Saturday, April 30, 2011

Thank You Star Trek Phase 2

Finally, someone sums up One's feeling for the last Star Trek Movie;



Thank you, Star Trek Phase 2, and courtesy of Topless Robot.
See more Fan produced Work at the link above, and encourage those people to please do more.
One is not advocating support, unless they make tribute by having a Great, Genius, in a Gold Helmet as a character, or send the customary Huge Bag of Cash. Still - One IS a fan though.

-Lord Malignance
Lens Flares are no replacement for a good script!

In the Event of an Outbreak of Zombies...

In the unlikely Event of a Zombie Outbreak (unless someone on a space station that shall remain nameless, actually does perfect Zombie Gas), you should know who your best people to turn to will be.


And it Won't be Lord Malignance.

Courtesies of Agent Beryllium, Overlord, and the Doctor Austin of Zombie Science 1Z

Take your own test, and see how well you do. Are you better or Worse than the forces of Villainy?

Friday, April 29, 2011

Volcano - Up Close




Few people would venture up close to an erupting volcano. But photographer Dr Richard Roscoe specialises in capturing volcanoes in action so he was eager to be one of the first to spend a night on the rim of Mount Bromo in Eastern Java, Indonesia. Since November 2010, the volcano has entered an unusually long active phase, displaying strombolian activity, towering ash columns and occasionally powerful shockwaves. Roscoe managed to film examples of different types of activity from the crater rim and a neighbouring inactive cone (see video above). He says:

"From the deep pit at the bottom of the crater, incandescent material was frequently hurled high into the air. Sleeping would have been too risky and was anyhow impossible due to the tremendous roaring noise often coming from the crater resulting from powerful degassing and frequent explosions"

Shameless Screen Grab from NewScientist

Superheroes getting headlines any way they can

Gah! The police must be so ashamed right now...

Vigilantes Band Together To Protect Sex Workers


Vigilantes Band Together To Protect Sex WorkersWith police investigations in shambles, a group of self-described superheroes have formed to protect sex workers from the serial killer menacing the New York area.
The New York Initiative, as it calls itself, has formed a Facebook group and defines their mission thusly:
The Long Island Killer is out there. He's a scary bastard, and it's starting to seem like he is focusing on you pretty ladies because some people are slower to report you missing, and also because apparently the law doesn't respect your personal choices and that means cops are slower to follow through when it comes to you. Well, I'm here to say FUCK THAT. We respect you as human beings, we believe in personal freedoms and think that you're doing something that is absolutely your choice to do.
They recently posted the following on Craigslist:
If you absolutely don't have a friend to help you [track your movements while on a date], you may use the services of the New York Initiative as your personal log book, as well as your rescue team in the event of an emergency. If you choose to do this, we will provide you with a number to call and a few one-number or one word codes you can say or text to us so that we can contact someone to assist you with a possibly violent date. Another idea is keeping us on speed dial, and if things get weird just call us and let the line open. We'll know what's going on immediately.
We also have other techniques which we can explain to you after confirmation via phone.
We love the idea of a support network (I mean, organized law enforcement would be even better, but still) but as the Atlantic Wire queries, "These guys obviously take themselves pretty seriously, but would some homicidal maniac do the same when they show up with their homemade armor and (presumably kind of foggy) goggles?"
Yeah, it's a little goofy, and some folks are clearly living out their superhero fantasies, but it's heartwarming nonetheless. Plus, they offer self-defense classes! They have asked people to spread their message and I for one am happy to — if for no other reason than some woman could learn to better defend herself — and hear the words "you are not alone." While I wouldn't abandon 911, it's nice to know there are people out there who care.

Courtesy of IO9, and Jezebel

Bring your (Evil) Children to Work Day

Greetings,

Today is Bring your Daughter and/or Son to work day. Villains must also take the time to raise their children in Evil (though there aren't too many Villains with Children it comes to mind). Some advice for Villains with children; Shameless and possible unethical screen grab with credit to The Mary Sue (a Site for Geek Girls);

10 Places You Should Not Take Your Daughter On Take Your Daughter To Work Day


Allow Us to Explain

Allow Us to Explain

We are all about Take Your Daughter to Work Day (or, as it is now known, Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day). In a time when it’s a struggle just to get people to acknowledge that something needs to be done about the underrepresentation of women in the sciences, academics, and business, it’s super important to remind young girls that no matter what they’re interested in, and no matter how “feminine” (or not) it is, they can totally do that when they grow up.
So this Thursday, April 28th, 2011, take your son or daughter to work with you.
… but not if your boss is a religous zealot, your coworkers are notoriously and fatally untrustworthy, or if devastating scientific accidents happen on a semi-weekly basis. In other words, but not if you work in any of the following places.


The Death Star

The Death Star
For parents waiting to induct their young into space fascism, working on the Imperial Empire’s prize battlestation contains the double discouragement of being a dangerous job with dangerous bosses. If a faulty security system, and surprising lack of guardrails weren’t enough to deter most people, you’re just as likely to have your office blown up by a whining farmboy and his new friends.
Or, if you fail in simple tasks, your zealously religious leader could simply Force-choke the life out of you. That’s not a moon, that’s a workplace lawsuit!



Gizmotic Institute

Gizmotic Institute
If you’re sensing that your boss has a general hostility towards you, that’s a pretty fair reason to think about skipping Bring Your Daughter to Work Day. But you should definitely consider it if your boss might have you shot into space and forced to watch terrible movies for the rest of your life.
Scientists at Gizmonic Institute have done this not once, but twice to two different innocent be-jump-suited janitors. Reports were that they both did a good job of of cleaning up the place, and that the only possible motivation for their celestial banishment was that they were regular joes the scientists didn’t like.



Venture Industries

Venture Industries
MAJOR SPOILERS INCLUDED, you’ve been warned.
Venture Industries, the ambiguous inventor’s corporation started by Dr. Venture’s dad, would seem safe from the outset. After all, he’s got two teenage sons, and they’ve managed to make it to puberty without too much hazard.
Except…they haven’t. At all. They are the sixteenth cloned versions of the original Venture Brothers, because, as Venture says “If you have death-prone children, you keep a few clones around.” Or, if your job description includes being attacked by archvillains and their armies of henchmen (who sometimes follow Guild of Calamitous Intent guidelines), killer robots (often ones designed by you), occult mishaps (what? you needed the rent money!), and a host of other dangers, you keep a few clones around.
Plus, with Brock Sampson off with SPHINX!, the new bodyguard on site is Sergeant Hatred. You know. The former supervillain who really, really likes little boys and girls with tiny feet.



The Nebuchadnezzar

The Nebuchadnezzar
Back in 1999, when The Matrix blew all of our minds, audiences wanted nothing more than to be on the crew of Morpheus’ ship, to be able to plug in, and go kick some Agent ass. The crew of the Nebuchadnezzar (yes, really), however, exists in one of the worst work environments one could call up from the binary biosphere.
Any which way you shoot at it with an Uzi, there are serious problems. You’ve been unplugged from your supposed oppressors, but you’ve just left behind a mostly sedentary life as a hacker for an existence of holey sweaters, grey gruel, and running for your life in a sunless, post-apocalyptic wasteland. Not to mention, your captain is the leader of a cult that believes you’re all on a mission to retrieve the Messiah…a mission so important that your life is forfeit without a second thought. Any problems that might normally arise on such a hovercraft expedition, such as the likelihood of taking unnecessary risks, being spotted by Sentinels, or dealing with a life-threatening mutiny, just increased tenfold. If he’s right, then your only consolation is that your inevitable sacrifice means something. If Morpheus is wrong, then you’re strapped hand, foot, and headplug to a crazy megalomaniac whose erroneous belief in bald Keanu is going to get you all blown up. It’s not like you can complain to the second-in-command, either, since Trinity not only buys into this hoodoo, but has the hots for your supposed savior.
Either way, we’d leave our kids at home in the last-city cesspit called Zion. Better yet, we’d leave them plugged in, safe and sound in their goo baths. Beats the hell outta reality.


Aperture Laboratories

Aperture Laboratories
We know for a fact that Aperture Science Laboratories encourages its employees to take part in Bring Your Daughter to Work Day. GLaDOS tells us as much when she mentions that BYDtWD is a perfect time to bring your daughter in to “get tested.”
But you may want to consider that twice when your company’s official guidelines on said testing recommend “scorn, flattery used in an ironic context and naked contempt as motivational tools.”
Although, to be fair, crippling emotional abuse is probably preferable to being left outside at the mercy of the Combine.



The Black Pearl

The Black Pearl
You might think this one’s a no-brainer: obviously a pirate ship is no place for a small child. They plunder and pillage and are really bad eggs. But lets look a little deeper. The Pirates of the Caribbean movies would like us to believe that Captain Jack Sparrow belongs at the wheel of The Black Pearl, that he is destined to the role of captain. But he’s absolutely the worst pirate captain ever.
Because the qualities of a pirate are actually mostly antithetical to the qualities of leadership. Just look at his successor, Barbossa, and ask yourself: how do pirate captains keep order?
First: Rum, and lots of it. Second: Beatings. Third: Execution. Barbossa takes a group of pirates who were already veteran mutineers, and leads them smack into an Aztec curse which means they cannot drink, eat, enjoy “pleasurable company,” feel the pain of the lash, or be killed. Do they mutiny? Do they even pick another leader? No. He keeps the same group that up and mutinied on Jack simply on the promise of a bit of gold together for more than ten years.
Now, the fact that the crew of the Black Pearl need each other to be able to break the curse (actually, they didn’t, once a man spilled his blood into the chest and returned his coins he could have left at any time, really; they just stood a better chance of finding the last coin and a Turner together) could have explained why it was easy to keep them together as a group. It does not explain why Barbossa was still captain, except for sheer charisma.
I had a point here… Oh, right. Jack is the worst captain ever. Don’t let your kids near him.



Working As An Extractor

Working As An Extractor
Here’s a hint for all the hard-working ex-military freelancers casting their eye towards the Extraction game; if you want to know about a work environment, take a look at your coworkers. Not only do none of them, with the exception of your boss, have children, none of them, with the exception of your boss, seem to have obvious outside relationships. You are dealing exclusively with antisocial thieves, forgers, and what is possibly a drug dealer, getting paid in cash or deposits to illegal bank accounts. Sound glamorous? Don’t let the three-piece suits fool you; none of your coworkers have any reason to stick around except for money. They have no reason not to pick up and leave, particularly when they’re being chased by anonymous corporations bent on killing all of you, or even being chased by the regular authorities. This is not, strictly speaking, legal.
Your coworkers may feel even more inclined to leave you swinging in the wind (or floating in a hotel) when they take a long, hard look at that exception we mentioned earlier; your boss. The man in charge of your gig is not only a work-focused neurotic addicted to dreaming of his ex-wife (who you’ll have to take his word that he did not murder), but the subconscious projections caused by his obsession may show up at any point in the game to send you tumbling into brain-scrambling Limbo. Oh, he didn’t tell you until you were pulling the job? Little thing, no big deal…if you get killed this time around while down under, you won’t wake up. Not for decades, at least, maybe a lifetime, at which point you’ll be a vegetable.
Talk about PASIV-aggressive.



Working as a Blade Runner

Working as a Blade Runner
Ridley Scott’s iconic Blade Runner only gives us a view of one of these lone gunmen. Yet, though his gruff demeanor and ratty trenchoat are perfect for this future noir, Deckard’s job is terrible. Being a freelance detective assigned to hunt down escaped androids, or Replicants, might give you more time with the kids, in theory. But the only significant time Deckard spends in his apartment is when the trail has gone so cold that all he can do is drink and analyze photos…or when he’s been shot. Have you ever heard of a private eye that posted working hours on his door? His work times are beyond erratic, and downtime is just as likely to be interrupted by mysterious visitors bringing even more trouble in with their ridiculous coats.
This precludes the job itself, which you’ll be on even if you try to quit, thanks to the police chief’s penchant for blackmail. Then there’s the tricky ethical tangle behind a Replicant’s right to live free from the colonies, if only for a few years. If you can get past all that and manage to find any of your targets, as soon as they figure out who you are, they will try to kill you. Did we mention that all of them, even the “pleasure model,” have extensive combat programming? Good luck.
Besides, be it the distant past or the retrofuture, who wants to live in Los Angeles, anyway?



The Suicide Squad

The Suicide Squad
It’s one thing to say that one of your coworkers is unbalanced, or the kind of perosn who’s going to walk into the office armed someday, or that there’s probably a prison sentence in their pasts somewhere, or that they don’t actually care about the management’s goals.
Because you could be a member of the Suicide Squad, a DC Comics black-ops team comprised of convicted super villains who agreed to work secretly for the government in exchange for having their sentences shortened. Members of the Suicide Squad include Captain Boomerang (Killer of Jack Drake, Robin III’s dad), Deadshot (a nearly amoral assassin), Parasite, Black Adam, Mongul, Solomon Grundy (all guys that can go toe-to-toe with superman), the Penguin, Poison Ivy, the Clock-King (he was in Batman: Animated just look it up, gawd), and last, but not least deadly, Bane.
And what does the government ask them to do? Why, fight other bad guys, and keep tabs on the good guys. Because most of the characters are B-string villains, the writers felt free to really put the Squad in bad situations, and kill off characters with impunity. But as we said above, it’s one thing to have a dangerous work environment. It’s other when everyone of your coworkers is serving time for multiple murders and there against their will.


Courtesy of The Mary Sue, "a Guide to Girl Geek Culture".

Huge Fan of Blade Runner, and Roy Batty (the Villain, naturally) who said;
From the Seattle Weekly no less

Batty: "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time... like tears in rain... Time to die."

Is there anything Rutger Hauer can't make better?


Villainy is not biased against race, religion, gender, or creed. Everyone should be encouraged to challenge preconceptions and stereotypes and find their own destiny in the world. If you are gifted, may you find your way to Villainy, for you will find peers who share your desires to change yourself and the world.

-Lord Malignance

Help for Playstation Adherents

Mighty Lord Malignance feels the pain of Villains with Playstations, and offers this balm to soothe your wounds;

National Nerd Relief Fund Wants to Help Sony



Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Making Fun of Superheroes is Fun!

Avengers Assemble!





Deadbeat Superheroes


And these are Epic Heroes who have Powers. So called Real Life super heroes are even MORE ridiculous.

Selection of Posters depicting Aperture Science

Greetings,
the game getting so much attention at the moment appears to be Portal 2. And for Good (Evil!) reasons. It looks like it's going to be beautiful. 

Something for Time Travellers;


Something for the Lab;



And something for people who love Cakes;


Courtesy of Geekosystem. See more HERE.

Bonus: Portal iPhone Skins
.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Tributes to Elizabeth Sladen

Greetings and truly Lamentations,

If you first watched Doctor Who a few years ago, you might have seen Tom Baker as your first Doctor. If you did, you may have also met Sarah Jane, portrayed by Elizabeth Sladen who recently lost her typically British, brave and quiet battle with her illness. Three short tributes from those who knew her better.

My Sarah Jane: A Tribute to Elisabeth Sladen [Part 1]


My Sarah Jane: A Tribute to Elisabeth Sladen [Part 2]


David Tenant Tribute



Tom Baker says goodbye.

You will truly be missed, Mrs. Sladen.

-Lord Malignance

Troopers / Rescue Mission

Because you asked for it - More Troopers! In this episode: Rescue Mission.



Courtesy of College Humor

Security Update for Villains

Sony: Personal info compromised on PSN



Sony acknowledged today that the personal information of its PlayStation Network customers has been compromised.
The company posted an update on its blog today warning its more than 70 million customers that their personal information, including customer names, addresses, e-mail addresses, birthdays, PlayStation Network and Qriocity passwords, and user names, as well as online user handles, was obtained illegally by an "unauthorized person." The data was accessed between April 17 and April 19, according to Sony.
With respect to credit card information, which many users have given to Sony in order to purchase or rent content via the service, Sony is less sure of what transpired.
"While there is no evidence at this time that credit card data was taken, we cannot rule out the possibility," a company spokesman wrote today. "If you have provided your credit card data through PlayStation Network or Qriocity, out of an abundance of caution we are advising you that your credit card number (excluding security code) and expiration date may have been obtained."
And as a result, Sony has temporarily turned off PlayStation Network and Qriocity, its subscription music service, contracted with an outside security firm to investigate the intrusion on its network, and started to rebuild its system and security.
It took Sony five days to level with its customers about the consequences of what knocked its service offline. Midway through last week users noticed error messages when trying to sign into the service. While the company initially acknowledged the service was inaccessible on Friday, it offered no explanation of why and said PSN would be back up and running in a "day or two."
Yesterday Sony acknowledged an "external intrusion" on its network and said it was in the process of rebuilding PSN. It never hinted that personal data was compromised, and it's unclear what took them so long to do so.
The company says it is currently in the process of e-mailing all of its customers about the intrusion.
At 70 million records exposed the Sony breach could be one of the largest. The DataLossDB.org site lists four breaches larger than that with the Heartland breach in 2009, which exposed about 130 million records, at the top followed by the TJ Maxx breach at 94 million records in 2007.
In the meantime, Sony says it "has a clear path" to bring PSN and Qriocity back online "within a week."
This post was updated at 2:35 pm PT with additional context.
CNET's Elinor Mills contributed to this story.

Erica Ogg is a CNET News reporter who covers Apple, HP, Dell, and other PC makers, as well as the consumer electronics industry. She's also one of the hosts of CNET News' Daily Podcast. In her non-work life, she's a history geek, a loyal Dodgers fan, and a mac-and-cheese connoisseur.

Zombie Test Results...



Test yourself at Zombie Science 1Z

Courtesy of Agent Beryllium

The Fall of Dyna-Woman

So sad when Superheroes fade away. Perhaps the Kurgan was right; "I have something to say! It's better to burn out than to fade away!"


Courtesy of College Humor

Hello My Name Is: Executive From Hell

Executive from Hell. Evil Rebranding Works!


Courtesy of College Humor

Monday, April 25, 2011

Kinect Self-Awareness Hack

Looking at working with the X-Box Kinect for teleconferencing purposes, One found this video;

Courtesty of College Humor

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Ten Finds for People of German Extraction


Greetings,

Ten surprising and delightful categories of finds for people of German extraction. Some easy, and some less obvious for your evaluation and enjoyment;

1) The Art of Germany
Wiki on German Art
History of German Art
Contemporary German Art
Dada, though perhaps not originating IN Germany, is an export from Germany
German Art Movements (categorization for further interest)

2) The Sound of Music
Wiki on the Play
Georg Ludwig von Trapp the true story
Amazon.com for the Music from the Movie (you can hear snippets for free).

3) Sausages
12 German Sausages
Order your Delicious German Sausage with a Bavarian Accent from Stiglmeier.
More Sausage you can order from Koenemann's "Country Style".
Bavaria Sausage, Inc

4) Beer
Wiki on Beer in Germany
Top 10 Beers
German Beer Styles. From the German Beer Institute. They have that?!
Milwaukee likes Beer in the German fashion. Which makes sense actually.
Oktoberfest

5) Better know your Germans
Fun German Facts
Wiki on the Culture of Germany
Polka is not strictly speaking German in origin, though loved and enjoyed as part of the culture.
Germans in America - Origins

6) Visiting Germany
Top 21 Landmarks to visit
Best 10 Sights and Attractions in Germany
German Geography
German Castles
Images for German Castles
Castles for Sale
"Uber-Geeking out at the Essen-Spiel in Germany" Tour

7) German Food
Wiki on German Cuisine - a survey.
Top 20 Recipes on AllRecipes.com
German Food Guide
German Food Guide and Directory
Seattle German Restaurants
A Fine Colorado Springs German Restaurant (for comparison).
Origin of Hamburger
You MUST have a serviceable German Potato Salad.

8) German Language
Young German Slang with MP3 Downloads
Learn German Podcasts
German Word of the Day
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (One is a fan)
Famous quotes from von Goethe
Fictional history of Victor von Frankenstein (a Villain) a German, created by Mary Shelley.
List of German Language Philosophers (very extensive list).

9) Music in Germany 
A page with links to Bands, TV stations and Radio Stations. The Rock and Pop listing.
Wiki on Music of Germany, including History from beginning to present.
Links for German Music - ranging from Traditional to Modern.
Ludwig van Beethoven
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart


10) The Hoff
David Hasselhoff helped end the Cold War. What?!
David Hasselhoff has released 10 albums in Germany.
Why do the Germans love David Hasselhoff?
Experience the Hoff Live in Berlin and experience it for yourself;


As it Happens, Germans Don't Really Love David Hasselhoff All that Much.

Frohe Ostern,

-Lord Malignance

Bonus;

Saturday, April 23, 2011

The Phantom of the Office

The Phantom of the Office is a Villain with style, and One hopes you enjoy him as much as One does;



Many videos for you fun, courtesy of College Humor.

-Lord Malignance

Troll Hunter




Troll Hunter - the Norwegian Blair Witch Project - and about 1000 times cooler!

Geek Girls

A Collection of links and finds for Geek Girls;


EMBED-Geek and Gamer Girls Song - Watch more free videos

Courtesy of Topless Robot
What? Baroness! Always somewhere else but at my side. You will be MINE one day...


(October 8th and 9th, 2011 - in Seattle!)

(The Source for Women in Computing).

(many links from here)



Seems to be associated with some form of Boot Camp.


Waaay My Little Pony

Cool.

What the site will intend



(Gifts.com)

A page with Links

Personal Tech + Innovative Lifestyle for Women

(Insert male sexist review comment here)

(Seattle Volunteering for Geeks)

Podcasts and much more

"Smart. Savvy. Essential."

A Seattle Events Calendar for geeks, makers, hackers and worldchangers

Seems more mature than others

(Has not updated since June 18th, 2010) Ideas though!

Seattle's Technology News Source

They even HAVE that?

Connecting Women in Technology (a review)

"Enlighten us. but make it quick"

(Listing 2 groups)

Fooood

(Last year August 13-22 - no update, yet)

Map of interests

What Geeky Women are Doing Now

That's right. One is going there. To keep ANY male readership One has left.

Hosting "unConferences" providing a unique environment for women working in geeky fields (Science, Engineering, and Math).

A book w/reviews on Amazon.com
Enjoy,
-Lord Malignance
(You will be MINE Baroness!)

Friday, April 22, 2011

Geek Guys

A total screen grab from the author w/attention to her specified permissions for use;

[This essay is copyrighted by Jennifer Brozek, 1997. It may be saved, downloaded, or distributed from this page providing that the author's name and this notice remain attached to the essay. Please do not alter the text in any way. "Please remember that this is based on my own personal experience of Geek guys across 15 states and 2 continents. Not every Geek guy will be as described. Share and enjoy." - JLB]

Geek Guys

Not So Bad After All

Actually, the title is a bit misleading. I think Geek guys are cool as 'just friends' or as a boyfriend. I have associated with Geek guys (and girls) all my life and have been richer for it. There are a number of reasons for this. (Yes, my boyfriend is a Geek and proud of it. So am I.)

Geek Guys are smart, loyal, interesting, have an cool sense of humor and are very creative. Parents love them, too.

No two Geek guys are exactly the same. And you wouldn't want that in any case. It's their individuality and endearing (odd) quirks that make you love them. However, while they -are- different, they have a lot of things in common. Listed below are some of things I've found that they do have in common. These are some of (the many) things that make a Geek guy a real treasure.

How does it work? They love to take things apart to see how the parts work together or just to see what's inside. It doesn't matter if they can put it back together or not. If they can, (usually with screws left over) that's a plus... if not, it goes into the 'cool stuff' pile to be cannibalized later. Cannibalized for what? Who knows. See Creativity.

Toys. All Geek guys love and own toys. Be they the cheap Fast Food toys from a children's meal or vintage props still in the original packing. These toys usually adorn the work space/office/computer area and are set up in a particular manner. This is called a Geekosphere. A Geek guy's Geekosphere is sacred. It is a plus to be able to identify each toy. And if you cannot identify one, you should ask, if you are interested in the answer. He will be able to tell you everything about it and why it has a spot within his Geekosphere.

Creativity. Geek guys love to make things. Be it a drawing, a map of a Game Dungeon, Maze or Land, a prop for a Sci-fi convention or a `thingie' that lights up. Whatever it is, your Geek guy will put a lot of effort into it.... criticizing it is a bad thing, UNLESS, you can constructively point out a flaw in the design and offer a solution. Geek guys love it when you are interested in their fun. Also, you will learn things about stuff you never knew existed. Check out a Geek guy's website. You will find some of the most outrageous, obscure stuff you never thought of.

Science Fiction/Fantasy Conventions. Geek guys can be found in droves at one of these conventions. They buy their favorite toys, game with old and new friends alike, go to the 'Behind the Scenes' panels, listen to their favorite Sci-fi/Fantasy Author/Actor speak and are very social in general. A Geek guy is in his element at a Sci-fi/Fantasy convention. He will have no problem dressing in costume, debating the issues in his favorite TV show/movie or comparing and contrasting the abilities of various characters from different genres. He is 'The Man' at a convention. (He usually has some of the coolest and neatest and oddest props/toys/costume/etc...)

Gaming and role playing. Lots of Geek guys love to 'game' or 'role-play.' Be it AD&D, Top Secret, Call of Cthulu, Marvel Superhero, any of the White Wolf, World of Darkness genre or perhaps a homemade system. They live their lives vicariously through their characters. You can learn a lot about what a Geek guy thinks by watching him game. Role playing opens up the whole world to the Geek guy (and a Geek girl for that matter). He can be whatever he wants. The Villain. The Hero. The Smart Guy. The Spy. And he usually has an interesting, if less-than-direct, method to solve the problem at hand, get the prize and win the girl. The perfect place to view Geek guys in RP action is Gaming Convention. There, you have hundreds of Geeks guys strutting their stuff.

The Net. Now, this is THE place for a Geek guy. They can be anyone or anything they wish. They can chat on IRC (Internet Relay Chat). They can show their insight on a BBS or Newsgroup. They can be a Hero or Villain and beat the heck out of monsters or other players in an online Internet game like Diablo or Meridian 59. They can build entire worlds and role-play on a MUCKS (Multi-User Created Kingdoms). The Net lets the mind free of the barriers of Reality. There are very few social drawbacks on the Net. Your shy Geek guy has time to think of just the right witty line to woo the heroine or cut down a net.tomcat in defense of a lady.

Geek guys and a challenge. No challenge can be turned away. Ever. Be it an intellectual challenge or a physical challenge. Geek guys will rise to the occasion. They may have to call Brazil to get the answer to a question or not sleep for 3 days writing a program or playing a video game or break their thumb opening something but they will prevail! I have known a Geek guy who spent a week finding out the name of the Actor of an obscure character in a commercial that was seen 25 years ago because he was challenged to. He prevailed. I have seen a Geek guy spend hours taking something apart to fix it when he could have gone to the store and spent $5 for a replacement item because he 'should be able to fix it, d*mmit!' He prevailed. I've seen a Geek guy tear apart his computer and put it back together to get a piece of hardware working. It was a challenge. He prevailed. I have seen two Geek guys square off over a video game. It's an impressive sight. Yes, challenges are irresistible to a Geek guy and watching them and their intense concentration on the challenge at hand is truly a sight worth seeing.

Humor. The Geek guy often has an obscure, twisted sense of humor. It's usually laced with a bit of sarcasm and is full of little known references... unless, of course, he is among other Geek pals, who will know exactly what he's talking about. Many times, the humor is quite disgusting but amusing. Often times, a Geek guy will put himself down in his humor. Geek guys can laugh at themselves as much as they laugh at the world in general.

Dress. Casual, comfortable and 'wearable.' A Geek guy usually lives in jeans and a T-shirt. Occasionally, he'll throw on an oxford type shirt or sweater. What's important is that he is comfortable. Period. (Note: The wardrobe of a Geek guy can vary widely, from sweats to jeans to dockers. It depends on the Geek guy himself.) If he's comfortable, he is free to let himself concentrate on whatever it is that he is working on. Glasses and a 'no fuss' hair style are often common.

Geek guys and a mystery. Like challenges, mysteries are siren songs to a Geek guy. They must know how something works. They must open that door, press the red button. Geek guys can be worse than a cat. However, their intelligence will help them solve the mystery and put things back together once they've torn it apart to look at the insides. Mysteries are not as intensive as challenges. They don't need to be solved immediately but they will always be in the back of the brain. Once a Geek guy latches onto a mystery, it may take time, but he will unlock it to his satisfaction.

Music. This can be anything. In fact, what makes this a common element among Geek guys, is their love of music and variety of it. Everything from Rock to Alternative to Classical to Oldies to Opera to Folk music. One thing I have seen is a tendency to dislike Country music. I'm not quite sure why this is. Most Geek guys own at least one instrument, even if they don't play it. Some plink and others are darn good.

Diet. In my experience, a Geek guy's diet consists mostly of sugar, junk food and anything microwaveable. Now, this isn't to say that a Geek guy can't cook. Far from it. A lot of Geek guys can cook and cook well. They just don't have the time or desire to do so... Esp. if they are on-line, working on a project or going to/are at a Game. However, if they want to impress someone, they will go all out. I'm a good cook and I've been impressed with some of the spreads my Geek buddies have laid out.

Loyal. Geek guys make the best friends. They are usually fairly shy and have a small but close knit group of friends. If you make friends with a Geek guy, cherish him. You have a treasure. Not only is he a likable guy, he is loyal and steady. He is someone you can count on in times of need or frustration. He is a good listener and will help you solve a problem if you ask. Geek guys don't make friends easily but once they do, they will go through Hell and High Water for you. You should do the same for him.

Intelligence. This is usually what set your average Geek guy apart in the first place. He was smart. Smarter than the rest of the kids. He knows things. He can tell you how something works. He can help you understand something you don't. He can broaden your horizons. He's great at trivia games or helping you figure out your computer or the newest piece of software. This same intelligence that has created the misfit of the Geek Guy, is the same intelligence that has created computers, the TV, email, video games, found cures for diseases, and many, many, many other inventions/cures. It has made life in general what it is today.

Parents love Geek guys. Geek guys seem like wholesome, responsible, potential breadwinners who will be polite, courteous and gentlemanly with their daughter on a date. The Geek guy is someone that Fathers can quiz on intellectual situations and Mothers can talk to without being uncomfortable. Geek guys usually have no problem relating to parents or family pets. They will spend hours talking to parents about anything and everything.

Geek guys are romantic. Yes, Geek guys are the hopeful romantics of the world. They want to be the Knight in shining armor, the poet of love, the bearer of gifts. He will bring you flowers and candy on Valentine's Day. He will remember your birthday. He will take you out to dinner in a nice restaurant. Of course, his gifts and tokens of affection might not be of the everyday variety. The flowers may be via computer, the gift may be a heart sculpture made of microchips or a new screen saver with pictures of you and him together on it, the poetry may be full of odd phrasing comparing you to a computer or a piece of hardware, but the candy will be candy and you will have to share. *grin* No matter what you receive or how you receive it, your Geek guy will have only the best and most hopeful romantic thoughts in his head for you.

Geek guys are passionate about pleasure. When I was talking about Parents and the Geek guy, I said that "Geek guys seem like wholesome, responsible, potential breadwinners who will be polite, courteous and gentlemanly with their daughter on a date." While this is true, when the Geek guy and his date/gal pal/Significant Other are on their date/watching TV/etc... and are in the back seat of the car (or where ever they are in private), when the glasses come off, watch out. A Geek guy is very passionate and has a hidden wild streak. He is very eager to please and be pleased. If you have a fantasy... he will try to fulfill it, especially if the fantasy involves role-playing. And your Geek guy probably has a couple of fantasies that would make a sailor blush. Ask, you might be surprised. Geek guys can be serious hedonists.

Occupation. Geek guys generally tend to the technical occupations. Computer Programmers, Engineers, Software/Hardware Quality Assurance, Hardware Engineers, System Administration, Tech Support. The list goes on. Sometimes, you'll see a Geek guy in a writer's or Editor's position. If the Geek guy is still in college, he is usually working in the college computer lab, grading papers or being the Professor's teaching assistant. As the world becomes more and more technical, the need for the Geek guy grows. They are the only ones who know how things work. Something to remember.

Where the Geek guy hangs out. Actually, Geek guys hang out everywhere: Music stores, the workplace, the movies, a friend's house, concerts, conventions, gaming or book stores, Malls, local 24 hour restaurants. The thing is, Geek guys have been so abused and maligned and ignored for so long, people no longer see them. Oh, people may see a Geek guy (or group of Geek guys) with their eyes but they don't notice them. Geek guys are everywhere. Stop and look around you sometime. You'll see what I mean.

There. Done. I hope you enjoyed this. Now that you've read all of it, I suppose you are wondering why I wrote it to begin with. Well, the answer is simple. I've known and liked Geek guys all my life. I was sent an essay that was supposed to be a humorous guide to Geek men for women. Unfortunately, I found it rather condescending, mean and exploitative towards the Geek guy. I wrote the Geek guy who sent it to me, pointing out how it was mildly amusing but that was lacking in many of the basic fundamentals of Geek guys in general. Then I wrote up some examples (Re: How does it work, Toys and Creativity.)

By the time I was done sending off the email, I had decided to write this. The extremely positive response from my Geek guy friend on what little I had written in the email made me even more determined to do so. I wanted people to see what I see when I encounter a Geek guy. I know Geek guys aren't perfect. Far from it. But their faults have been pointed out a lot more than their good attributes. That's why only the good things are pointed out in this essay. Geek guys are sweet, lovable, intelligent, creative, funny and definitely worth getting to know. Take the time to talk to one. You'll be glad you did.


All stories, scenes, works and poetry owned by Jennifer Brozek
(c) 1997-2007 - Jennifer Brozek
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Thursday, April 21, 2011

Future Henchmen...

More Troopers humor, demonstrating that in the Future, Henchmen still are still having the same issues they always have: Other Henchmen.


Courtesy of College Humor

Villainy in the Future

Villainy in the Future: Villains will still have the same management issues...


Courtesy of College Humor

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

New Doctor Who Style

An absolute screen steal from this original location. Excellent information and analysis. One HAS the Ninth Doctor's jacket, and you can too, by visiting this website.

Agent of S.T.Y.L.E.: The New Fashion of Doctor Who!


April 15th, 2011
Author Alan Kistler

The original series of Doctor Who lasted 26 seasons, from 1963 to 1989. Thanks to his ability to regenerate his body when he’s close to death (as long as it’s not damaged too greatly and death isn’t instantaneous), the Doctor displayed 7 different incarnations over those many adventures. With the exception of a TV movie in 1996 that introduced the 8th Doctor, the TV show did not return until 16 years later in 2005 when we met the Doctor’s new 9th incarnation.

The first four incarnations had a strange dress style, a mixture of Edwardian and Victorian touches with a flair for the ridiculous. The 5th, 6th and 7th Doctors comprised what later came to be known as the “costume era”, wearing strangely stylized outfits decorated by question marks. The 8th went back to a more classic, slightly steampunk look before later (as we recently discovered) adopting a leather, Naval jacket.
The new series Doctors have gone for more modern looks but have each maintained a style that has made them stand out in many environments. So let’s take a look, shall we?

9TH DOCTOR – THE WAR SURVIVOR


“Do you wanna come with me? ‘Cause if you do, then I should warn you, you’re gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won’t be quiet, it won’t be safe, and it won’t be calm. But I’ll tell you what it will be… The trip of a lifetime!” – The 9th Doctor, from BBC trailers
The Doctor regenerated into his 9th incarnation in the aftermath of the Last Great Time War. This new version of the Time Lord, played by Christopher Eccelston, was born out of violence, pain and survivor’s guilt. In his previous eight lives, he had been a renegade Time Lord. Then the war happened and he was forced to go from roguish adventurer to being a soldier. Now he was the last of his kind, piloting the last TARDIS in the universe, his homeworld gone.

This was a Doctor who had to learn how to operate in a universe where he couldn’t rely on the Time Lords to look after paradoxes and where he couldn’t call on them for help if things got beyond his control. He was on his own and so he was more a man of action rather than the ancient scientist exploring for its own sake. Before he even had time to look at a mirror and see what his 9th face looked like, this hero was off and running, ready to bomb an entire building to slow down an invasion of plastic Auton warriors.
The 9th Doctor could be harsh, offering no aid to the a future-born human being who had been willing to commit mass murder for the sake of money. He was edgy, prone to mood swings, and didn’t deal with anything he considered as a waste of his time. He was also plagued by the fear that the Last Great Time War had turned him into a simple killer and he took any setbacks or defeats very personally. He would joke around and act easily distracted, but when he saw that danger was about, humor largely went out the window. When he saw a threat, this Doctor became focused, snarky and short-tempered.

“You think it’ll last forever: people and cars and concrete. But it won’t. One day it’s all gone. Even the sky…” – The 9th Doctor, from “The End of the World”
His outfit definitely fits this attitude. A leather jacket, long-sleeved shirts of various solid colors, short-cut hair, and simple trousers. It’s simple, pragmatic, no-nonsense. It allows the Doctor to blend in with the crowd and the 9th Doctor definitely preferred this more than some of his previous incarnations. What’s more, this Doctor, despite being a man of action, was not one who necessarily needed to save the day all by himself. In several adventures, he was content to be an enabler who guided others to become heroes in their own right.
But the Doctor is a paradox in all his incarnations and this one is no exception. The 9th incarnation’s wardrobe makes him stand out in other centuries just as much as the old Edwardian and Victorian style outfits he wore stood out during trips to the 20th and 21st centuries.

When Paul McGann was cast as the 8th Doctor in 1996, he mentioned that he thought it would be fun to explore the darker side of the Doctor’s nature and that this could be visually symbolized with short-cut hair and a dark leather coat. He was told that such a look would not work for the Doctor. Christopher Eccleston proved to us all just how wrong that idea was.
“And if you wanna remember me, then you can do one thing. That’s all, one thing…
“… Have a good life.” - The 9th Doctor, from “The Parting of the Ways”

10th DOCTOR – ROMANTIC GEEK ADVENTURER


“I’m the Doctor. And if you don’t like that, if you want to take it to a higher authority, there isn’t one. It stops with me!” - The 10th Doctor, from “New Earth”
Just before ending his 9th life, the Doctor was faced with a no-win scenario similar to what he faced at the end of the Last Great Time War: either accept defeat or release a doomsday weapon that would take out everyone, enemies and friends alike. But this time, he decided that he’d rather be defeated and branded a coward than be a man who engaged in a Pyrrhic victory. This choice justified that he was not a simple killer, that he was still an explorer who treasured adventure more than being a bringer of death and destruction. And so, with some of his guilt lifted, he entered his tenth life, as portrayed by actor David Tennant.

In his 10th incarnation, the Doctor cut himself some more slack. He was no longer haunted by the fear that he was a killer (though he would later develop the new fear that he turned others into soldiers and killers). He allowed himself to indulge in distractions and simplistic joys of life, such as edible ball bearings and tiny shops. The 9th Doctor had been adamant in not letting people in past a certain point, such as avoiding having dinner and engaging in relaxed conversation with a companion’s family. But the 10th Doctor was far freer with his emotions, actively seeking out new friendships. This led him to become more emotionally vulnerable than many of his previous incarnations, but he saw this vulnerability as a human-like quality that was to be prized. He freely admitted he was lonely and sometimes referred to his centuries-spanning life as a curse. He was not ashamed of any tears he shed and he was always sincere and hurt when he saw that he couldn’t help, often saying, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

“You can spend the rest of your life with me. But I can’t spend the rest of mine with you.” – The 10th Doctor, from “School Reunion”
The 10th Doctor represented perhaps the most human aspect of the Time Lord hero. As such, he had perhaps the most “normal” style of fashion. He usually wore a shirt and tie and one of two suits, a blue one with brown stripes or a brown one with blue stripes. Often he’d wear running shoes and an overcoat to complete the look. This guy doesn’t look like an ancient Time Lord so much as like an eccentric human scientist.

And perhaps that’s what he wanted to be half the time. This was a Doctor who, despite a demand for honesty and facts, enjoyed hiding in self-deception at times. He avoided discussing his past and where he came from more than past incarnations did. He revealed to one companion that he lied about his people and home still being around because it was nicer to pretend it was so. And he one admitted that, like his 5th incarnation, he didn’t actually need the glasses he sometimes donned (which he called his “brainy-specs”), he just wore them sometimes when he wanted to look clever.

With the shoes and hipster glasses, the outfit is serious enough to be professional, but also gives off a sense of whimsy. That’s the 10th Doctor in a nutshell.
Fun Trivia: If you watch the 10th Doctor choosing his look in the TARDIS wardrobe (in “The Christmas Invasion”), you can see elements of clothing belonging to the various Classic Series Doctors in the background.
“You weren’t there, in the final days of the War. You never saw what was born… Not just the Daleks, but the Skaro Degradations, the Horde of Travesties, the Nightmare Child, the Could-Have-Been-King with his army of Meanwhiles and Never-weres. The War turned into Hell!
“… You see now? That’s what they were planning in the final days of the War. I had to stop them!” – The 10th Doctor, from “The End of Time”

11th DOCTOR – YOUNG FACE, ANCIENT SOUL


“All of time and space, everything that ever happened or ever will… Where do you want to start?” – The 11th Doctor, from “The Eleventh Hour”
In his last adventure, the 10th Doctor was forced to directly confront his actions during the Time War. In his 9th and 10th lives, the Doctor often referred to his people as a wise and benevolent race, similar to how some people will focus only on the positive aspects of departed family members. But fans of the Classic Series remembered that many Time Lords were manipulative ego-maniacs, determined to preserve their place of power in the universe and founded by a tyrant named Rassilon who actually kidnapped people from other times and worlds, forcing them into combat and deadly games for his own sick amusement. In his final adventure, the 10th Doctor was forced to confront this dark truth again and realized that if he were forced to live through the Last Great Time War again, his actions would not change. This seemed to bring a new peace and acceptance to his life. This was strengthened when he spent his last hours visiting and checking on every single, living companion that he had traveled with in all his lives and saw that they were, on the whole, people who improved the world rather than create more violence. And he carried this new sense of stability into his next incarnation.

“I don’t look back. I can’t. But the last time I was dying, I looked back on all [my old traveling companions], every single one… And I was so proud.” - The 11th Doctor, from “Death of the Doctor” (The Sarah Jane Adventures)
In his 11th incarnation, the Doctor has gotten over most of his survivor’s guilt and remorse concerning the Last Great Time War. The 9th and 10th incarnations avoided the topic of the war and took several hours or days of prodding before they admitted to their companions that the Time Lords had all been killed in a war But when his companion Amy Pond asked about his people, the 11th Doctor didn’t go into detail but he didn’t avoid the topic either. He simply said that he was the last Time Lord, that the others had died during a “bad day”, and that he would love to forget it but he never, ever did. So he does not indulge in an avoidance of major, uncomfortable truths, as opposed to the 10th incarnation’s spoken attitude that it was nicer to pretend otherwise. Nor is he as emotional when he talks about it. In other words, the Doctor has, in his 11th life, settled back into a persona closer to his classic selves. This makes sense since the new creative/production staff is trying to evoke an atmosphere closer to the Classic Series. And the outfit certainly matches that idea.

“There’s something you better understand about me, ’cause it’s important and one day your life may depend on it… I am definitely a madman with a box!” - The 11th Doctor, from “The Eleventh Hour”
Many of the classic Doctors took on a role of being an older brother and teacher to their traveling companions. The 7th Doctor’s companion Ace even took to calling him “Professor” rather than “Doctor” on many occasions (which irritated him to no end) since he treated her as a student and would often challenge her to figure out what was happening around them rather than giving her the answers about what he had figured out. He often saw their travels together as not merely adventures but a chance to teach these humans about how wonderful and fascinating their universe truly was. The 11th certainly fits into this mold, dressed as if he’s an old-fashioned college professor, insisting that “bow ties are cool” no matter how much others tell him otherwise.
In fact, the 11th Doctor’s persona seems to share a lot with his 2nd and 7th incarnations and his outfit seems to be a combination of those two looks. His sportcoat looks very much like what the 7th Doctor (who acted as a strange, moody teacher to his companion) wore and the bow tie is similar to what the 2nd Doctor (who acted as a lovable uncle and described himself as a “cosmic hobo”) wore throughout his life. Actor Matt Smith has actually admitted that the 2nd Doctor, Patrick Troughton, has been a big influence on his performance.

Just like the 2nd Doctor in his early days, the 11th Doctor also has a growing fascination with hats, adopting a fez in his first year of adventures and grabbing a Stetson in the upcoming sixth season. Time will tell what other headgear he will grab before he regenerates into this 12th form.
Fun Trivia: The 11th Doctor puts together his outfit by stealing clothes from a hospital locker room. This happened before when the 3rd Doctor and the 8th Doctor each needed some new clothes hours after their regeneration.
“There’s one thing you never put in a trap. If you’re smart, if you value your continued existence, if you have any plans about seeing tomorrow, there’s one thing you never, ever put in a trap…
“… ME.” - The 11th Doctor, from ‘The Time of Angels”


And that wraps it up for this look at the new series Doctors. Hope you dug it. Until next time, this is Alan Kistler, Agent of S.T.Y.L.E., signing off!



Alan Kistler writes the comic book history/fashion column Agent of S.T.Y.L.E. He is an actor and freelance writer living in New York who has been recognized by Warner Bros. Films and major media/news outlets as a comic book historian. He is also the creator/host of the web-show “Crazy Sexy Geeks: The Series.” He knows entirely too much about the history of comics, Star Trek, Doctor Who, time travel, and vampires that don’t sparkle.
Alan can be followed via Twitter: @SizzlerKistler. His work can be found at http://KistlerUniverse.com or http://www.youtube.com/user/CrazySexyGeeksSeries
Favorite of the new Doctors (Ninth, Tenth, and Eleventh)? One still likes the Ninth, but is warming to the Eleventh. The New Season of Doctor Who premiers this Saturday on the BBC.

-Lord Malignance