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There's some unfortunate news and out of respect for an old friend One felt obliged to make a small tribute lest his life be unremembered.
Bob the Minion has gone off the radar. And if you remember back, there was a time when the Lair was staffed by Bob, One's seneschal, Ghost of Nixon (the Snow Ninja), and Comrade Cocoa, the criminal canine. Cocoa, the Minion of Mao, died, Nixon went to prison (since paroled), but rules about criminals collaborating keep him away in Yorba Linda performing magic and whatever else he may.
Bob, eventually left ahead of a dragnet in the area concerning missing animals. If you knew 5 things about Bob, they were that he was superstitious, spoke about 30 words of English, was unceasingly cruel, technology was his anathema, and the least most interesting thing would be that he was Strigoi Vii (born with red hair).
So Bob, racing ahead of a manhunt which Would have found him (there were witnesses and Bob was unmistakable in his cassock and his roaming around at night), escaped to Ciudad Juarez to continue his very unsocial behaviors where they might go unnoticed.
Now that aspect of Bob that was unceasingly cruel - it was a, One doesn't know, a hobby? A character trait? It could be moderated if it could be directed, but without an outlet, it would get out and Bob would leave a trail. When he went to Mexico, if you knew the stories to search for, you could find Bob.
If you searched further back, you could trace Bob from Idaho in the 70s before records became less available. He came to the Lair a little after 2005 and stayed a few years.
Another funny story - Bob lived in a closet. Not a large closet, just a closet. And not because there wasn't room - no, that's what Bob wanted. He owned few things. More on that in a moment.
So Bob went to Mexico, and you could find the stories of heads showing up in places, assumed to be the cartels, but of course not always.
Then that fool putin invaded Ukraine.
Bob was Roma and for whatever reason, had some ties to mountainous lands in that area, so it was more than likely Bob would have hitched a ride on a boat (stowed away more likely) and made his way back to Europe to do what only Bob could do. Strange thing to remember here, but Bob looked like he was somewhere in his 50s, but he Must have been older. Red hair still, and white, but he was, nimble, agile even. Not sure why that's weird, just one of those Bob stories.
Of course if you knew where to look, you could find Bob in Ukraine. Stories of russian soldiers being tortured and murdered - some of that, and probably quite a bit, was Bob.
It was the lurid cruelty for no reason that made it obviously his work.
And then the stories have stopped. There's still atrocities because russians Are russians, but the news reports that would be Bob are just gone.
Bob can't not be Bob, so he's been stopped. He wouldn't have lived in houses, he didn't need to, but he would have hunted them in houses at night. And while certainly couldn't have been killed (he was sneaky), they would booby trap houses and it's a high probability considering that Bob was a casualty of such a trap.
Another characteristic of Bob - Bob could not and would not grasp a lot of modern technology. He could operate a TV and a microwave, but saw no reason to. He was adept at a telephone. That he could figure out (land lines not smart phones, oh no, never those). He liked to garden, but would only grow things that grew underground - turnips, beets, potatoes and the like, but never anything in the onion family. He would pat the ground and say "them sleepink". Who knows what thought about seeds? And "Wampires nu spahrklee!" He hated the stories of handsome vampires, and Nixon would torment him so.
They say, if you know where to look, you can see any number of serial killers operating in the United States at any time. The data - police reports, patterns, they appear. The FBI doesn't like to advertise this for obvious reasons. Spoilers - more than a few are long haul truck drivers - body dumping in out of the way places, and never around any place long enough for a pattern to form in any one police station. That was Bob on a smaller scale. Think "Traumatic Amputation" and you get an idea of the data points Bob would throw out.
So this remembrance of Bob, ends with something Bob left behind. He took his two Khukri knives (bent boomering looking things), but he left his Kilij. Not a shamshir or a scimitar, a kilij. Every great house in feudal times had a symbol denoting the Honor of the House, and out of respect for Bob, until such time as he might take to come and collect it back, that beaten up old piece of metal will be the feudal symbol of the Honor of the Mighty Colorado Holdfast, and in memory of Bob.
The Malignance Mob is thinning out.
M
