Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Anachronism

Greetings,


One is investigating what One suspects is Ninja activity around My Colorado Holdfast, and while driving from place to place, has been listening to the Captain America: The First Avenger [Soundtrack] by Alan Silvestri. Mostly the music works best in the context of the movie, but there are two standouts in One's humble opinion. 


The Captain America theme, as you would suppose. It is stirring yet short, hearkens to the time and place with a military cadence, and nicely uses appropriate coronet and snare drums. It reflects and appears inspired by "Fanfare for the Common Man" by Aaron Copland. At least to me. Both seem to speak to a quality of individuality, a willingness to struggle against adversity and remain noble in the face of hardship. 


The Second, and to my own sensibilities the more fun, and yet nostalgic is the "Star Spangled Man" which is beautiful yet reflective of a period when America was in dark times, and we all pulled together to fight a common enemy. And that's gloss, because there really was terrible social injustice at the time, but we look back with rose colored glasses and choose to see things perhaps better than they were. The music is patriotic in that beautiful non political correct way we can remember and enjoy, yet anachronistic enough to have cleaned up some of the racial slurs that were prevalent whenever nationalism goes into overdrive. The Words and a youtube Grab are included below courtesy of the Wordpress blog "Pagelady"; 


The Star Spangled Man With A Plan lyrics

“The Star Spangled Man With A Plan” is the USO song featured in the new Captain America movie.  I can’t be the only one wanting to know what the lyrics are, and, maddeningly, they are nowhere to be found via google.  Here’s my attempt to decipher them.  I’m including the youtube video that I’ve watched multiple times in the process.  Lines in (parenthesis) mean they are sung at the same time as the lines above them, lines in [brackets] or question marks in brackets means either I’m not sure or have no idea what they’re saying.  If you figure out any of the lines I can’t hear, let me know in the comments.*

Who’s strong and brave, here to save the American Way?
Who vows to fight like a man for what’s right night and day?
Who will campaign door-to-door for America,
Carry the flag shore to shore for America,
From Hoboken to Spokane,
The Star Spangled Man with a Plan!
We can’t ignore there’s a threat and a war we must win,
Who’ll hang a noose on the goose-stepping goons from Berlin?
Who will indeed lead the call for America,
Who’ll rise or fall,  give his all for America,
Who’s here to prove that we can?
The Star Spangled Man with a Plan!
.
Stalwart and steady and true,
(see how this guy can shoot, we tell ya, there’s no substitute!)
Forceful and ready to defend the
Red, White, and Blue!
Who’ll give the Axis the sack, and is smart as a fox?
(far as an eagle will soar)
Who’s making Adolph afraid to step out of his box?
(He knows what we’re fighting for!)
Who [waked the giant that napped in] America?
We know it’s no-one but Captain America,
Who’ll finish what they began?
Who’ll kick the Krauts to Japan?
The Star Spangled Man with a Plan!
(Who’s strong and brave, here to save the American way?!)
.
.
.
*(I’ve updated with suggestions from the comments.  This is fun, you guys!)


Back to Ninja Investigations, Video Responses, Magnus Obsidian Time Travel Challenge, and hiding from the oppressive Summer

If you haven't taken a look at the Magnus Obsidian Challenge, please do. It's fun for Time Travelers and those who aren't. The deadline is September 15th, and all you need is the Internet, some Imagination, a sense of Fun, and a few minutes time. 

-Lord Malignance

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Cracked: "The 8 Saddest Real World Superheroes" & Ninja Problems...


The 8 Saddest Real World Superheroes -- powered by Cracked.com


Shameless Screen Grab courtesy of Cracked, with thanks to Malvado for this find. 


Whenever anyone takes an honest look at so called real life superheroes, the natural response is laughter. (One escaped a bullet there too). 




STATUS NOTE: 
Ninjas are acting up around the Colorado Holdfast, why One will never it seems, know. This may mean some time away from blogging as One finds out what their Demands/Crazy Ninja Games are this time. One will remind any 'forgetful' Ninjas in My Colorado Holdfast, that One holds a signed and valid contract between the Ninja Clans and Oneself. You act in peril of MY wrath, and the shame of your House and the dicipline of your Daimyo. 


-Lord Malignance


Colorado Ninjas: Your number 1 Choice for Domestic Ninja needs. Accept No Substitutes. 

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Weird Colorado Laws

Weird Colorado

    Weird Colorado Laws
  • One may not mutilate a rock in a state park.
  • Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.
  • It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3%.
  • No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days.
  • It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.
  • Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses.
  • In Alamosa - Throwing missles at cars is illegal.
  • In Alamosa - Keeping a house where unmarried persons are allowed to have sex is prohibited.
  • In Alamosa - To own a dog over three months of age, one must obtain a license.
  • In Alamosa - Persons may not urinate in public.
  • In Arvada - Establishments which sell alcohol must have enough lighting to read text inside them.
  • In Aspen - Catapults may not be fired at buildings.
  • In Boulder - It is legal to challenge a police officer, but only until he or she asks you to stop.
  • In Boulder - It is illegal to permit ones llama to graze on city property.
  • In Boulder - Boulders may not be rolled on city property.
  • In Boulder - Couches may not be placed on outside porches.
  • In Colorado Springs - It is permissable to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.
  • In Cripple Creek - It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.
  • In Denver - The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park.
  • In Denver - It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.
  • In Denver - You may not drive a black car on Sundays.
  • In Denver - It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver, Colorado.
  • In Durango - It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on one's sex.
  • In Logan County - It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
  • In Louisville - Residents may not own chickens, but may own up to three turkeys.
  • In Pueblo - It is illegal to let a dandelion grow within the city limits.
  • In Sterling - Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.
  • In Vail - It is illegal to crash into obstacles on a ski slope.
  • In Vail - No one may keep junk close to someone else.


Shameless Screen Grab courtesy of Weird Facts


Colorado has a  long and varied history of Evil. Because this has always been the case, and always WILL be the case, you can see various laws that have been passed throughout its history meant to moderate the inclinations of Villains. 


There will always be a Colorado Holdfast, it will always be Evil, and it will Always be ruled by Lord Malignance. 


Or the Ninja Clans - they're tenacious. 

SciTech Saturdays: Robots that Evolve - Building a Better Malignobot

Science Not Fiction

Robots That Evolve Like Animals Are Tough and Smart—Like Animals


People who work in robotics prefer not to highlight a reality of our work: robots are not very reliable. They break, all the time. This applies to all research robots, which typically flake out just as you’re giving an important demo to a funding agency or someone you’re trying to impress. My fish robot is back in the shop, again, after a few of its very rigid and very thin fin rays broke. Industrial robots, such as those you see on car assembly lines, can only do better by operating in extremely predictable, structured environments, doing the same thing over and over again. Home robots? If you buy a Roomba, be prepared to adjust your floor plan so that it doesn’t get stuck.

What’s going on? The world is constantly throwing curveballs at robots that weren’t anticipated by the designers. In a novel approach to this problem, Josh Bongard has recently shown how we can use the principles of evolution to make a robot’s “nervous system”—I’ll call it the robot’s controller—robust against many kinds of change. This study was done using large amounts of computer simulation time (it would have taken 50–100 years on a single computer), running a program that can simulate the effects of real-world physics on robots.

What he showed is that if we force a robot’s controller to work across widely varying robot body shapes, the robot can learn faster, and be more resistant to knocks that might leave your home robot a smoking pile of motors and silicon. It’s a remarkable result, one that offers a compelling illustration of why intelligence, in the broad sense of adaptively coping with the world, is about more than just what’s above your shoulders. How did the study show it?

Each (simulated) robot starts with a very basic body plan (like a snake), a controller (consisting of a neural network that is randomly connected with random strengths), and a sensor for light. Additional sensors report the position of body segments, the orientation of the body, and ground contact sensors for limbs, if the body plan has them. The task is to bring the body over to the light source, 20 meters away.

A bunch of these robots are simulated, and those that do poorly are eliminated, a kind of in-computo natural selection. The eliminated robots are replaced with versions of the ones that succeeded, after random tweaks (“mutations”) to these better controllers have been made. The process repeats until a robot that can get to the light is found. So far, there’s been no change in the shape of the body.

With the first successful robot-controller combination found (one that gets to the light), the body form changes from snake-like to something like a salamander, with short legs sticking out of the body. (All body shape changes are pre-programmed, rather than evolved.) The evolutionary process to find a successful controller-bot combination repeats, with random changes to the better controllers until, once again, a controller-bot combination is found that is able to claw its way to the light.

Then the short legs sticking out to the side slowly get longer, and rather than sticking out to the side, they progressively become more vertical. With each change in body shape, the evolutionary process to find a controller repeats. Eventually, the sim-bot evolves to something that looks like any four-legged animal.
That was all for round one of evolution. For round two, the best controller from round one was copied into the same starting snake-like body type that round one began with. But now, the change in body forms occurs more rapidly, so that by the time 2/3 of the “lifetime” of the robot is completed, it has reached its final dog-like form. For round three, this all happens within 1/3 of the robot’s lifetime. For round four, the body form starts off as dog-like and stays there.

So there are changes occurring at two different time scales: changes over the “lifetime” of the robot, similar to our own shape changes from fetus to adulthood; and changes that occur over generations, through which development during a lifetime occurs more rapidly. The short time scale is called “ontogenetic” and the long scale (between the different rounds) is “phylogenetic.”

The breakthrough of the work is that it found that having these variations in body shape occur over ontogenetic and phylogenetic time scales resulted in finding a controller that got the body over to the light much faster than if no such changes in body shape occurred. For example, when the system began with the final body type, the dog-like shape, it took much longer to evolve a solution than when the body shapes progressed from snake-like to salamander to dog-like. Not only was a controller evolved more rapidly, but the final solution was much more robust to being pushed and nudged.

The complexity of the interactions over 100 CPU years of simulated evolution makes the final evolved result difficult to untangle. Nonetheless, there is good evidence that the cause of accelerated learning in the shape-changing robots is that the controllers developed through changing bodies have gone through a set of “training-wheel” body shapes: a robot starting with a four-legged body plan and a simple controller quickly fails—it can’t control the legs well and simply tips over. Starting with something on the ground that slithers, as was the case in these simulations, is less prone to such failures. So not any old sequence of shape changes works: mimicking the sequence seen in evolution garners some of the advantages that presumably made this sequence actually happen in nature, such as higher mechanical stability of more ancient forms.

Less clear is the source of increased robustness—the ability to recover from being nudged and pushed in random ways. Bongard suggests that the increased robustness of controllers that have evolved with changing body shapes is due to those controllers having had to work under a wider range of sensor-motor relationships than the ones that evolved with no change in body shape. For example, any controller that’s particularly sensitive to a certain relationship between, say, a sensor that reports foot position, and one that reports spine position would fail (and thus be eliminated) as those relationships are systematically changed in shifting from salamander-like to dog-like body form and movement. So that means that if I suddenly pushed down the back of a four-legged dog-like robot, so that its legs would splay out and it would be forced to move more like a salamander, the winners of the evolutionary competition would still be able to work because the controllers had worked in salamander-like bodies as well as in dog-like bodies.

In support of this idea, the early controllers, that were purely based on moving the body axis (“spine”), appear to be still embedded in the more advanced controllers; so if something happens to the body (say, one leg gets knocked), the robot can revert to more basic spine-based motion patterns that don’t require precise limb control. Bongard observed that the controllers evolved through changing body shape exhibited more dependence on spinal movement, using the legs more for balance, than those evolved without changing body shape. (It would be interesting to try his approach with simulated aquatic robots, which can be neutrally buoyant like many aquatic animals are, and thus don’t have the “tipping over” problem that Bongard’s simulated terrestrial robots had).

To be fair to existing robots, even with a controller that worked under every conceivable body shape and environmental condition, they would still break all the time. This is because the materials we make them out of are not self-healing, in contrast to the biomaterials of animals. Animals are also constantly breaking (at least on a micro level), and the body constantly repairs this. Bones subjected to higher loads, like the racket arm of a tennis player, get measurably thicker. Not only is the body self-repairing, recent innovative computer simulations of real neurons that generate basic rhythms like walking and chewing have shown that the neurons keep generating the rhythm despite big variations in the functioning and connections of these neurons. These functions are so important to continued existence—the body’s version of too big to fail—that embedded within them are solutions to just about everything the world can throw at them.

This new work provides the fascinating and useful result that fashioning controllers that work through a sequence of body shapes mimicking those seen in evolution accelerates the learning of new movement tasks and increases robustness to all the hard knocks that life inevitably delivers. It suggests that without the sequence of body shapes that evolution and development bring about, we might have nervous systems that are much too finely tuned to our adult upright bipedal form. Instead of crawling to help after we twist our ankle in the woods, we’d be left with nothing but howling for help.



Shameless Screen Grab courtesy of Discover Magazine


The sweeping scope of the Malignobots - merciless machine servitors of my cruel will, who will flood down from the Mountain Lair across all the world and enslave humanity to my pitiless rule is nothing new. But the question of quality has always been vexing:

They Don't Work***.

Not at all. Never have, in any substantive way. 

But that's My Joy of being a Villain. Creation. Innovation. Discovery. 

So the work continues. The latest areas of interest include the R.O.S. (Robot Operating System). It's waaaay back in the back of the research work flow at present. But if Wraith, Obsidian, and Overlord keep blowing up my Malignobots, One will move the work forward in the queue. 

-Lord Malignance
Scientist, Roboticist, MetaVillain,  



*** As far as you know.... 

SciTech Saturdays: Neural Augmentation

Is The Era of Neuroprosthetic Augmentation Really Just 20 Years Away?

Whenever I hear that some awesome technology is “twenty years away” my eyebrow inadvertently raises with suspicion. Cold fusion, male birth control, flying cars, and the cure for most diseases are all twenty years away. Why? Because that’s the distance at which it’s genuinely impossible to extrapolate scientific advancement. So, when Will Rosellini, the CEO and President of MicroTransponder and consultant to the team developing Deus Ex: Human Revolution, told me that neuroprosthetic augmentation was about twenty years away, I was skeptical, but intrigued.

Guessing at which technologies will come to fruition requires the ability to determine how many intermediate technologies can reasonably be attained in a given amount of time. From there, one can extrapolate and make educated suppositions about when one could reasonably expect something like a life-like prosthetic arm would be possible.

Rosellini explained his process with DX:HR:
My job at Microtransponder in large part is writing near-term science fiction.  I do this by combining all the failure modes from science, business, law etc…and then designing a research strategy to mitigate these risks and get new technologies into patients.  With Deus Ex, I was given the task of explaining in a rigorous all of the player abilities in the game.  To do this, I extrapolated where technologies would be moving in the next 20 years (to 2027, the start of the game).  Most implantable neuroprosthetics take 10 years to get to market, so essentially I was forced to make 1 extra jump to foreseeable technologies.
So what are the background technologies that support this research? Are there any scary government projects with weird code names like MK-ULTRA and project ARTICHOKE that may give us some insight into where neuro-implants might be heading? You bet there are. Read on to learn about just how soon we can hope for retinal displays, neuro-integrated prosthetics, and mind-computer interfaces.

Q: Will, please tell me a little about your current experience, expertise, and the research you’ve been doing.
A: I have six advanced degrees spanning business, law, and science. Before I began these academic pursuits, I was a professional baseball pitcher in the Arizona Diamondbacks system.   After retiring from baseball, I became fascinated with shrinking electronic devices to integrate into the nervous system and help patients with damaged nervous systems. To excel in this field of translational neurotechnology, I obtained the relevant business, accounting, and legal background to develop technology and raise capital for preclinical and clinical studies. While pursuing these deal-making skills, I sought the ability to evaluate the technical feasibility of neuroprosthetic systems. In particular, my degrees are an MBA, MS of Accounting, a JD, a Master’s of Computational Biology, a Master’s of Neuroscience, and a Master’s of Regulatory Science. I am in the final phases of a PhD in Neuroscience. My PhD work is focused on evaluating the safety and efficacy of a novel form of neurostimulation, called voltage-controlled capacitive discharge (VCCD), invented by Dr. Larry Cauller.

My company, Microtransponder, Inc. has been researching the therapeutic benefits of pairing Vagus Nerve Stimulation (VNS) with a variety of rehabilitation tasks to treat several neurological disorders such as tinnitus, post stroke motor rehabilitation, phantom limb pain (PLP), and post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).  We have developed a method to generate long lasting and spatially restricted changes to neural circuits using paired VNS.  As of July 2011, MicroTransponder has implanted 5 patients in a proof of concept Tinnitus clinical trial in Belgium and the results have been encouraging and will be discussed later in this document.  We have received several NIH grants for the animal research based on the robust nature of the scientific data.  Our researcher Dr. Engineer recently published a paper in Nature, regarding the paired VNS therapy and its ability to reverse the tinnitus precept in rats (Engineer et al., 2011).  Our VNS pairing method was reviewed in the April 2011 issue of The New England Journal of Medicine regarding the potential of our paired VNS therapy to treat a variety of neurological disorders.  Our preclinical and clinical studies suggest that  targeted plasticity using paired VNS therapy would be useful in many neurological disorders such as stoke, tinnitus and phantom limb pain in which plasticity is maladaptive.

Q: How did that impact your work on Deus Ex: Human Revolution?
A: I contacted the CEO of Eidos back in 2008 and explained that I was a big fan of the game and wanted to contribute however I could.  My job at Microtransponder in large part is writing near-term science fiction.  I do this by combining all the failure modes from science, business, law etc…and then designing a research strategy to mitigate these risks and get new technologies into patients.  With Deus Ex, I was given the task of explaining in a rigorous all of the player abilities in the game.  To do this, I extrapolated where technologies would be moving in the next 20 years (to 2027, the start of the game).  Most implantable neuroprosthetics take 10 years to get to market, so essentially I was forced to make 1 extra jump to foreseeable technologies.


Q: There are several technologies in the game that rely on direct connections to a person’s nervous system. If you were to make a conservative estimate, how many years away is technology like retinal displays, neuro-integrated prosthetics, and mind-computer interfaces?
A: In the 1870s, Richard Caton, a British physiologist, began a series of experiments intended to measure the electrical output of the brains of living animals. He surgically exposed the brains of rabbits, dogs, and monkeys, and then used wires to connect their brains to an instrument that measured current. “The electrical currents of the gray matter appear to have a relation to its function,” he wrote in 1875, noting that different actions — chewing, blinking, or just looking at food — were each accompanied by electrical activity. This was the first evidence that the brain’s functions could be tapped into directly, without having to be expressed in sounds, gestures, or any of the other usual ways.

Since then we have seen the wide scale adoption of cardiac pacemaker (electricity into the heart), cochlear implants (electricity into the cochlea), spinal cord stimulators (electricity into the spinal cord), deep brain stimulation and a host of other nerves are targets for activation using a battery, wire and electrode.
In a direct fashion to the game, DOD research arm, DARPA has been working on direct peripheral and cortical neural interfaces for mechanical augmentations since 2003 in the DARPA Revolutionizing Prosthetics program.

Q: The writers of Deus Ex: Human Revolution are trying to tell a story, so sticking to science may have been difficult in places. Where do you feel you took the most creative license?
A: I think there was a nice balance between science and science fiction.  We took some license on invisibility cloaks and the anti-gravity implementations.  However, I still spent some researching this and there is some evidence that this field will be viable at some point in our lifetime.
http://www.nsf.gov/discoveries/disc_summ.jsp?cntn_id=118723&org=ENG



Q: There is a good chance that augmentations will be created by large corporations, how do you think that will impact the development of useful medical prosthetics and artificial organs?
A: This is already the case, with over 1M “augmentations” in place.  Our Vice-President Dick Cheney was a cyborg (he had a cardiac neurostimulation device).  More interesting will be the propensity to abuse the technology, which is the case with any advanced technology.  Checkout this article detailing the underground world of neuroenhancing drugs: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2009/04/27/090427fa_fact_talbot
The argument for implantable neuroprosthesis having the potential for abuse is not ripe yet.  This is in part due to the state of the technology.  As of now, no implantable is able to return all function back to the diseased nervous system.   The government has the greatest potential to abuse the technology.  It is now widely known that fear memories can be erased with animals.  Some of that work has been done in our lab for the treatment of PTSD in soldiers (we did this in rats).

However, Project MK-ULTRA or MKULTRA is a government project that started in 1948 and studies mind control through chemical interrogation and neurostimulation.  The project was first run by Sidney Gottlieb, Frank Olson and William Sargant. Although MK-ULTRA is most recognized with the LSD testing in the 1950′s and 1960′s, they have been involved with many other experiments in mind control related testing.  MK-ULTRA has tested interrogation through fear of deadly animals and Subproject 54, which through “perfect concussion” tried to erase the memories of U.S. submarine crew.  Some of the most secret projects in U.S. history all took place under MK-ULTRA, such as Projects Paperclip, Chatter, Bluebird and Artichoke.  The usage of electric shock to the brain for the creation of amnesia with hypnosis was discussed by an ARTICHOKE document dated 3 December 1951: “[Deleted] is reported to be an authority on electric shock. He is a psychiatrist of considerable note. [Deleted] explained that electric shock might be of considerable interest to the ‘Artichoke’ type of work. He stated that the standard electric-shock machine (Reiter) could be used. He stated that using this machine with convulsive treatment, he could guarantee amnesia for certain periods of time, and particularly he could guarantee amnesia for any knowledge of use of the convulsive shock. He stated that the lower setting of the machine produced a different type of shock. When this lower current type of shock was applied without convulsion, it had the effect of making a man talk. He said that this type of shock produced in the individual excruciating pain.  He stated that there would be no question that the individual would bequite willing to give information if threatened with the use of this machine. It was [Deleted]‘s opinion that an individual could gradually be reduced through the use of electro-shock treatment to the vegetable level”(P. 44).

Q: What augmentation do you think has the most potential to benefit humanity?
A: I believe our targeted plasticity using vagus nerve stimulation might be the single greatest innovation to benefit patients coming out of the labs in the next 10 years.  The idea that we can harness the brain’s natural plasticity and redirect to reverse disease states is a big idea that can really help patients.

Follow Kyle on his personal blog, Pop Bioethics, and on facebook and twitter.


Shameless Screen Grab courtesy of Discover Magazine

"The Mind is the Greatest Weapon to exert your Will upon the world"
-Lord Malignance




Superheroes believe a thousand push ups will change the world. that by the supplication of their minds to their bodies they will achieve something - anything. They're wrong, and so, so very limited in their scope and imagination. They lack vision, and understanding of the world, doomed to exist in their comic book fantasies. A Villain though: A single idea. One bright and unique and beautiful thought. 

You doubt? 

Someone had a thought that became Villainy. And he has a volcano for a head. 

And the world changed. 

It became better. Now people who would otherwise gawk at the spectacle on parade that is superheroes, question. Through their answers, they learn, and what they find will be the truth: 

A thousand Hero PR statements, martyr stunts, and glory parades, can be undone by a single misstep by any hero anywhere at anytime. 

And we're watching. 



Create YOUR own Vision for Villainy. How will you change the world? What would you do with a Neural Implant to increase  your ability? 


Rule the Earth and Enslave All Humanity?


Stand in Line.

-Lord Malignance

SciTech Saturdays: SCIENCE! Flakks Ann Coulter with Evolution

Coulter takes this opportunity to remind us that she dedicated a third of her 2006 book Godless to demolishing evolutionary biology. Apparently the scientists who have published over 59,000 papers on the topic of evolution since she published her book didn’t get the memo.


To rectify that situation, Coulter now informs us that “it is a mathematical impossibility, for example, that all 30 to 40 parts of the cell’s flagellum — forget the 200 parts of the cilium! — could all arise at once by random mutation.”


Of course, nobody is saying they evolved all at once by random mutation. Nobody except for Ann Coulter. To see what scientists are actually saying, you can start by reading this review that presents a detailed hypothesis about the incremental evolution of the flagellum and the cilium, based on actual experiments. In a case of wonderful timing, it came out just last month in the Journal of Cell Biology. I’m sure it’s right at the top of Coulter’s reading stack.


Reading Coulter’s new attack on evolution, I got a fond flash of nostalgia. You see, five years ago, I had the mixed pleasure of discovering that I was actually in Godless. Here’s the text of the post I wrote at the time:


raccoon.jpg

I just want to make one thing clear. When Ann Coulter talks about her Giant Raccoon Flatulence Theory, she’s talking about me. Don’t let anyone else tell you that they are a giant flatulent raccoon. They’re all just a bunch of wannabes. For I am the One True Giant Flatulent Raccoon.

Allow me to explain…

Coulter dedicates the last four chapers of her new book Godless to evolution. She claims that it is nothing more than the religion of liberalism (as opposed to the foundation of modern biology, as 92 national scientific academies and dozens of scientific societies attest.)

When I first heard about this bizarre news, I didn’t pay much attention to it. I certainly didn’t sit down to read the book, since I had more pressing matters to attend to, such as reading papers written by actual scientists about actual science. And as early reports on the treatment of evolution in Godless began emerge–documenting copious errors, illogical arguments, and other sorts of intellectual dreadfulness (see, for example, talkreason, Panda’s Thumb, and Pharyngula)–I decided I had made the right choice.

But then a friend told me that I, or at least one of my articles, was in the book. Now the bizarre had become the personal. I had to investigate. And when I did, I discovered that I had inspired the Giant Flatulent Raccoon Theory.

You see, last July my appendix nearly burst. I got to the hospital in time to have it safely removed, and as I recuperated I wondered why I had an appendix in the first place. After all, it had nearly killed me and now I was perfectly healthy without it. When I mentioned this to my editor, she said, Cool–sounds like an essay. I agreed. I started to read scientific studies of the appendix, and I spoke to some scientists who had written about its evolutionary origins. The question remains open, I discovered, in large part because scientists have a lot of work left to do to trace its history in mammals and to understand its function in us and in other special.species.

The existence of unanswered questions in science sometimes come as a shock to non-scientists, but there are plenty. How does the brain develop in a baby, for example? Scientists have identified some important genes, but they only have the vaguest idea of how those genes work together to create the cerebellum, the cerebral cortex, and all the other parts of the brain. That doesn’t make their work inconsequential or wrong. It just means they’ll be busy for a few more centuries.

I eventually wrote an essay (which you can read here or here) in which I explained what is and is not known of the appendix. I included a speculation from one of the scientists, Rebecca Fisher of Midwestern University, about why the appendix is still with us. She suggested that the appendix provided a net evolutionary benefit. It killed some people with appendicitis, but it also protected them by boosting the immune function in children. Testing this hypothesis is possible, although it will demand an analysis of a lot of medical records. But it is certainly plausible, since biologists have documented similar trade-offs.

This caused Coulter a great snit, which appears on page 214 of Godless:
So there it is: the theory of evolution is proved again. When the appendix’s use was a mystery, it proved evolution. When the appendix was thought to help humans resist childhood diseases–well, that proved evolution, too! Throw in enough words like imagine, perhaps, and might have–and you’ve got yourself a scientific theory! How about this: Imagine a giant raccoon passed gas and perhaps the resulting gas might have created the vast variety of life we see on Earth. And if you don’t accept the giant raccoon flatulence theory for the origin of life, you must be a fundamentalist Christian nut who believes the Earth is flat. That’s basically how the argument for evolution goes.
For some people, this outburst has come to epitomize Coulter’s empty rhetoric. A pretty good analysis of her scientific errors published Friday on the web site Media Matters is entitled, “Ann Coulter’s ‘Flatulent Raccoon Theory.’” The report has triggered the spread of the flatulent raccoon meme around here at scienceblogs, and elsewhere. It has even earned its own Wikipedia entry (although its survival is still up for grabs). [Update: The deliberations at Wikipedia are over: the giant raccoon theory is now a subsection of the Ann Coulter entry.]

There are plenty of passages in Godless’s evolution chapters that are as wrong-headed as the Giant Flatulent Raccoon Theory. But having witnessed my own work go through Coulter’s mangling machine, I can’t help marvelling on just how wrong-headed it is. Coulter conveniently leaves out the fact that when I decribed Fisher’s trade-off hypothesis, I stated clearly that it was just that: a hypothesis. I even pointed out that it was one of several possible hypotheses that might be worth examining. (See, for example, this Scientific American article by George Williams and Randolph Nesse in which they propose that it can’t get any smaller without causing more infection). Again, that’s how science works: people come up with hypotheses that are consistent with the evidence, and then they think about ways to test those hypotheses with new evidence. Instead, Coulter portrays Fisher’s hypothesis as “the answer the Times gave” as to why the appendix has not disappeared–making it sound as if the Grey Lady was handing down absolute truth. She then goes one step further, and transforms a hypothesis-turned-answer into the indisputable proof of evolution. I wonder if Coulter actually read my essay–in which case she presumably knows she is misrepresenting it–or if someone just handed her a passage to quote and told her to make up a joke about farts. In any case, she manages to create a truly laughable straw man.

The theory of evolution is not a pile of imagines and might-haves. It has been tested by generations of scientists and found to be the best explanation science can provide for how the natural world has gotten to be the way it is. Naturally the theory has matured over the past 150 years, and naturally many aspects of it generate fierce debates. That is how science works. If Coulter can only wage her war against evolution by misrepresenting a speculative hypothesis in an essay by a science writer, she really ought to stop and think for a moment.

If she actually did, it might occur to her that she really doesn’t even understand what evolution is, or what evolutionary biologists are setting out to explain. I pointed out in my essay that the appendix does not seem to be intelligently designed. “If I understand the concept of the survival of the fittest,” she responds, “the appendix doesn’t do much for the theory of evolution either. How does a surival-of-the-fittest regime evolve an organ that kills the host organism? Why hasn’t evolution evolved the appendix away? (Another sign that your scientific theory is in trouble: When your argument against an opposing theory also disproves your own.)”


“If I understand…” If only. Here, as elsewhere, Coulter writes about natural selection as if it were a process that can do no wrong. So she thinks that if she just points out flaws in nature she has disproven evolution. Just before Coulter contemplates my appendix, she writes,
But, you say, there must be some characteristics that are inherently desirable without regard to whether or not the organism survived, such as intelligence, strength, or–to take something really obvious–a tendency to avoid eating poison. In one experiment attempting to prove evolution (and those are the only evolution experiments allowed by law), fruit flies were bred to avoid eating poison. One would think that if we could settle on one characteristic that is a priori “fit,” it would be: “Avoid eating posion.” (p.213)
Coulter is then shocked to discover that fruit flies bred to avoid eating poison are outcompeted by ordinary flies. “Yes, it’s been observed for centuries that it’s the truly stupid who are the most successful, live the longest, are the happiest, the wealthiest, the most desirable, and so on,” she scoffs.

News flash: natural selection does not produce traits that are “inherently desirable.” It favors mutations that increase reproductive fitness under a particular set of ecological conditions. And the relationship between mutations and fitness is made even more complicated by trade-offs. Coulter may want to mock the fly research (which for some reason she failed to mention was published in that pseudoscientific rag, the Proceedings of the Royal Society of London), but the fact remains that the scientists found that flies bred for better learning did pay a cost in terms of how well they competed. That may not square with Coulter’s experience with smart people, but it wasn’t people the scientists were studying. Evolution is influenced by all sorts of trade offs, and scientists have done enormous amounts of research on them, in everything from viruses to swans. For heaven’s sake, does Coulter even know about the classic trade-off, sickle cell anemia? What Coulter portrays as the death-blow to the idea that the appendix is the product of evolution is nothing of the sort.

As others have observed, it would take many more pages to explain everything that Ann Coulter got wrong about evolution in Godless than she wrote herself. I will content myself with two pages of a book that now sits atop the bestseller list. And I hereby declare this blog the Original Home of the Giant Flatulent Raccoon!
[Note: The raccoon picture comes from a wonderful new children's book from my old friend Ian Schoenherr, Little Raccoon's Big Question.]

Update 11:30 am: Comments about Coulter’s physical appearance (and other personal details) are irrelevant and, in my view, mean-spirited. They will not be accepted here.

August 25th, 2011 8:51 AM by Carl Zimmer in Evolution, Writing Elsewhere | 33 comments | RSS feed | Trackback >

33 Responses to “Ann Coulter Nostalgia: Behold, For *I* Am The Giant Flatulent Raccoon”


Shameless Screen Grab courtesy of Discover Magazine Blogs

The Flakk Baton Lives in SCIENCE! Ah, never change Scientists. The greater world of scientists can all report what Science leads them to conclude - and work tirelessly for pennies. While Ann Coulter comes out with just crazy talk, and makes millions of dollars. This is no mistake though. Intelligence is at least partially driven by genes (see a previous SciTech Saturdays) and human evolution appears to be veering sharply towards a more lemur like level of intelligence (One believes in Gaia Theory). For every genius born, 1 million dumb people are born*, and "Sharps" (Sharpies, Sharpers) like Ann, are just playing to the odds, to reap her fortune. 

-Lord Malignance



*Statistical Analysis tells us 2.2% of the population are possible geniuses based on IQ, much better odds than One proposed above. However, Genius As Potential and Genius As Applied are two different qualities, and One holds that the number of truly smart people who work in whatever way they may choose to actually change the world, is far, far, smaller. Pokemon counts! If you want to be the Best Pokemon player in the World or whatever you choose to be passionate about, and you strive for excellence and share that with others, you've changed the world. It's the people who sequester themselves and don't share their gifts, of which there are so many, who bring down the percentage. 

The statistically anomalous claim was made for purposes of hyperbole. Or One is lying. Or ignorant. Either/or or all, or none. 

SciTech Saturdays: REM Sleep Boosts Creative Problem-Solving


Sleeping on it – how REM sleep boosts creative problem-solving

The German chemist Friedrich Kekule claimed to have intuited the chemical structure of the benzene ring after falling asleep in his chair and dreaming of an ouroboros (a serpent biting its own tail). He’s certainly not the only person to have discovered a flash insight after waking from a good sleep. In science alone, many breakthroughs were apparently borne of a decent snooze, including Mendeleyev’s creation of the Periodic Table and Loewi’s experiments on the transmission of nervous signals through chemical messengers.

Most of us have tried sleeping on a difficult problem before and using an elegant experiment, Denise Cai from the University of California in San Diego has shown that this old technique really does have merit to it. She found that our brains are better at integrating disparate pieces of information after a short bout of REM (rapid eye movement) sleep – a deep, dream-rich slumber that involves a rapid fluttering of the eyes.  Cai thinks that REM sleep catalyses the creative process by allowing the brain to form connections between unrelated ideas.

Cai is by no means the first person to link sleep or dreaming to creative revelations, but she is one of the few to test it directly through experiments. She asked 77 people to complete a task, where they were given a list of three words and had to find a fourth that was linked to all three. For example, ‘cookie’, ‘heart’ and ‘sixteen’ are all associated with ‘sweet’. In each example of this ‘Remote Associates Test‘ (RAT), the missing fourth word has a different relationship to each of the three targets.



Each volunteer was tested at 9am and 5pm on the same day and in between, they were brought into a special room at 1pm and monitored. They either rested quietly to the tune of classical music, or slept for a maximum of 90 minutes. Of the 40 who dozed off, 28 managed to get some REM sleep. Regardless of how they spent their time, all the recruits did better at the word puzzles in the second session. That’s what you’d expect; the mere passage of time ought to give people a slight edge, as they mull the problems in their minds.

Some of the recruits also did a different set of tests after their morning puzzles, where they had to fill in a missing word to complete an analogy (e.g. FAST is to SLOW as HARD is to E…) Unbeknownst to them, some of the missing words were actually the answers to the earlier RAT task. This time, the recruits who got some REM sleep in the intervening time showed significant improvements in their afternoon test scores, while those who only achieved non-REM sleep or a quiet rest fared no better.
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The REM naps were usually longer than the non-REM ones, but Cai found that the total length of sleep had no relation to the recruits’ success at the second round of tests. It was not the quantity of sleep but its quality that made all the difference to their performance. Only REM sleep allowed them to effectively draw the link between the clues hidden in the analogy tasks and their memory of the morning RATs .

Of course, having a catnap in the day does improve a wide range of mental abilities from alertness to memory. That alone might have been behind the recruits’ afternoon improvements, but Cai showed otherwise. She found that the REM-sleepers weren’t any more likely than the others to remember the answers to the morning analogies, and in fact all three groups remembered about 90% of them. It was only the REM group that managed to use that information to their advantage.

Cai also found that the REM sleepers scored higher in the afternoon tests if they were given RATs that they had seen before – if they were given new sets of words, their scores were the same as the other two groups. That strongly suggests that in this case, the benefits of REM sleep lay not in boosting memory or general mental agility, but in specifically allowing the volunteers to create associations between existing ideas. Indeed, many thinkers have defined creativity as exactly that.

In 2004, Ullrich Wagner also studied the link between slumber and creativity, and showed that people are twice as likely to discover a novel solution to a mathematical problem after sleeping on it for a night. Wagner suggested that sleep might improve “cognitive flexibility” and Cai agrees.

She suggests that REM sleep (aided by falling levels of neural signalling molecules like norepinephrine and acetylcholine) helps us to incorporate new information into existing experiences. That creates a richer network of links for us to draw upon in the future and providing the fuel for flashes of insight.

Reference: Cai, D., Mednick, S., Harrison, E., Kanady, J., & Mednick, S. (2009). REM, not incubation, improves creativity by priming associative networks Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences DOI: 10.1073/pnas.0900271106 Image of sleepy men by Bertlividet


More on sleep and creativity:


Shameless Screen Grab courtesy of Discover Magazine

Villains need sleep to Rule the World, which One wagers we know better than most. 

SciTech Saturdays: Understanding Time


Time Is Out of Joint

by Sean

Greetings from Norway, where we’re about to embark on what is surely the most logistically elaborate conference I’ve ever attended. Setting Time Aright starts here in Norway, where we hop on a boat and cross the North Sea to Copenhagen. The get-together is sponsored by the Foundational Questions Institute, although it came together in an unusual way; I was part of a group that was organizing a conference, and we applied to FQXi for funding, at which point they mentioned they were planning almost exactly the same conference at the same time. So we joined forces, and here we are. Unity ’11!

The topic, if you haven’t guessed, is time. That’s a big subject, one that can hardly be done justice by sprawling books with hundreds of (admittedly quite charming) footnotes. You can see why the conference has to spread over two countries. We’re trying an experiment in interdisciplinarity: while the conference is a serious event meant for researchers, we have a wide variety of specialties represented, including biologists, computer scientists, philosophers, and neuroscientists, as well as the inevitable physicists and cosmologists. (There is also a public event, for those of you who find yourselves in Copenhagen next week.) I can’t wait to hear some of these talks, it should be a blast.

My job is to open the conference with an introductory talk that hits on some of the big questions. Here are the slides, at least as they are right now; last-minute editing is always a possibility. I think I put enough in there to provoke almost everyone at the conference one way or another.
Setting Time Aright
View more presentations from Sean Carroll.

Shameless Screen Grab courtesy of Discover Magazine

Some of the Big Questions about time - for the Time Travelling Villains, of which One can count no less than 4 current and former Villains. Can you name all four? 

-Lord Malignance

Friday, August 26, 2011

And One Did It Again...

Just a few blog posts ago, One said One was going to leave the Flakk Baton behind, and not contribute to negativity - and One just did it in the blog post before this one.

Ack.

You have One's apologies. It is a failure on One's behalf, and I take responsibility for my actions.

One is still trying to do the same things One has always been doing, and slipped into an instinctual behavior.

One is sorry, and it shouldn't happen again.

-Lord Malignance
Fourth Estate. Lawn Chairs.

When You Think Jackass Flameout, Only One Name Comes to Mind

http://transmissionsfromthedamocles.wordpress.com/2011/08/23/329/#comments


One would like to clarify an understanding of Evil for henchmen not terribly clear on the concept.

And first, let's start by pointing out that in two years, you've brought the police/feds and death threats to the door of your wife and children. One knows only a blithering idiot would do that twice in as many years, so let's work from that humble foundation. You and you alone, no help from anyone else. Strictly by your own machinations. No one else to blame for *Mind Control*. You have done this to your family, again. You did it knowingly. If you have so little respect for the safety of your own family, why would anyone think you have any respect for yourself or others - is that going to be your justification for your actions now? Really.

Trust is reciprocal. Even your dance partner who is shunned understands this. So that IF you share your real life identity with anyone, that trust is included. You may think you have nothing to lose by burning your friends and family in games of Seduction and Betrayal, but most people don't think that way. As a Villain, One can tell you that personal information given in trust, is respected, as One would expect you to respect that same information from others. We're seeing a lot of jackasses abusing trust and claiming that this makes them "villains".

It doesn't.

It makes them and their actions, nothing. It tears down what has been created by others for no more than snickering purposes. There IS a point to Villainy, and You know this. Better than most in fact, better than Oneself perhaps, and it certainly isn't for your ridiculous guided excursions into self loathing. What IS Villainy? What is its purpose? It isn't to entertain you alone. In case you didn't somehow know this, people watch you and learn from you because they admire you. "Do they really?", you ask.

Let's look at your recent influences. On your blog you are quick to point out how bad the Juggalo Crime Syndicate (not their real name, but easy to infer who One means) is - how low their intent and desires. Yet if you go to their website (Forum), you are listed as a member, a contributor to their operations, a founding member if you will. You have been friend in Facebook to every unworthy mouth breather who could struggle out two sentences of insipid hate towards anyone and anything with no thoughts or plans to accomplish anything. You are quick to point out you would never use Real Names, and yet you had a blog with Tothian's name in the URL where  you used his real name frequently. RSS Reader for screenshots. In fact the greatest and earliest proliferation of Master Legend's real name, came from you. Now it's ironic that you're all a-tizzy that your same actions are coming back against you. Yet again.

One has pointed this out on this blog and in every other location very frequently since April - see "Class 3 Supervillains" for why this is and always has been a bad idea. You and your dance partner who is shunned are the poster children for Class 3 Dumbassery. You're not the architects, you're the first victims. One will also point out your glowing commendation for the "villains don't have rules, don't have codes, we're bad people" post on the you-know-what blog.

And here's the thing - Now, now on your blog,  you're trying to play the "I'm the reasonable person. I didn't do anything that bad" card. But you knew who you were dealing with (heroes and villains). And you aren't addled, though strictly speaking, if your favorite targets are Master Legend, Tothian, Showstopper, Mr. X-Treme, and he who is shunned, One has to wonder, just why you keep shooting for the D Students.

If you implode by your own carelessness, who cares. That's between you and those who care to be around  you. But when you get your giggles out of tearing down the work and joy of others, myself included, you really, really do make it personal. Even the superheroes know this much, as you are so seemingly surprised to find out.

And your attitude "I'm a wretched human being  - you all knew that. Deal with it" is an excuse that wouldn't be acceptable to someone as stupid as a superhero. As we are seeing by their reactions to you. Why would you think (and obviously, you didn't, because the sheer gleefulness of being a dick clouded your judgement) it would work on Villains? That everyone else (and this is entirely you speaking and acting for others, which apparently is a big fit throwing issue for you) would think that this is acceptable behavior. Even something to be proud of?

Let's not forget. The work that was created in Villainy, that has been here for two years, IS diminished when you lend your authority to LARPers in Facebook who claim they are "Bad People" who want to hurt people. It's on all their Info pages, publicly available. You gave the prestige that you and the rest of us have built, to those unworthy, who in turn drag down the work. For what? Giggles and joy? One isn't so much angry as  disappointed. You have ability, but you squander it in stupid games of ruin instead of creation. Idiots like "bad people" in Facebook can ruin things - it's easy. It's High School level thought, and there are no Villains this limited in ability and vision. One knows this. To create and sustain something to give to others to carry, takes time and effort. And that time and effort despite your snickering "all I have to do is hit delete" lame defense, DOES have worth. Obviously not to you, but don't assume it doesn't have value to others.

You no longer believe in Lord Malignance?

I'll do one better.

You've disappointed me*.

-Lord Malignance



* One believes in Villains. One does. You're on THE List, but Ubermas is a great time to forgive. Try not to be too much of you until then, and One will look forward to better times. If  you even want to communicate, because it's clear despite having "died" to leave, you clearly really DO desperately need to communicate. In the meantime: One is relieved you are ok (though a dick) and advises you please be safe and protect your family. It goes without saying that if One finds any villain or superhero contributing in anyway to any action to your detriment, you will be notified.

This isn't even the Flakk One had prepared. This is just off the top of the head in response to your post an hour ago.

Adding Women to a Group Makes it Smarter

Adding Women to a Group Makes It Smarter Because It Develops Better Social Sensitivity

by Susana Polo | 3:34 pm, August 25th


An MIT study that seems to have found that while “there’s little correlation between a group’s collective intelligence and the IQs of its individual members… if a group includes more women, its collective intelligence rises.”

Understandably, the idea that a few extra X chromosomes on their own could reliably improve collective intelligence where group satisfaction, group cohesion, group motivation, and even the intelligence of the individuals in the group could not caused a lot of people to very carefully inspect their methodology and question their finding. So the researchers involved, Anita Woolley, Thomas Malone, and Scott Berinato, went back to their data, replicated their findings twice, and clarified the real meaning of their conclusion.

It’s not that women are inherently smarter (remember, even higher individual intelligence didn’t have an effect on group intelligence), but that groups with women in them are more socially sensitive.


Woolley, Malone, and Berinato don’t meant that groups with women spent their time watching Sleepless in Seattle and An Affair to Remember back to back; they mean that the groups shared information, listened, and collaborated better, which led to the group being able to express and manifest the intelligence of its members more easily. According to The Glass Hammer, there’s already plenty of evidence that women are more socially sensitive than men:
The results around social sensitivity and women are not groundbreaking. Women have long been hailed as the more collaborative gender – and particularly in the postindustrial work environment, collaboration is seen as a asset, not a weakness.
As Alice H. Eagly, Northwestern University, and Linda L. Carli, Wellesly University, wrote in their 2003 paper, “The female leadership advantage: An evaluation of the evidence,” social sensitivity is an important quality for today’s effective leaders.
“Whereas in the past, leaders based their authority mainly on their access to political, economic, or military power, in postindustrial societies leaders share power far more and establish many collaborative relationships (Lipman-Blumen, 1996). Therefore, contemporary views of good leadership encourage teamwork and collaboration and emphasize the ability to empower, support, and engage workers (e.g., Hammer & Champy, 1994; Senge, 1994).”
While we’re not particularly comfortable with attributing characteristics of personality rather than physicality to one gender or another, social sensitivity does seem like a skill that any group of people who a society considers to be minority or “other” would learn simply as a product of living and working in that society.

Shameless Screen Grab courtesy of The Mary Sue

One has written previously - frequently in fact, on the value that Villainesses bring to Villainy. Here is further evidence, if any were ever needed. Being Villains, and therefore smarter than average people, we already knew this. 

-Lord Malignance

Thursday, August 25, 2011

superheroes are going to be superheroes

Polish Spiderman is kind of a dick


A slightly podgy fellow who dresses like a low-rent Spiderman terrorizes Warsaw with silly string and ill-advised climbing stunts.
Polish Spiderman Wreaks Havoc (via Neatorama)

Shameless Screen Grab courtesy of Boing Boing by way of Neatorama


Superheroes - always terrorizing citizens with your unwelcome existence. 


If only. 


If only people would rise up to throw off the burden of your ridiculous stupid tyranny. 


Oh. That's right. 


Villainy. 




-Lord Malignance