Phantom Zero Interview...

Greetings and Lamentations, I AM Lord Malignance, and you WILL crouch before me now!
(Villains excepted, of course).

If you know only a few things you can count on in this entire WORLD, then one more you may be assured of as fact, is that Lord Malignance hates superheroes. Most especially the hated Arch Nemesis Phantom Zero. To begin todays incoherent screed, one reveals the Shame of the Tangen Project.

The darling of the hero community, the Tangen Project is complicit in concealing dissent, hiding truth, and conspiring to deceive the public by putting forth the foolish idea that so called, "Real Life Super Heroes" are welcomed and universally accepted by a fawning, public too stupid to discern comic book fantasy from sad, sad, reality. See here the truth before their desperately cowardly actions;

and see here, the grotesquely neutered abortion they produced through their perverse fear.


And yet, there's more Phantom Zero beating!
Recently, an interview with one's hated ArchNemesis was conducted by Tea Krulos at his blog Heroes in the Night. You can find the original interview text here, and one will consent to comment now in full response. Reference notes are denoted by Q=Question (by Numeric), P=Paragraph (by Alpha).

Before beginning, to fully appreciate the interview, you first must have a basic appreciation of the Oedipus Complex. The commonly held belief is that this psycological drive is primarily concerned with the taboo about sleeping with your maternal progenitor (mother)- but in fact it is not. It is about replacing the paternal contributor (father). About achieving adulthood, and exceeding the accomplishments of your sire. Why, a wretched giant Belgian albino burdened with the drive to replace the sainted objectification of their father would present with a serviceable gallery of psycological triggers to exploit. Weighty things to ponder indeed. (Interview Q1PE)

Now onto the response!
As to the origin of the pigmently challenged, malanin deficient, pituitary gland handicapped Phantom Zero, he will most often describe his origin in vague terms, and leave to your imaginings all the untold horror, your mind may envision. Some examples and sources (These may be taken out of context, and includes linking for your own evaluations);
"Wounds are all I'm made of.
I'm a relatively normal citizen who wants to increase the amount of good in the world in response to some terrible things I've personally witnessed or learned of."

"I wouldn’t be nearly as empathetic as I am, had I not experienced some pretty dark and low things," he says.(Tangen Project)

"Motivated by suffering he personally experienced, and the suffering of others he has witnessed, he joined the real life superhero community as an unorthodox way of addressing common problems, encouraging people to not be afraid to question or think outside the box."

"I endured and survived a particularly stressful childhood, but managed to come out of it relatively sane and stable. I still carry with me many of the positive things I had to nurture and believe in to get through: a belief that things no matter how hopeless seeming can get better, that you can endure rather than just give up, that you can and will fail--but from that failure still learn, and knowing that life is not worth living unless have the capacity to feel (even if you know that may make you vulnerable, and may get hurt). If anything, the adversity in my life bred adaptability. In particular, it made me profoundly compassionate and doggedly passionate in responding to the injustices and plights of others. It also, for better or worse, it made me different and made me stand out in many ways. I've managed to take inspiration from the source of what many consider negative experiences, and rather than use them as a source of equally negative feelings and emotions, flip their perspective, learn from them, and use them as a source of strength in my life. For example, I wouldn't be nearly as empathetic as I am now had I not personally suffered through or witnessed some horrid things. I'm drawn to help those who are going through traumatic situations because I've been though a few myself.
Ironically, he indicates his childhood made him "different" and made him "stand out in many ways". The gigantism and albinism not being sufficient for this purpose is suggested. His superpower? Empathy. Now cats, dogs, horses, prairie dogs, and mice all demonstrate empathy, and even ants will cart off their injured comrades (to eat). Only a superhero would at once, claim what is evident in all vertibrate life as a "super power", and at the same time, seek to rob the rest of humanity of this quality by elevating it to a special super ability. (Interview Q1PB)

Later on in the interview (Q1PF), as what one suspects must be mescaline kicked in, he admits "Being a "normal" or a "civilian," especially at that time in the development of the community, my access was limited." Since at that time, despite being an alabaster gargantua, he was "normal" - like all the lesser, or average people who don't dress up to fight crime. Those who instead strive daily to make the world a better place to live in for themselves and those close to them - without claiming powers or requiring outlandish costumes. Silly normal people - your lives are so less significant than the Gaudy Carnival troupe of Superheroes.
In Q1PG (Seriously, he does go on. Ask a superhero for their origin, and sit down for a yarn. Villains? Here's the thumbnail origin for oneself: I'm Evil.) he describes the epiphanic moment he discovered his calling. His pledge? THE Phantom Zero pledge? "As there is great evil and injustice in this world, I will counteract it by trying to increase the amount of good". That's it - not trying to change the course of mighty rivers, or win against impossible odds. Just nudge the scales a bit. Justice on the cheap. Needless to say, to fully parody with gleeful malevolence, one should have a similar but reflected motto - however one cannot hold oneself to such paltry goals. Enslave ALL of humanity? Why yes! Rule the very World itself? Of course! Nudge Evil along? Why bother?!
Q1PH After his previous epiphany, and a night of uneasy rest (the drafts in the Tower of Virtue being what they are) the first thing he does, the primary objective to achieve before any others, was to snap pictures of himself and post them on the Internet. Because, being a hero is about celebrity, and you can't prowl the catwalk without publicity.
Moving along to the question "What philosophy do you follow as an RLSH?" (Q3PC) the hated ArchNemesis claims "Real life superheroes exist as a challenge to the apathy, banality, complacency, and mediocrity commonplace in the hum drum status quo of blind, repetitive worker bee every day life. They make people question the reality they live in. By being, they inform and educate individuals as to their own untapped potential in a world of unchecked possibilities." It's got to be mescaline, right? Just hold in your memory his words, and then simultaneously, think of the Real Life Superheroes that you know. Untapped potential and Master Legend? Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha! And remember - if you ARE a hum drum, blind repetitive worker bee - a so called "normal person", you really should take a look at Tothian, and be inspired! More hotsauce - and mescaline.

He ends this question (Q3PD) with a barely concealed plea to Villainy to accept him as our own. In question four, he goes on (most especially in Q4PC) to count the many qualities of Villainy he most admires; our ability to think outside of the tinymindedness "box" that normal people are trapped in, and exceeding the superheroes at taking potshots at their super hero weaknesses. Further on, in paragraph F, he boldly proclaims a side benefit of going hero, was the opportunity to troll for women. Oh he may use the phrase "unexplored continent, plentiful with natural resources" - but we all know what that means.
In question 5 (Q5PA) he ends by confessing, and declares that he questions his own ethics. More over, it is a blatant invitation to question his ethics in future, and the ethics of all "so called super heroes". Is this guilt or shame (or mescaline)?
Nearing the end, in question 6 "What are some highlights as your life as Phantom Zero?", the most hated ArchNemesis recounts either that his successes are "confidences" that may not be revealed (again, a tendency to gloss over facts, and an allowance of imagination to fill in his missing details), or the best excuse ever. His audacious claim is that he effected good in people, by having the little people bathe in the benefit of "just knowing I was there" - like a couch. Or a Tree, or a patch of crabgrass.
He ponders "Just knowing I was there, that I might have made a difference, is the greatest achievment". Then he must be very proud that his appearance was somewhat responsible for ones own. Every act of Evil one produces, is the difference he has made, and is his greatest achievement. Universal forces; action and reaction. Cause and effect. Nature abhors a vacume, and seeks equilibrium. He, by his action, creates the Evil in the world he rails against, and the Evil grows strong and spreads throughout the world. Apathy and Banality for Everyone!
Nearing the end of this screed (for now), in question 7 "When Lord Malignance finally eliminates you effortlessly, how soon will you be forgotten?" (or something like that), in Q7PB he coins the phrase "my mundane identity" for all those times when he descends to the level of puny mortals, and accepts no less than "becoming a more complete, perfect, self-actuallized person" as his long term goal. Well, one supposes there is that. For a hero who's superpower of "empathy" and ability to effect change by "just being there", this goal of growing up is also so very superhero in it's arrogance. As if you are not already perfect in the qualities of being you. Unless... it's not being himself he strives to achieve, but instead, to fulfill the drives of Oedipus.
There is one last delicious weakness he reveals at the end. He's been approached by a number of curious superhero wannabes. He's helping some start on their path to feeble weakness, and flamboyant redundancy. He will be responsible for their failures, as they will make poor children, poor surrogates, for his Oedipal need to be their perfect father.
On lighter news, to follow up on the Tangen Project and their desire to hide their filthy secrets, one found THIS;
All visitors to this website must agree, under penalty of perjury that they are not doing so as a representative of a law-enforcement agency and that they will not use the information contained in this website to pursue criminal or civil legal action against any parties involved with this website in any way whatsoever.
The disclaimer screams "Your law enforcement agencies can't judge superheroes! They're made up of only normal, little people, (like citizens), and can't presume to judge Arch Angles, psychics, super heroes, beer fueled crazies, fantasy Punishers, garage sale Batmen, and mystics. Thank the Superhero Registry for that treasure. 　
　
May all the heroes find their imaginary worthiness tarnished by the knowledge that they are scorned by a society of educated, hopeful, and good people, who don't need so called super heroes telling them how to think and behave,
-Lord Malignance

Oh, and one lied. One more Phantom Zero beating! (Caught you reeling? As planned)



Waiting to see if Instrument of Evil: Codename C.E.L.L.O goes live in 3 days...

What is this one hears about Vampire Minions moving to Juarez Mexico?