Listing of Evil Schemes
Cleave, Liquidate, and Enslave
October 2009
Cleave: To identify what constitutes heroic behavior and to separate those heroes who (for the most part) aspire to be this ideal, and those who do not. First, by identifying with a list those most unworthy of Heroes.Liquidate: To examine, and bring to light these failed heroes most egregious of transgressions, to mock to humiliate, to seek to destroy their fragile concept of self image. Where they can be cajoled to mend their Orcish ways, they will be encouraged to do so. Where they will not, then to cast further light on their activities.Enslave: To move the Real Life Super Heroes away from violence and psychosis, and towards community service, charity, neighborhood watch programs, leadership and community preparedness. In short the heroic ideal that others may aspire to and choose to emulate in the coming generation.
The Engine of Malignance
September 1st, 2009
We understand the dynamic as set forth; Opposing forces, different sides of the chessboard. The function is as ancient as humanity, and finds itself demonstrated in many fields of science. It is the property of balance. As the Archetypes of Heroes and Villains, we understand that where the Heroes triumph, we lose, and where we succeed, they must suffer. Is this applying of the dynamic the only one that can be used? It certainly is the simplest, but are there not other dynamics that allow the conflict, with a positive outcome? A win/win result where the necessary conflict provides the fuel of passion, but the result is one with a benefit to both sides and society at large. The Engine of Malignance.
The Reign of Malignance
November 12th, 2009
The scheme is deceptively simple: Beat the Heroes at their own game. Find some charity, or good deed, do the work, and do it with Evil efficiency and Elan, and then ride that publicity pony on every website, and blog, and newspaper available. Think of the Penguin from Batman 2, and his sweet, seductive manipulation of Gotham's gullible media.
The Instrument of Evil: Codename "Cello"
February 12, 2010
Deployed: To Be Announced
Pondering what horror my Evil might unleash on an unsuspecting world, and on the seeming failure (at present) of the Evil Scheme “The Engine of Malignance”, one crafted the scheme “The Reign of Malignance”. The idea of this latter plan being described as “The scheme is deceptively simple: Beat the Heroes at their own game. Find some charity, or good deed, do the work, and do it with Evil efficiency and Elan, and then ride that publicity pony on every website, and blog, and newspaper available. Think of the Penguin from Batman 2, and his sweet, seductive manipulation of Gotham's gullible media.”As you will learn, Lord Malignance is a scheme recycler, and keeps this plan running in the background of other operations.Recently, the Potentate pondering the Zeitgeist of this new Word of Hope and Change, crafted his Plan to bring about the eventual destruction of Super Heroes. His diabolical plan being described as “The good people at Pepsi have begun a campaign where they are issuing millions of dollars in grants to people who have good ideas to help the world. I think ROACH should try and share in that piece of the pie. I think this is a chance for us to break out and show the world what a power we could be.”Combining these two plans would seem to be feasible. Oh, there will be conniving schemes to overthrow someone on the project somewhere – it is in the nature of Villains to seek to sabotage the success of others, and claim all power, resources, and glory for themselves, but the overreaching objective should still be attainable.
Googlebomb
April 10th, 2010
Wouldn't you like to know?
The Malignobot
March 22nd, 2010
Deployed to Enslave Mankind: To Be Announced
To Be Announced
Next Evil Scheme
Monday, March 22, 2010
Malignobot Version 1
Placeholder page for future development. Nothing here to see. Move along...
Malignobot: A description
The value of a comparitive Model: the Dalek
Malignobot Mind.
Disclaimer: Daleks, and their distinct imagery, including behaviours, and sounds, are justly copywrite protected by the estate of the late Terry Nation, and the BBC. No attempt to infringe the intellectual property, or ideas will be made. The BBC, and the estate of Terry Nation, are quick to assert their rights to protect their property, and are legally justified, and correct in doing so.
Malignobot: A description
The value of a comparitive Model: the Dalek
Malignobot Mind.
Disclaimer: Daleks, and their distinct imagery, including behaviours, and sounds, are justly copywrite protected by the estate of the late Terry Nation, and the BBC. No attempt to infringe the intellectual property, or ideas will be made. The BBC, and the estate of Terry Nation, are quick to assert their rights to protect their property, and are legally justified, and correct in doing so.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
First Draft of Campaign Speech for Instrument of Evil.
Campaign style setting, with Lectern, and campaign posters in evidence. Old Glory, in a stand behind your candidate, who calmly walks in to make his speech.
[Audience Applause]
LM: You may crouch. People of Earth, I AM Lord Malignance, attend my words.
LM: One comes to you today, not as an insane megalomaniac bent on the enslavement of all mankind, but instead as an American Businessman. And how IS business these days? Like you, this economic turndown has been trying, made even more difficult by the unwarranted oppression of Superheroes.
LM: While many businesses have seen sharp increases in profitability – your banking conglomerates, defense contractors, healthcare CEOs, Politicians, Sports players, and celebrities, your hard working villains have been tirelessly working in secret, as their economic prospects diminish.
LM: It hasn’t always been like this. Once there was a time when each self respecting villain was able to follow their dream of world domination, and if he or she worked hard and saved well, could afford their own volcano underground base, or orbiting space station. Ah, those were good days – and of course by “good” one means “Evil”.
LM: The cold war eventually ended, and the various world Clandestine Services drove many villains into more modest activities. Many villains gave up their higher calling, sinking into political or religious pursuits and denying their own dreams of “making a difference”. Recently you may recall as one does fondly, the hope we all felt with the many bold successes of the NeoCon cabal. Rapaciousness was alive for villainy once more as many, like ones self, sought opportunities in this new world where none were held responsible for their crimes. The Bill of Rights? Annihilated!
[Audience Applause]
LM: Before we could sink our many sharp claws into corrupted governments, the Evil boom along with the Economic bubble – suddenly burst. Villains were for a moment unsure of what their next far reaching plans should be. Some wrote Tell All books, and went on media tours. Some slithered back into their lairs, awaiting the next opportunity. Hope and Change appeared to be a ray of sunshine, our dark world did not need.
[Audience gasps and awwws]
LM: Seeing a slight chance to in any small way hinder our achievements, so called Real Life Superheroes have appeared, attempting to take advantage of this moment. Undaunted by their many significant emotional, psychological, and physical weaknesses, they have emerged and seek to add to the plight of hard working villains.
[Audience Boos, and some hysterical screaming]
LM: So People of Earth, one asks you now: When the hard working villain can no longer suppress the spread of Costumed Activists and they are allowed to spread free and unchallenged, who will these self appointed judges of morality turn on next? On people who watch and love Baseball, Football, and Hockey? Hard working citizens who love their country, and only want to give their children a happier future? On people who go to church, synagogue, temple, and shrine? When will their intemperance be too much for the people of a free world to bear?
LM: If YOU choose to rise up, and throw off this tyranny of their oppression, one asks only that you go to [insert website URL here] and cast a vote for Freedom! Cast a vote, and say NO! to the unjust persecution of a hard working, under represented minority! Vote: Villainy, and tell your friends.
[Over the top Audience Applause. Some sobbing for joy]
LM: Thank you, and good night.
[Audience Applause]
LM: You may crouch. People of Earth, I AM Lord Malignance, attend my words.
LM: One comes to you today, not as an insane megalomaniac bent on the enslavement of all mankind, but instead as an American Businessman. And how IS business these days? Like you, this economic turndown has been trying, made even more difficult by the unwarranted oppression of Superheroes.
LM: While many businesses have seen sharp increases in profitability – your banking conglomerates, defense contractors, healthcare CEOs, Politicians, Sports players, and celebrities, your hard working villains have been tirelessly working in secret, as their economic prospects diminish.
LM: It hasn’t always been like this. Once there was a time when each self respecting villain was able to follow their dream of world domination, and if he or she worked hard and saved well, could afford their own volcano underground base, or orbiting space station. Ah, those were good days – and of course by “good” one means “Evil”.
LM: The cold war eventually ended, and the various world Clandestine Services drove many villains into more modest activities. Many villains gave up their higher calling, sinking into political or religious pursuits and denying their own dreams of “making a difference”. Recently you may recall as one does fondly, the hope we all felt with the many bold successes of the NeoCon cabal. Rapaciousness was alive for villainy once more as many, like ones self, sought opportunities in this new world where none were held responsible for their crimes. The Bill of Rights? Annihilated!
[Audience Applause]
LM: Before we could sink our many sharp claws into corrupted governments, the Evil boom along with the Economic bubble – suddenly burst. Villains were for a moment unsure of what their next far reaching plans should be. Some wrote Tell All books, and went on media tours. Some slithered back into their lairs, awaiting the next opportunity. Hope and Change appeared to be a ray of sunshine, our dark world did not need.
[Audience gasps and awwws]
LM: Seeing a slight chance to in any small way hinder our achievements, so called Real Life Superheroes have appeared, attempting to take advantage of this moment. Undaunted by their many significant emotional, psychological, and physical weaknesses, they have emerged and seek to add to the plight of hard working villains.
[Audience Boos, and some hysterical screaming]
LM: So People of Earth, one asks you now: When the hard working villain can no longer suppress the spread of Costumed Activists and they are allowed to spread free and unchallenged, who will these self appointed judges of morality turn on next? On people who watch and love Baseball, Football, and Hockey? Hard working citizens who love their country, and only want to give their children a happier future? On people who go to church, synagogue, temple, and shrine? When will their intemperance be too much for the people of a free world to bear?
LM: If YOU choose to rise up, and throw off this tyranny of their oppression, one asks only that you go to [insert website URL here] and cast a vote for Freedom! Cast a vote, and say NO! to the unjust persecution of a hard working, under represented minority! Vote: Villainy, and tell your friends.
[Over the top Audience Applause. Some sobbing for joy]
LM: Thank you, and good night.
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Pushing towards the Enslavement of all Mankind
Greetings and Lamentations, I AM Lord Malignance, and I have Returned,
A villainous thank you, to all for their kind and Evil thoughts. The Accounting is done, but for analysis, which will take some time to complete. Some preliminary findings for your review;
Amazon.com is waging war on my Colorado Holdfast. One enjoys the many services of Amazon, and so, has chosen to allow this affront to my dominion. The greater argument to win is that the Internet is Free, and therefore Evil, and should remain so. This shall be resolved to ones satisfaction shortly.
Searching for the superhero infestation in my domain, one experienced two unique moments;
1) While searching “Mountain Towns” for Wallcreeper, Windowpeeper, or any combination of similar words, one found an opportunity to enjoy snowy activities. Being a helmeted megalomaniac who yells at everyone was completely accepted as normal in the skiing communities. The assumption being that one was “shredding” turning out to be a fortuitous cover for my sinister activities. No one has heard of ‘ole Creepy’, so his activities may be more covert.
2) One searched the Hive of Villainy known colloquially as “Colfax Avenue” for evidence of Zen Blade harassing my interests, and no one recollects having seen him. Which is probably for the best. “CC” my guide in this told me two important things; 1) It would cost me “fiddy” to have an answer, and 2) If one yelled at him anymore, he was going to kill me, and dump my body in an alley. Good to know. The answer, as best one can determine is that one should take my freak self out of there as soon as possible. So, one takes that to mean, “No sign of Zen Blade”.
So called “Tea Party Gangs of Old White People” are really getting out of hand, and will have to be handled. Negotiation, for the record, does not appear to be a successful stratagem. Mockery though, sends a light beam of absurdist joy into one’s heart. The fact that most of them are armed to the teeth and “ready to go” (to heaven) should not in anyway bring fear to innocent bystanders caught in any crossfires.
Still looking unsuccessfully for a way to exploit and export Radon, which exists in abundance in the very soil upon which one treads, and in the air one breathes.
The Unnamed Horror that dwells beneath the Denver International Airport continues to sleep, as it has all these many years. Therefore, the future opportunity for apocalypse appears to be well managed. Always extending a malevolent ‘thank you’ to the tireless work of the Phoebus Cartel for their work on ones behalf (though they have not seen fit to accept ones application to their august body).
In ones absence Ghost of Nixon had an opportunity to flak trolls, and your reviews of his efforts are welcomed and appreciated. Please take a moment to answer the survey in the upper right hand corner. Of course, as an Evil Blog, w/an Evil Survey, cheating is allowed. Training the next generation of Villains is a responsibility one takes as duty.
Instrument of Evil: Today, 12 days remain until The Next Pepsi Challenge. One is gearing up to engage this opportunity to assault the weakness of good. Think: "Vote: Villainy".
The Great Shadow: As a gifted eccentric (so called “Insane Megalomaniac”) one has been accused of being too great, and casting too large a shadow for the works of others to flourish. As a responsible villain, one calls this omnipresence “The Great Shadow”. While one was away for the Accounting, how has Evil flourished?
Agent Beryllium excelled to new heights with the inspired brilliance we have come to expect, including a Crusade to reinstate Pluto to its rightful place in the planetary pantheon.
The Destructive Kitchen, continues to improve and intrigue. What conundrums will be expounded upon, what secrets revealed?
Poop Knife has been in the trenches, bringing common sense to the senseless ninnies of good. Possibly the most incisive, critical thinking blog out there, for those in the Villain business. Including ones own… Curses!
The Artist Formerly Known as Grodd, (now known as Vandalor) has built and is continuing to develop a Blogtalk Radio show. If Call In time can be arranged, one would like to dial in on the next show. If no time can be arranged in advance, one will try and dial in ~2115 Mountain Standard Time. Gifted eccentrics can be quirky...
The Return of Legend: Crimson Nematode posted, and if you have never partaken of posts so Evil, so ruthless, so absurd, so fun, you have not yet lived as Evil.
Russell Hants continues to champion the cause of Evil on Survivor. The heroes, like heroes, are losing, as they always must.
The Scarlet Fool has been seen about, here and there, gracing those fortunate few by his insight. If you have been so favored, consider yourself acknowledged by a Master of Evil.
The volume and quality of the work is superior, and continues to improve. If anyone has not been mentioned, you have one’s sincere apologies. The Lair is not yet quite up to speed, as one continues unpacking the Malignosedan from the voyages.
Where is Bob? One believes Bob is heading East, despite rumors to the contrary. While one cannot be sure, it is possible to track Bob. One is watching for descriptions of “creepy, black robe, red hair, smelly” to find him. Apparently in 1975, Bob was in Idaho (check “Cults).
What is Go Go Maligno! and why didn’t one find out about this earlier? Is it real, or is it parody of my magnificence? One cannot be sure, and will instead believe it to be devotional. Being not the least bit paranoid (gifted eccentric), one will monitor their activities. Dare one say, “Welcome!”?
-Lord Malignance
A villainous thank you, to all for their kind and Evil thoughts. The Accounting is done, but for analysis, which will take some time to complete. Some preliminary findings for your review;
Amazon.com is waging war on my Colorado Holdfast. One enjoys the many services of Amazon, and so, has chosen to allow this affront to my dominion. The greater argument to win is that the Internet is Free, and therefore Evil, and should remain so. This shall be resolved to ones satisfaction shortly.
Searching for the superhero infestation in my domain, one experienced two unique moments;
1) While searching “Mountain Towns” for Wallcreeper, Windowpeeper, or any combination of similar words, one found an opportunity to enjoy snowy activities. Being a helmeted megalomaniac who yells at everyone was completely accepted as normal in the skiing communities. The assumption being that one was “shredding” turning out to be a fortuitous cover for my sinister activities. No one has heard of ‘ole Creepy’, so his activities may be more covert.
2) One searched the Hive of Villainy known colloquially as “Colfax Avenue” for evidence of Zen Blade harassing my interests, and no one recollects having seen him. Which is probably for the best. “CC” my guide in this told me two important things; 1) It would cost me “fiddy” to have an answer, and 2) If one yelled at him anymore, he was going to kill me, and dump my body in an alley. Good to know. The answer, as best one can determine is that one should take my freak self out of there as soon as possible. So, one takes that to mean, “No sign of Zen Blade”.
So called “Tea Party Gangs of Old White People” are really getting out of hand, and will have to be handled. Negotiation, for the record, does not appear to be a successful stratagem. Mockery though, sends a light beam of absurdist joy into one’s heart. The fact that most of them are armed to the teeth and “ready to go” (to heaven) should not in anyway bring fear to innocent bystanders caught in any crossfires.
Still looking unsuccessfully for a way to exploit and export Radon, which exists in abundance in the very soil upon which one treads, and in the air one breathes.
The Unnamed Horror that dwells beneath the Denver International Airport continues to sleep, as it has all these many years. Therefore, the future opportunity for apocalypse appears to be well managed. Always extending a malevolent ‘thank you’ to the tireless work of the Phoebus Cartel for their work on ones behalf (though they have not seen fit to accept ones application to their august body).
In ones absence Ghost of Nixon had an opportunity to flak trolls, and your reviews of his efforts are welcomed and appreciated. Please take a moment to answer the survey in the upper right hand corner. Of course, as an Evil Blog, w/an Evil Survey, cheating is allowed. Training the next generation of Villains is a responsibility one takes as duty.
Instrument of Evil: Today, 12 days remain until The Next Pepsi Challenge. One is gearing up to engage this opportunity to assault the weakness of good. Think: "Vote: Villainy".
The Great Shadow: As a gifted eccentric (so called “Insane Megalomaniac”) one has been accused of being too great, and casting too large a shadow for the works of others to flourish. As a responsible villain, one calls this omnipresence “The Great Shadow”. While one was away for the Accounting, how has Evil flourished?
Agent Beryllium excelled to new heights with the inspired brilliance we have come to expect, including a Crusade to reinstate Pluto to its rightful place in the planetary pantheon.
The Destructive Kitchen, continues to improve and intrigue. What conundrums will be expounded upon, what secrets revealed?
Poop Knife has been in the trenches, bringing common sense to the senseless ninnies of good. Possibly the most incisive, critical thinking blog out there, for those in the Villain business. Including ones own… Curses!
The Artist Formerly Known as Grodd, (now known as Vandalor) has built and is continuing to develop a Blogtalk Radio show. If Call In time can be arranged, one would like to dial in on the next show. If no time can be arranged in advance, one will try and dial in ~2115 Mountain Standard Time. Gifted eccentrics can be quirky...
The Return of Legend: Crimson Nematode posted, and if you have never partaken of posts so Evil, so ruthless, so absurd, so fun, you have not yet lived as Evil.
Russell Hants continues to champion the cause of Evil on Survivor. The heroes, like heroes, are losing, as they always must.
The Scarlet Fool has been seen about, here and there, gracing those fortunate few by his insight. If you have been so favored, consider yourself acknowledged by a Master of Evil.
The volume and quality of the work is superior, and continues to improve. If anyone has not been mentioned, you have one’s sincere apologies. The Lair is not yet quite up to speed, as one continues unpacking the Malignosedan from the voyages.
Where is Bob? One believes Bob is heading East, despite rumors to the contrary. While one cannot be sure, it is possible to track Bob. One is watching for descriptions of “creepy, black robe, red hair, smelly” to find him. Apparently in 1975, Bob was in Idaho (check “Cults).
What is Go Go Maligno! and why didn’t one find out about this earlier? Is it real, or is it parody of my magnificence? One cannot be sure, and will instead believe it to be devotional. Being not the least bit paranoid (gifted eccentric), one will monitor their activities. Dare one say, “Welcome!”?
-Lord Malignance
Monday, March 15, 2010
The Return of Lord Malignance
The Return
Of
Lord Malignance
March 18th, 2010
(you may begin crouching now)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)