are all free to make of ourselves what we will. Do not copy the work of others. Be the Villain you were meant to be.

7) Speak only for yourself, and for no others, unless you have been designated to do so. What you create is yours, what you share belongs to all.

8) Minions, Henchmen, and your Lair: You are responsible to discipline those who work for you. Don't let a bad apple bring down the greater work your organization does.

9) Humor: Keep in mind the Big Picture. If you aren't having fun, or making others miserable, it may be time to take a step back. When that happens, your peers, or even your sworn adversaries can assist you in understanding.

10) Listen to your colleagues, and learn from them: We grow by amassing knowledge.

11) Professionalism: Villains will not seek to exploit the personal names and information of others. This activity while attractive, leads inevitably to stalking, harassment, and fear mongering. We shall be more than this.

12) Trust: Your secrets are your own. Choose carefully who you share them with, and know that you are responsible for what is known."

These may be found on Ones website.

A History lesson;
Once long ago, there was a Villain who wished to demonstrate their skill with technology, and detective work, and posted information about one Villain to demonstrate that they knew something about that other Villain. From that event came guidelines 11 and 12 above. That Villain was given a warning, as a Villain is given but one (a Henchman is given none). Later, during the Zeta Tires issue* the Potentate, Leader of ROACH, gave a command to his members, and this particular Villain either through ignorance or cheekiness, defied his command, and posted unwisely. That was to have been his second mistake, and he has now been gone from Villainy for some time. (One doesn't believe he is unwelcome for all time, but that his punishment will be long.)

Villains collaborate. We do, and it is quite enjoyable. Villains also rule. You cannot rule without enforcing your will. If someone demonstrates disrespect, they must be punished harshly, quickly, and every time, with no exceptions. If you neglect to attend to this, you allow dissention to fester and grow, and doubts to be sown.

No, better to be harsh and wrong, then to be seen as weak.

And now an Advisement;

Villains;
One expects more from us all. Certain activities are deemed unworthy of Villainy and are ever the labors and efforts of Henchmen. If you participate in these activities in Ones knowing, you will be treated as Henchmen. You will be denied the Company of Villains, and you will experience the Glass Ceiling which keeps Henchmen down. Observe Ghost of Nixon: His future is Ones to control. He may not rise above his station until he receives Ones Imprimatur. He could change his name and appear elsewhere, or return to Dr. Steel, but he would know that he had not earned Ones favor, and this favor has value.

One does not control Villains outside of ROACH, but One does control who One shares influence with. Your considered positions to oppose my will in this matter are weak, and your non compliance is ill advised. Half of Villainy are ROACH members where rules are present to control behavior, and are enforced. All Villains should be grooming their reputations through worthy Evil activities to one day accept membership in ROACH if offered. (One does not seek that opportunity at this time, as One can serve purposes outside of ROACH that are valuable to Ones own objectives.) Of the remaining half of Villainy not associated with ROACH, half of these do not seek conflicts with heroes or others, and of that remaining quarter there remains only a small minority, Onself included.

You may not assume that One is unaware of any number of subtle schemes going on, that because Ones time is spent at Evil work, that One does not also have proxies and minions who bring information to my attention, seeking Ones malevolent favor for themselves. If One does not speak of particular secret machinations, it does not not necessarily follow that One does not have knowledge of, or the exercise of influence in, these for Ones own purposes. If information were to come to Ones attention from reliable sources, that a Villain has been demonstrating disrespect to Ones will, then this Villain will come to know Ones displeasure.

If there were any Villains who might possibly be wandering anywhere near any activities that might potentially experience Ones displeasure, you may consider this your first warning. You will not receive a second. Allow some time to pass to allow this Mark to be lifted from you, reconsider your long term goals, and consider the advantages One brings to our shared objectives, and how valuable these qualities are to your needs.

*Zeta Tires. Despite a picture downloaded from the Internet was present to frame ROACH, no actual evidence linking a crime to ROACH was ever found. More than likely, since his one time Partner, Agent Null, was a self confessed Heroin abuser, and since heroin cannot be found freely or purchased at market, it remains far more likely the actual culprits were aquaintences or associates of Agent Null. Criminals who could react in a criminal manner if you, for example, said something like "Hey! You can't sell/use/buy/transport heroin in my neighborhood! Get out of here you criminals!". While Zetaman was quick to blame Villainy, he has yet to apologize for his improperly directed accusations. One hopes that Agent Null, former Partner of the superhero Zetaman, has given up his superhero criminal activities, and has received the help he needed/needs.

-Lord Malignance

White Skull:
As a former and returning member of ROACH, your fate and forgiveness are the Potentate's to bestow. For Oneself, One will only say that One is disappointed.

Krampus Bingo Advisement

Note to all people playing with Form #12 for Krampus Bingo (see below);

Because of the sheer overwhelming volume of craziness from Krampus, this Krampus Bingo form is being disallowed for his most recent show/post.

The establishment apologizes for this inconvenience.
-Lord Malignance

What happens when Real Life Superheroes Assualt Citizens...

Declaration of Intent...

Greetings and Lamentations,

In this time after the senseless murders in Arizona, an opportunity is present to clarify (again for some) the guidelines that Villains attempt to adhere to;

1) Villians do not practice violence against any, incite violence against any, and tolerate violence against any. This is a firm commitment from Villains, and oneself. One will not abide this behavior, and knows that no other Villains will either. If you see One posting and associating with any Villains, friending any Villains, or commenting and contributing on the works of any Villain, you may be assured that this Villain also respects and adheres to these same precepts. Villains do not carry weapons to harm others. Heroes do.

2) Villains are not random trolls, and though trolling IS done from time to time, it is always with an intent, and never because we define our existence in this way.

3) Some of what Villainy is about is parody and can be seen in fanciful claims involving outlandish statements. A discerning individual can determine what is truth, and what is parody by applying simple common sense. Are heroes dangerous? Yes, yes they are. Are time travellers walking amongst us even now? Who can say? - One leaves that to your ability to discern truth.

4) If Villainy thought for a moment, that calling the superhero Superhero a bald mid-life crisis with a gun fetish, would trigger some rampage of violence, we would not engage in this practice. Fortunately, most heroes despise Villainy, but are somewhat good natured (as they should be) and let it slide. A good trolling should have some possible truth, some entertainment value, and not merely be false claims, unfounded rumors, and childish name calling. It is an Art to achieve, and attempting for this threshold is ever challenging.

5) Villainy is responsive to our community, those weaklings the heroes, and people who are interested or wander by. If we have misspoken and it is brought to our attention with information to correct what we have said, we will attempt to make amends. This may involve edits, retractions, clarifications, arguments, scorn, and/or apologies. We're not all there yet, but we're striving for this. This is also true for people posting on our sites: If someone posts something damaging to someone or inciteful to violence or harm, we will clear this, chastise the writer, block (where possible and as necessary), and shame the mutant poster for their stupidity. We're Villains - expect no mercy.

6) Villainy routinely crushes beneath our ruthless heel, many heroes. That's not to say all heroes have been defeated. Some heroes (and there are so very few) have won their victories and our respect by holding to their heroic ideals. Most heroes fail and are humiliated as their many significant flaws are revealed and made public. These few undefeated heroes however, have never wavered from their course towards higher calling, doubted the need for simple human decency free from Comic Book fantasies involving solving crimes or fighting criminals, and never failed to exemplify their intention to lead by example. Because they are, or try to be, the very best heroes they can be, Villainy can not defeat them, and they have earned the respect shown them. One does not associate with many heroes, but the few One respects, One does.

7) Villainy does actually seek the retirement of all So Called Real Life Superheroes. Peacefully, and through the realization that what they are doing is wrong, and a harm to society. Not all Villains consider this a priority or even a worthy purpose, while others do. You'll know the Villains that do, by their frequent posts on this, and their considered opinions, and advocations for heroes to stop (One points out that One does seek this eventuality). Villainy has many desires and intentions, and most are welcomed and respected.

8) Villains have a sense of drama and employ language with flourish. If you see a Villain post an intent to "Destroy Heroes" or somesuch, this is merely the desire to see them peacefully self retire. Often times, provacative language is used to elicit a desired result, and the accomplishment of that result is the intent, and not the statement itself. Hint: Heroes read waaay too many comic books, and are self programmed to respond to particular stimulus in predictable ways.

9) Villains can, will, and have walked away from their Villainy. We put our personal lives first, and the care and attention to the needs of our loved ones and our personal lives. If a Villain must leave Villainy for the best needs of their personal lives or the needs of family, or for the greater good of Villainy, then they should, and their decision will be respected.

10) Villains lie, and are untrustworthy. It's absolutely true (unless this is a lie) as you can't enjoy the benefits of Villainy without using the tools present in this particular skillset. Heroes tell you they don't lie, and sometimes they do. Villains make no such claims, and enjoy the opportunity when it arises. We are skilled liars though, so please understand that the best lies are deliciously Evil. A skillfully assembled web of lies if you will, is a beauty to behold unto itself.

We all feel a sense of pain and loss with the tragedy in Arizona, and realize that words can incite deranged individuals to take their meanings too far. From time to time, it helps to clarify purpose and bring down the fear and paranoia.

-Lord Malignance

Superhero as metaphor for Mental Illness