Sunday, July 4, 2010

Where in the World is Bob the Minion: Part 2

Greetings and Lamentations, I AM Lord Malignance, and you WILL crouch before me now! (Villains excepted, of course).

After recently having donated the corpse of Bud the Giant Rat to a local college for study, one received a postal letter from Bob, w/a postmark from Mexico. My minion was in Juarez Mexico, and had asked for his rats to be taken to him. Not suprisingly by the way, the border would not let one cross into Mexico with the remaining few, but Bob was able to cross over to El Paso Texas to the hotel and collect them. Mind you, Bob is a homeless man in a black robe who has no ID at all, and manages to cross the border without a seeming problem. Ones influence outside of the Holdfast is remarkably limited.

Anyway, like all of Bob's papers, it had to be burned shortly after receiving it. He draws with a masters hand, and likes to fill the margins of text with pictures of disturbing anatomical accuracy - thus the necessary burning. He wrote of the people and the crime especially, summing it up succinctly as "Nu Law". If you were to hear it, you would think "New Law" - and conclude, he meant "the Law of Los Zetas" the predominant Narco Gang in the country. But no, in Bob's case, "Nu" means "No", as in "No Law".

This leads to an understanding of my minions departure as one found out when meeting Bob in Mexico. Juarez is just over the border of Texas, and IS a dangerous place, like any large city, and is also the most dangerous city in North America. If you don't wander into meeting the wrong people, or into the wrong activities, or wander around in emply places, it can be very dangerous. Fortunately, one did none of these things, and had a relatively worry free visit. One was monitored by either the Federales, a member of the Juarez Cartel, or by a member of Los Zetas. There was no uniform, and it might have been a coincidence. Still, one waited until the restaurant closed, and this person stayed the entire time one did. Bob would show up outside as soon as one exited. Bob had become worried about his becoming too comfortable in one place for too long, and had decided to move on from ones service for his continued safety.

Funny story about Bob: Bob didn't like vegetables or herbs that grew underground. Once one asked him about this, and Bob had replied that "What belong in ground, stay in ground." and then he would make a patting gesture. Which is hilarious coming from Bob. When he would pick up any seeds he saw, he would always bury them on the compound, and this was probably an impetus to his night gardening. Bob ultimately is an alchemical person, living in the technological world. In his mind, everything was made up of fire, air, water, earth, or some combination of these. Seeds were of the ground and belonged in the the ground.

Minions.

Bob let me know that he will remain ones loyal minion, however seeing as how he will be without address, phone, access to a computer, and without money, he probably won't be seen for some time, if ever. Who knows though?

For the record, for even more humor, Bob doesn't speak Spanish either. He speaks a kind of slavic Latin, which has some similarities to Spanish - more than English. For example, Bob says "Da" for "Yes" which is "Si" in Spanish. "Nu" for "No" which is the same in Spanish.

You'll be missed Bob, and one wishes you well in your future. Attempt to control your baser instincts, or you will certainly attract the attention you wish to avoid.
-Lord Malignance

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