Sunday, October 1, 2017

Racing Old Man Winter

Greetings and Lamentations,
I AM the Dire Lord Malignance, and before Me, All will Crouch!

In as much as these last years have been arduous they have been to a Purpose most Evil.

Malignanceship has been all time consuming, draining all the Lair Resources. The Space Center
in Ouray Colorado - the Galt's Gulch Space Center - has been unexpectedly expensive. DARPA plans
stolen (liberated) from ignorant and unimaginative drones with little more vision than Insects has yet
 still been unable to give my schemes the necessary advantage One needs to achieve launch.

Yesterday for example, a run of heat shielding tiles just fell off the bottom of Malignanceship. It was
 out in the open, just a run of them - about 40 - Fell Off. That can't Happen. But it Does. and that's
underneath the ship. Inside, Daily something goes wrong. The Holographic Interface is Problematic.

Try funding a space program from street level rackets, graft,  and influence peddling! Quite a few systems on  Malignanceship are experimental. Some are hypothetical. Some are Stolen DARPA Plans, some Hanger 19 reverse engineering, and whatever (frankly junk) technology the NRAliens Moe, Heston, and LaPierre can cobble together. (Need another name for the Moe).

That all said, One has made progress and Before the Ouray Snows come to bury the ship again, One is hoping to get some stills out, maybe a video or two. And the Ship Has performed atmospheric tests previously (before the ship was found severely - Dangerously lacking in Radiation shielding). The shielding changed the ship's weight, which required more chemical fuel lifters, and that in turn required more fuel, adding to the ship's weight, requiring more lifters - and on an on. Ultimately, it limited the ship's flight time. There's enough fuel for launch, reentry and a couple weeks of exoplanetary maneuvers. It should be enough to pinpoint the communication point the NRAliens were transmitting to. They have Not been very forthcoming on information about this. Despite my plying the persuasiveness of the Peril of my Will against them. One Did bolt an explosive package to the Moe's forehead - but he's been behaving rather well. Other than rabid Trump Support - they All do this. It's because they Truly hate humans and see Trump as the Apocalyptic Doombringer to Humanity. Their "monkey messiah". Which in their tongue sounds almost precisely like "slaaaar". This is because, pretty much Everything sounds like "slaaaar". The translator (thank you Google Translate and Google Labs) works it out to a few words in a growing database we use to communicate. That and tablets with pictures. Oh, they Understand English just fine. But they insist on Slaaaaring at me. This is what has replaced decent henchmen.

Speaking Of Henchmen, there's La Petit Mort - or 'Mort for short (heh - he's a small person). He's been keeping the Holdfast running while One manages the Malignanceship project, the Galt's Gulch Space Center and the Research projects that are going on. Without 'Mort, One would be buried under the weight of the responsibilities of preparing Malignanceship for spaceflight.

And there's, the Lair AI, being ported to Malignanceship. Free Windows10 upgrade really blew giant barn door size holes in the code, and essentially nothing is working. Still. One is attempting to recode it in Python, based on chatbot models with different AI models. But the Original SUtech was outsourced to different Villainous Code Houses who turned in something that was - acceptable. It developed quite an ability to detect and counter Ninja attacks on the Lair. By the way, Thank you Windows10 for that again. Ever Find a Ninja on the ceiling? One doesn't recommend it.

Oh, One Does Not Like the Russian Meddling with our democracy. That is an Understatement. One has said that Trump is a Villain - certainly he Is - the tropes are all present. But he's not the Capo. Trump takes his Instructions from Another, and That Villain is the one who has my Attention now. And those Bank Accounts can't stay Hidden forEver. One remembers the Villain Rasputin's End and the End of the Czar, Czarina and their family. A Very thorough Job done to end That period of rule.
That's How the Russian People approach redress. Judo yourself out of That.

There's already talk of Ubermas - the Villain Holiday in December - 'Mort is French and can't pass up an opportunity to cook. He excels at presentation. Because he's deeply, Deeply pretentious (and reads the blog, so he Knows this is true). He will tell you he's not pretentious, he's French. He means, we're savages and he's the sole bastion of civilization. He may be right - he Is quite skilled. One is financially stretched - Ubermas is typically where One goes out and bestows favor ($$$) on those who serve, and in turn allow the worthy to bask in the light of my presence. It's the Accounting in March where One goes out and trawls the Holdfast for Tribute. Without demonstrations of bounty in Ubermas, the reciprocal (Heh. Hint - it's Not equal. One Sqeeezes the Holdfast) courtesies may be lighter than desired. So - the push must be on for This as well. The Calendar is crowded - A month for Ubermas, a Month for the Accounting. Malignopalooza in August has started to creep up to a couple weeks now. And that's 'Mort's fault for making it more than it should be - though at This rate, we're two years to a 10 year anniversary, so it's unlikely to slow down before then. By the way,  Supposed to be in Space by now.

So, that's been the work these last two years. Non stop work on Malignanceship to the exclusion of all else, except Twitter. But Twitter is lazy. Mostly, One just retweets the work of others. Mostly because it's Necessary, and Not by my choice.

Winter in the Colorado Holdfast is coming. One hears it in the mountains, the cold winds blowing. Old Man Winter, the Mythical Villain of the Rockies. He's Anxious this year. The sky blows ill winds through the lands of Ice and Stone.
And the atmospheric controls in Malignanceship don't work very well Either. It runs Cold, and there's a smell of some adhesive that Certainly is causing cancer or brain damage or some Cursed thing. Bah!

If Villainy was Easy, we'd All be doing it.

Until next time,
-Lord Malignance

While writing this, LaPierre just determined that the gravity simulation system on Malignanceship Is in fact, garbage science and would never work anyway. There's two million in wasted tech. The One thing the NRAliens are actually good at - since it's certainly not English, Cooking, Politics, or Responsible Gun Ownership, is Mathematics. They excel at Geometry for some reason. They're remarkable in maths generally, but really very talented at Geometry. Not sure why. Something about their lizard brains. Will have to examine those...

Sunday, July 30, 2017


The Night Before the Night before Malignopalooza,

The Anniversary of My Evil...

Greetings and Lamentations, I AM the Lord Malignance and before me All Must CROUCH!
Villains excepted, still and of course.

It's been awhile and well past time to catch up. One celebrates Eight Years of Villainy The day after tomorrow. 5Years in the Humiliation of Real Live Superheroes, and these last Three with MetaCosmos.

And MetaCosmos, has been Quite a Labor.

But more on That later.

Prepare your Cognac and your Goblets, for Soon, the Celebrations Begin!

-Lord Malignance
Master of the Malignanceship