Most Evil Sandwich in the World: Cuid Ceathair

Greetings and Lamentations, I AM Lord Malignance and you WILL crouch before me now! (Villains excepted, of course)

Continuing the never ending struggle to enslave all humanity, one searches for the Secrets of The Most Evil Sandwich in the World (MESITW). One recently discovered that the Germans make the best Rye Bread and Sauerkraut, but have little interest in Corned Beef. This led one to search for masters of Corned Beef - the Irish. By happenstance, one celebrates Bloomsday, and had a chance to partake of their Reuben attempt.

What came of this is the realization that while the Irish do indeed master Corned Beef most expertly, they do not have the understanding of the interplay between elements within a Reuben. The "sandwich" was a fist-sized piece of very tasty meat. What else there was, while all present, was tastewise non existant.

One is lost in Ulysses. Everything was going along, and then some transition happened, the characters and setting changed, and now one is trying to figure that out.

While enslaving all humanity with the Most Evil Sandwich in the world is an ongoing scheme, one has found another, perhaps simpler, more elegant tool in which to enslave humanity. The original included below to examine and perhaps to expand upon. Subliminal Messages are not present in this example (as far as you know), but ARE present in most else one unleashes.

Serve Lord Malignance Above All.
Serve Lord Malignance Without Question.
Crouch before Lord Malignance Forevermore.

-Lord Malignance

Luuuuuuthorrrrr!

Greetings and Lamentations, I AM Lord Malignance and you WILL crouch before me now! (Villains excepted, of course)

It appears that that scoundrel Lex Luthor has (yet again) been stealing from Lord Malignance. And this time, to cover up his perfidy, he apparently made it look as if he posted his video first. Time Travel sleight of hand is unbecoming Villains Lex!

"Lex Luthor Bailout" with Jon Hamm from Jon Hamm

Compare instead to the masterful Velvet Intonation of your Lord Malignance;



Villains in the News

Sword Kane needs assistance - anything you may be able to contribute would be welcome. You may paypal him funds at swordkane@yahoo.com. You may alternatively use Walmart "MoneyPak" cards to send him money w/out attaching your bank account.


New Villain Resources!

The Overlord has created from the well of her intellect and creative prowess "Minion Stew". Those few of you not actually crouching before one now, may as well begin crawling before her. At least you will know delicious food while debased.


Lair Goings on;

Ghost of Nixon has found gainful employment, and will be building up his resources.

Bob's Megarat/monster/dog Bud died recently. Over the weekend, it had gotten out of it's cage and had gone into a cats cage and killed and ate part of it. The animal control people were called because the kennel workers were afraid Bud would attack them (he absolutely would). The animal control people were also actually afraid - and they chase bears! So they poisoned him, and then tasered him. Bob will be heartbroken, though he does have the other normal rats to return to.

Problems in the world, where can you look? Why insane Coloradoans are your answer. You have to appreciate the fearlessness to go out into the world without a really solid plan, and attempt that which even governments cannot. His secret weapons? A sword, nightvision goggles, and a pocket full of crazy (sounds terribly like the RLSH, but hey! Doctors claim this guy is crazy).

Ones arsenal of resources continues to grow. The Dobson. The Haggard. The Tancredo. Colorado Psychic. and now, Beard Ninja. If it weren't for California and Florida - who frankly mass produce crazies, one would only have Virginia and South Carolina to contest ones rule. Keep trying Arizona, you've got a long way to go.

One has been scouring Twitter, and has been chasing down leads. Of many, one of the most promising may be Doctor Magnus Von Black. He may also be found here.

The first of many Demonstrations of Power, and a tribute to the Potentate. If you haven't been thinking about serving the Aluminum Chef, you may wish to start.

The momentum propelling the Generation of Villainy continues from Wanted, Watchmen, and now Despicable Me, coming out on July 9th, 2010.

Take it from a Villain - the BP Oil Spill is much worse than it seems, and the inability of all parties to produce reasonable estimates of oil output is disheartening. Independent scientists with these particular skills have been estimating a higher output for weeks, which only now is beginning to be recognized. Oil dispersants and long term effects? The whole disaster is a lab experiment gone wrong.

R.O.A.C.H. celebrated its one year anniversary on May 16th. If you wanted to stop by and wish the Potentate another 99years of world domination, you certainly may. It never hurts to suck up to your future ruler.

-Lord Malignance

Ruthless Recipies of Doom

Truly inspiring talent on display as many in Villainy extend their control of the World, into the kitchen. So that you may know your future rulers have fine tastes in all things, including food, you will find links here to some fine expressions of talent.

The Destructive Kitchen
Aluminum Chef and Fatal Phyllo share knowledge earned.

The Chef's Perfect Steak
The Poachentate




Minion Stew
Behold the inescapable talent of the Overlord. You wouldn't want to escape anyway.

The Pudding of Malignance



Scraps from your masters tables;
You should be so lucky to serve at the tables of your masters.

M.E.S.I.T.W. (Reuben)





And you may crouch.

Last updated 06/16/10

The Challenge of the Perfect Steak

Greetings and Lamentations,

The Aluminum Chef revealed the Secrets of the Chef's Perfect Steak, and one has made the attempt. The results were good, but not yet up to the Chef's standards. One has included this documentation and analysis for review by more talented, and experienced cooks. Please review the recipe at the above link, and join in the examination.

One could not find Thyme in the grocery store to one's liking, it generally being moldy. However, it turns out Bob planted some on the compound. And possibly Wolfsbane.

Added this much Thyme - a few sprigs. The leaf? It may be Oregano of some form. It's velvity, and seems to have some purpose. Taxonomic studies are ongoing.

Fresh Ginger.

Garlic. An inferior garlic press. Eventually one went with throwing the cloves into the bag.

Some crushed garlic, and some garlic cloves.

Saki, and Soy Sauce.

Ribeye Steaks.

200Millileters of Saki, and 120 Millileters of Soy Sauce.

Bagged and kept overnight for marinading purposes.

Ancient Cast Iron pan.

A fine butter.

Lots of butter, applied for the Millard Reaction.

It turns out, the highest temperature the stove will produce, will actually cause butter to ignite and burn like a torch. Flames of about a meter resulted, and devoured the spoon quite quickly.

And smoke. Billowing smoke. If you insure your Lair, and advise your insurance agent that you are a Villain, and generate, study, and weild exotic energies, they will OWN you in insurance. The compromise to paying this fortune, is monitored fire response, AND redundant fire alrarm systems. Both of which went off.

The steaks pre cooking in the oven preheated to 350. Because one lowered the temperature, it may not have produced the required searing. The steaks were cooked in the stove for 25minutes in a preheated oven.

The steak cooked to 130 degrees internal temperature (which one isn't clear on, since the oven was 350...?). The steak appears medium/medium.

1999 Cabernet Sauvignon. With a screw top. Note: Between the Saki and the Wine, you might believe one has a habit of drinking. This is not the case however, as insane megalomaniacs tend not to drink.

Salad, Sardines and Grey Poupon, Asparagus tips in Hollandaise Sauce, and a steak. It turned out the steak was flavorful but on the dry side. This may have been caused by the insufficient searing, the long cook time, the medium/medium choice instead of a medium/rare choice.

Still, very tasty, and the best steak one has yet produced.

Side note; Bob would only use candles around at night. (Tell your insurance agent you have a clumsy night dweller creeping around with candles...). Because he remembers making candles, and such candles drip, he will only purchase tapers with a particular quality. This quality also has the messy melting problem.

-Lord Malignance

ArchNemesisssss!

Greetings and Lamentations,

So one lurks across the Internet always looking for new research and breakthroughs in technologies one wishes to exploit, on mischief and the activities of my ArchNemesis, and finds this article. With selected images and comments below.

Because in New York, a Metal Skull Pirate in a Lavender Bathrobe is de rigueur. What is that? A Skull Fancy Walking stick?!

Sometimes, when you're abnormally tall, three belts are not enough. Four will do it. And there's that walking stick again! Is there a Skull Goblet that he carries around when strolling?

My ArchNemesis: Ladies man. Fancy Dresser. Walking his streets, with his lady and his Skull Fancy Walking Stick.

Lex Luthor isn't the greatest Villain because he has the best abilities. He's at various times been smart, really smart, ruthless, rich and not smart, the president, and various other things, but always bald*. If you had to list one consistent thing about Luthor over the many years, it would be his baldness. Which some might call a setback, but he uses it to his strength. So why IS Lex Luthor the greatest Villain? It's because his ArchNemesis is the greatest hero.

It's a phrase one calls "Punching Up". You don't choose to be known as challenging less than you are, you choose to fight those of almost equal ability. The victories are sweeter, the setbacks overlooked. Who wants to see Superman fight Terra Man? It's Luthor you know that will put his ArchNemesis in greatest peril.

So what is my ArchNemesis doing? How does he shape the world with his goodness, and challenge his ArchNemesis to overcome his efforts?

Apparently enjoying a happy life with friends he cares about, in one of the greatest cities in the world.

One hates you ArchNemesis.

-Lord Malignance

No comment. One leaves this picture to the expertise of our more talented posters. One points out though, that with New York heoric competition like these two, my ArchNemesis is looking pretty good.

* Purists will note that in his first appearance he was not bald. And there was that time he cloned himself and posed as his illigitimate Australian son...

Devices, fabricated whole cloth from the mind of Lord Malignance

Placeholder for future work.

So, the heroes have their gadgeteers do they? Frauds and charlatans.

(It's workbench Porn for makers.)