Happy Evil New Year, from Lord Malignance and Gang

Ghost of Nixon, Comrade Cocoa, Lord Malignance, and Bob the Minion, pause in Evil pursuits to wish you all a Happy Evil New Year.

Comrade Cocoa finally has his appearance. Fear the Henchdog!

Lair Art. Not perfect, but it works. You KNEW a Villain would have something like this somewhere around.

Malignaritas - difficult to make, and require specialized equipment. And when a normal blender doesn't obliterate ice fast enough? The MalignoBlender/Wood Chipper 5000. It will TAKE YOUR ARM OFF, if you aren't careful.

Happy Evil New Years Everyone,

Lord Malignance

Ghost of Nixon
Henchman to Lord Malignance

Comrade Cocoa
Henchdog to Lord Malignance

Graf Orlok (Bob the Minion)
Minion and Servant to Lord Malignance

Lair Upgrades, and Holiday Adventures...

Greetings,

It has been some time since the last post, and one thanks you for your fine ideas and efforts. There's still time to contribute your thoughts, and cast your votes. The Forces of Chaos in Villainy seem to have made a decisive move to ensure victory - and if we were heroic weaklings, this might come to pass. We are however Villains, so you can never trust anything you think you see.

A warm Villainous welcome to Tiny Terror to the Blogs of Evil. If you haven't yet made his aquaintance, one invites you please to visit his blog. He's faced the heroes in their forums, and through hard effort, has won their respect. His Evil too is refreshing, for none of us, have staked out Evil in the Spectrum of Fear.

Question in two parts, with one answer: 1) What can you do with spare polar bears? Their environment is disappearing. 2) What has the Potentate been up to?

The Answer;

The RLSH website is in overdrive, and if you hate heroes as much as I hate heroes, you know it's a sickening feeling. Still, wherever there is light, must there not also be shadows?

Lasty, Lair Upgrades are moslty finished now, and here below is the first picture;

May all your Evil Plots bear Dark Rewards,
-Lord Malignance

First Annual Lord Malignance Holiday Challenge!

Greetings,

We Villains, plotting from our hidden lairs across the world, have taken these recent moments from our activities, to notice that the infestation of heroes continues unabated. We ask ourselves, “If one were to put a cape on a mailbox, would it not also be a superhero?” The question on how to eliminate the curse of heroes does indeed vex us. Don’t they even have the common sense necessary to give up in the face of such mighty villainy?!

To this end, and continuing ones current scheme “the Reign of Malignance”, a proposal is made. This will be the First Annual Lord Malignance Holiday Challenge, and the rules are Evil.

1) This is a challenge for Ideas Only. There are no good ideas, or bad ideas, only Evil ideas. No activities are required.

2) The conception is; “What can Citizens do by themselves or in groups, which is better than putting on a mask and patrolling?"

Patrolling being defined as;

a) Handing out sandwiches. Not taking away from sandwiches –if you’re hungry that sandwich is GOLD, but then the next day it is gone.

b) Sneaking around in alleys, flamboyantly attired, looking to snitch on high school kids drinking beer.

c) Posting in a blog, myspace, RLSH forum, on your exploits fighting and defeating the Yakuza, Ninjas, Street Gangs, Corrupt Cops, Evil Spirits, ghosts/werewolves/vampires/demons, etc, all the while giving sandwiches to creepy dudes, who worship you from at your feet.

3) It must be applicable to your local city or town, or applicable to all cities and towns. While solving world hunger could be tackled, the logistics would be significant. We’ll start small for this exercise.

4) It should be easy to do, cost little or no money, and not be a path to martyrdom.

5) No costumes, by either heroes or villains. This is a platform to ennoble the citizen, the everyday man, woman, child, and scarred monstrosity hiding in the shadows and only coming out at night, having been driven insane and living on candybars.

Post your ideas in comments, and they’ll be added to the Poll (replacing the current defaults), which will run until January 15th, 2010. The idea with the most votes wins. You may of course cheat, for it is expected. Cheat with Élan, and Style, as only Villains can.

Some ideas to get the imagination started;

1) Clean out your kitchen shelves every new year, and take your old food to the – food shelter? What is that place called, where food is collected and then distributed to those who need?

2) Participate in a Meals-On-Wheels program.

3) Collect some local phone numbers/addresses and best practices information for neighborhood watch programs. Laminate them, and ask your local super market if you can hand them out, or leave a stack of them in the window.

4) Go out and meet and get to know your neighbors. Talk to them about concerns in your community. Try to find the elderly and help them in what ways you can.

5) If you know any returning soldiers, take a moment and genuinely thank them for their service. If you don’t know a soldier, find one (they’re everywhere).

6) Vote. Often, and as a privilege of citizenship. Help others vote, who may not want to, care to, or be able to get to a polling station.

7) If you are a pet owner, be a good pet owner. Spay or Neuter your pet, take your pet to the vet for checkups, and clean up after your pet when visiting public spaces.

8) Quit smoking if you smoke. It will be hard, don’t kid yourself. People do this all the time however, and it can be done. Help someone else quit if you can.

9) Support a local project for the improvement of your city. Whatever it is, just for the hell of it. You might discover you have a passion for it.

10) Recycle. Recycle something. The more the better. If you can’t, try to create less waste. (Exceptions are Nuclear, or Strange Energy. Villains have got to Live after all.)


The Prize? Recognition by your Villainous Peers as Villain among Villains, posting at the top of the Villain List on this Blog, accolades from Villainy, and fear from the weaklings of good.

One awaits your participation in this great experiment,
-Lord Malignance

Superheroes and the Law: Part Deux

Greetings,

One recently posted a blog on Superheroes and the Law, and in that post, one included links of interest to our cause. Further research this evening (the Lair is being upgraded) allowed one to see how the heroes are viewing this same issue. Below you will find some links, mostly stolen (you can't steal the Internet!) from the RLSH.Net Forums.

To prepare you for your short adventure into the minds of superheroes: One presents "Steven Seagal has Super Powers"

Fear them. It seems there is a new hero joining each day?!

The heroes struggle with the Beating on People.

How the heroes are Looking at the Law.

The heroes look into IPAddress Tracking and Evasion.

The RLSH have a "Forum Lawyer", which is humorous, because you can sue Master Legend and Zetaman for their $300 in assets. The lawyer though, he's got something to go after. And if he should not be too legally clear to the guppies on the forum, he may be seen as contributing to some of their more brutal activities.

The heroes struggle with understanding the difference between Civic Leader (albeit Nutbag) and Vigilante (criminal).

Troll Flakking has become a new sport. If you find yourself wanting to taste the thrill, you may see how it's done.

With splendid horror unfolding,
-Lord Malignance

Catching up on Correspondence

Greetings and Lamentations,

My readers, you cherished few. There have been some fine postings this last week, and dare one say it, Lord Malignance has risen to the top of the list of most hated. Ahh, it is as if an award for Evil was bestowed upon me. (Lord Malignance does not endorse this blog, however believes evaluation may be more damning than anything one could say). If you have not been following some of the sparring, please do find a fine display of Villainy Rampant at the Join Roach blogs. Well worth your time.

You may not know this, but one often tries to keep up on his email replies and posts in blogs as one finds them. This brings us to some questions that have been vexing people aware of ones malevolent presence;

Comment: "You're not even Evil enough for your ArchNemesis to acknowledge! You suck! "

Reply: "1) One has only been out in this public arena these last four months. My ArchNemesis, at least as many years. Why should he acknowledge me? One expects that in his time, he's seen many ArchNemesi appear and vanish.
2) Lord Malignance didn't choose a lesser hero, a henchman gone wrong. If you kick a snake, the snake bites you. What challenge is that? No, one challenges the elite of the Superhero movement, and he should be careful, and determine ones challenge by the consistency and quality of the challenge. This may take years to move into the correct alignment, but rest assured all moves are proceeding on my timetable, and to my designs.
3) My ArchNemesis certainly is aware of my activities, and has made small overtures to judge my malevolence. Again, some "heroes" think this is a wrestling match, where costumes abound, and the result is always larger than life. They choose to see the world and ones motives in the simplistic context of comic books, where the likes of the Green Goblin are always guilty, easy to find, and defeat. No, this is more akin to Chess, where there are moves, feints, sacrifices, strategies, and campaigns."

Comment: "Trolls are awesome, they use profanity that is radical! My mom never let's me swear. You suck! "

Reply: "You will find, as you actually take and hold a position of employment, that the grown up world expects a certain level of sophistication to come from one of your adulthood. Strive to speak precisely, and allow wordcraft to be an instrument of your citizenship."

Comment: "I'm an anonymous troll, and I think you're all terrorists! I'm demonstrating limited functional intelligence! "

Reply: "Calling Villains terrorists, is hyperbole, and appears useful only in stirring the emotions of people with a staggering detachment from reality. Let one be clear: Terrorists are dangerous people who seek to kill and harm innocents. There are no Villains who ascribe to this in ANY way, nor will one associate with them. One believes it to be true, that all Villains, and all sane people agree to this as truth. Realistically, if there were terrorists, posting on these blogs, wouldn't law enforcement harvest them from our company? When you carelessly assign these extreme labels, you demonstrate a laziness, lack of intellect, and knowledge that is disheartening. Scumbags? Maybe. Terrorists, no."

Comment: "Your costume sucks (like you do). It looks like you went to the Villain Goodwill, and raided the Dollar Bin".

Reply: "One actually researched the fine history of Villainy to fashion this appearance as a pastiche of such classics as Dr. No, Doctor Doom, and the ubiquitous "Mad Scientist". All combined with an homage to my previous appearance of Cthulhu. It acheives its primary objective most elegantly. As if one needs explain this to trolls who post w/stolen jpg images.

An Email from Thunderspawn the Destroyer: "You villians are ALL SLIME, especially you, you liberal moran. When the NeoCons ran this country we were strong! NO ONE WOULD DARE MESS WITH US, BECASUE WE SOULD NUKE THEM ITNO THE STONE AGE!!!! If I ever see you on the street, I'm going to KICK YOUR ASS, you freaking socalist. Heros are going to ...." (Frankly, he gets even weirder after that).

Reply to Thunderspawn (from the Email reply): "Thunderspawn, you poor, sad deluded child. One will say this to you once, and in small words for you to have someone read to you; "You are wrong. Bad Thunderspawn. Bad Bad. No cookie. Back to your coloring book, you "moran". "

A warm sinister welcome to tHe aBsTrAcT, one looks forward to the unveiling of your Evil.

If Villainy was easy, more heroes would elevate to our station.
-Lord Malignance

P.S.
Baroness, your emails aren't reaching me. May one suggest you check the address once more?

Superheroes and the Law

Greetings and Lamentations,

As Evil continues moving forward, and searching for the methods and means to liquidate the growing threat of Citizen Heroes, one now pauses to enumerate our agents. One uses the analogy of a chessboard to compare our struggle and our strategies.

1) Bishop: The Puny Brains of Superheroes. As Agent Beryllium posited in a recent post, their greatest enemy may in fact be themselves. This has been such a concern that even my poor doomed ArchNemesis fights to bring this to the attention of the forces of good.

2) Castle/Rook: The Law. A veritable cornucopia of articles will appear before you, if you but search with the keywords “Real”, “Superhero” and “Law”. The first rule of revolutions in action.

An entire website that addresses Superheroes and the Law.
www.superherolaw.com/ and
www.facebook.com/pages/Superhero-law/104034027431
The website contains such verisimilitude and interesting discourse, such as; “It appears, however, that in many states wearing a mask, not just on Halloween, represents a misdemeanor or class 6 felony in certain situations.”


From Find Law, regarding Shadowhare (the Lawyers are lining up), where the quote “Unlike police officers, who have a considerable degree of immunity for their actions, and even their mistakes, while on duty, these masked crusaders have no legal shield protect them from a variety of criminal and civil consequences.” And “Civilians taking on such a role will be viewed by the law through an entirely different lens that is judging the reasonableness of each of their "enforcement" actions (Shadowhare and his friends apparently come equipped with pepper spray, handcuffs, and tasers).” can be found.

From the Times Online “For Mr Invisible, the first and last blow to his burgeoning career as a superhero was an unexpected punch that flattened his nose.”

From CNN “"Vigilantism is never a good thing," said Bernard Gonzales, public information officer for the Chula Vista, California, Police Department. He's had some interactions with real-life superheroes. "The very best thing a private citizen can do is be a good witness."
Mr. Ravenblade said he's just that.
"If you're a real-life superhero you follow the law. If you catch somebody you can't just tie them up and leave them for the cops, that's for the comics. You have to wait for the cops and give them a statement," Mr. Ravenblade saidWhile citizens helping out in the community is encouraged, Gonzales said the costumes can go.

And again from CNN; "Where these people are out in public, and there's children around and everything, and these people are not revealing their identities, it's not a safe thing."

3) King and Queen: The Evil. You know who you are. You know in your heart what needs to be done. You have only to believe that you can make the change in the world that your mind knows is possible, and work tirelessly towards that end. With style.

4) Knight: Time and Reality. The piece moves in a non linear manner, and may surprise you, just as Time and Reality will. Today they are young, and optimistic. Fools! All too soon, the cold grip of the grave will wrap itself around their spines, and compel them to seek out jobs, move out of their parents basements, and strive for justice in less flamboyant ways. Sarcastic? Yes, but while fighting for good works to be done, one must sometimes use sinister means. The palette for Villainy is hued to darker tones.

5) Pawns: The tools, techniques, trades, and talent of this world, and all that we may bring to bear upon it. People are pawns, but the minutes of the day too, may be used in this endeavor. Everything you manipulate to serve your purpose may be thought of as a pawn.


Organization updates:
In this struggling economy, one proposes this pay rate for Minions and Henchmen;

Minions: $10 a week, w/responsibilities including running errands, minor research, tasks, and communications. They may also be permitted to make small purchases on your behalf, and may be allowed to do less critical clerical work.

Henchmen: $20 a week, w/responsibilities including establishment and maintenance of a blog, riding herd over the minions, larger purchases, skilled tasks, full and developed research, and representing the Villain in his/her absence. Henchmen will be expected to provide their own character and appearance and maintain professionalism. They may, as needed, be expected to be capable of applying whatever leverage a situation may require. (This is nebulous for a reason. There is work of Evil that is best left unsaid, but you know what it is).

Benefits other than pay for staff shall include training, experience, and job placement opportunities (a letter of recommendation to other villains). Staff will be expected to have full and working knowledge of the villains Oath, and Standards (You can use what you like, this works for one’s own needs), and to abide by these rules and others as stipulated.

Furthermore, though the villain may for example, fire you 3 times in one week for not bringing forth the desired results on a forum, your subsequent rehiring does not come with a pay increase.

One believes with this structure in place, the hiring of associates will be more easily facilitated. Always stress that working for a Villain is such a privilege that they should in fact be paying YOU. Compromise down to paying them nothing, and have them be thankful for the opportunity.

A villainous warm welcome to Dr. Overkill, and the Grinning Skull.

With splendid horror unfolding,

-Lord Malignance