Idiots In Superhero Costumes Reportedly Pepper Spraying Seattle May Day Protesters

Idiots In Superhero Costumes Reportedly Pepper Spraying Seattle May Day Protesters
There are a some striking images coming out of today's May Day protests, but this must be the most absurd. It's is a picture of self-declared 'citizen superhero' Phoenix Jones and his sidekick at Seattle's May Day protests, which have at times erupted in violence. Phoenix Jones has been wandering around Seattle today, allegedly dousing protesters with a comically large bottle of pepper spray.

The Stranger's Slog reports:

I ran into Slog commenter Baconcat, who was pepper sprayed by Phoenix Jones. Baconcat was taking pictures at the courthouse and Phoenix was screaming at the group, 'I'm not against you guys, I'm here to keep the peace and protect this historic building,' and then took them out with pepper spray. Baconcat says his eyes are dry as hell.

Unexpectedly blasting people with burning pepper juice in the eyes? Worst super power ever. He's like Batman combined with a mall cop.

However, Phoenix Jones says he's the one who got pepper sprayed in a tweet:

Phoenix Jones@ThePhoenixJones
I NEVER PEPPER SPRAYED ANYONE I DID GET SPRAYED BY ANARCHIST "PROTESTER" OCCUPY IS OK BUT ROITS ARE NOT
1 May 12 ReplyRetweetFavorite
But we do know Jones is pepper spray happy, having previously arrested for pepper spraying people he said were fighting, but cops said were dancing.

This is all further proof that Seattle is not a real city but the fleeting dream of a stoned Orca Whale floating somewhere in the Puget Sound.

[Image via Rodney Lotter/Facebook]


Shamelessly Screen Clawed from Gawker. 


Who knew it was Phoenix Jones before seeing the picture? Just "Idiots" and "Pepper Spray" is One right? Just those two clues were all you needed. 

The Ray just recently arrested for interfering with Occupy Oakland. He thought he was law enforcement. Bee Sting sitting in Jail as One writes this, for pretending to be the Law. And now Jones, apparently oblivious to all the other superheroes being arrested, decides to give it a go. 

The truth is that there is not enough Reality Show Fame to go around for their egos. They have to go to further and further lengths to seek out any opportunity to get some headlines. Anything, no matter how many innocent people are hurt. 

Superheroes are wrong. We don't need or want vigilantes. We never have. 

-Lord Malignance