As an emerging Metavillain, Lord Malignance struggles to build and maintain a top flight malevolent organization in the years following the NeoCon failure to enslave America. Comedy ensues.
Trick Argument: Superheroes are Always Bad for Any City.
"Beware the beast Superheroes, for they are the Devil's pawns. Alone among God's primates, they embarrass themselves for sport or lust or greed. Yea, they will humiliate their brothers to possess their brother's reputation. Let them not breed in great numbers, for they will make a desert of their home and yours. Shun them; drive them back into their parents basement, for they are the harbinger of greater societal stupidity".
Mark Millar and John Romita Jr. asked a simple question in their 2008 comic book (and 2010 movie) Kick-Ass: Why don’t fanboys actually suit up and try their hand at being superheroes? As it turns out, a bunch of fanboys are in fact suiting up. Hundreds of them. Face front, true believer.
Cosplay is nothing new. Its variant, Real Life Superheroes, are somewhat next-level. Check out TheRLSH.net, a message board where aspiring supes — costumed adventurers who describe themselves as doing “humanitarian work” or otherwise generically helping those in distress — can discuss tradecraft, assemble into makeshift Avengers and escalate misunderstandings into internet brawls ahead of the inevitable team-up.
Seriously. On this thread, for instance, a crimefighter called the Dark Ghost rallied his fellow champions of the innocent to find a seven-month old baby kidnapped in Tennessee. Amazonia, the Minuteman, Gadgetastic and the Sparrow pledged support. (As it turned out, the vigilante community didn’t need to get involved, as law enforcement found young Drake Boyd’s abductor in Florida.)
Now, obviously these dudes don’t have superpowers. But come on — neither does Batman. So like Batman, what they lack in meta-human ability, they make up for in weaponry.
Take, for instance, a Brooklyn team called the New York Initiative, profiled this week in New York Press. The four members of the Initiative –a reference to Tony Stark’s post-Civil War, pre-Secret Invasion efforts to put a superhero squad in each of the 50 states? — act like bodybuilders with a purpose. And then they pack (non-lethal) heat.
Initiative member Z brandishes “giant ax handles bound with duck tape” and a cane that doubles as a club. He’s also got — in reserve — a legally dubious arsenal that includes ninja throwing stars and what author Tea Krulos describes as “stun knuckles (that make a loud zapping sound), throwing knives and spiky hand guards that look like something Genghis Khan would brawl in.” A battle ax appears to be merely for display.
The team’s gadget whiz, who goes by the unfortunate name Victim, is testing out some polycarbonate squares for durability against knives. Because being a hero means you’re going to get stabbed.
Factoring out the body armor, it appears to be a fairly cost-effective approach to adventuring. Take Z’s stun knuckles. Zapping someone with 950,000 volts in the course of a single punch should run you around $50.
Plus, that is, whatever legal costs you incur after your supervillain sues you. Chances are your local municipality doesn’t look kindly on vigilantism, and less so on vigilantism armed with zappers. What’s more, courts haven’t been so keen on police use of non-lethal weapons like Tasers, and you’re sure not an officer of the law.
Speaking of the cops: According to Krulos’s piece, when the New York Initiative asks the police if they can set up a patrol by downtown Brooklyn’s Fulton Mall, a member of New York’s finest tells them, “Naw, fuhgetabout that. You’ll get shot. The guys in this neighborhood, they’ll shoot you and no one will tell us who did it. There’s a strong ‘no snitching’ rule out here.” We know that in the comics as honor among thieves.
So, be careful out there, champions of right: Come strapped and stay on the right side of the law.
Spencer Ackerman is Danger Room's senior reporter, based out of Washington, D.C., covering weapons of doom and the strategies they're used to implement.
Follow @attackerman and @dangerroom on Twitter.
Some chestnuts from the piece; It's never questioned that so called "real life" superheroes are vigilantes. It's just assumed by the way superheroes represent themselves. With weapons and Batman talk of punishing people they think might be guilty. And what weapons! Described as witnessed; Beating sticks, Stun weapons (who would want to beat someone who can defend themselves?), Ninja Throwing Stars (known for their lack of accuracy and potential lethality) and a battle axe (A Battle Axe!) that is assumed to be for alone superhero pretend time. Or you know, Barbarian killing innocent villagers "pretend" time. It's hard to tell with superheroes. Are they pretend Batmen? If they are, and they seem to believe that that is reasonable, then are they pretend Barbarians with Battle Axes also? Or with guns? Slippery slope One knows, but there's the Battle Axe in national news.
Tea Krulos covered this also at his blog "Heroes in the Night" on July 17th, 2011(Post Publish Edit: Should read as 2010). One is always late to these stories. It IS still a good story though. Tea points out that he himself didn't mention Ninja Throwing Stars were used by the New York Reavers Initiative and points out links to a poll he had asked the heroes to vote on here (results) and the poll (his question) here. A common mistake due to the sharp stabbies, beating sticks and various home made weapons of pain, torture and death the superheroes of the New York Reavers are intimidating citizens with. Maybe the wired author did have some knowledge of throwing stars? There's been no retraction, so One imagines the author, his editor, and the reputation of Wired magazine stand by their story. Yes, with the New York Reavers wandering around, no one is really safe. Except the criminals. Because they're armed and won't hesitate to defend themselves. With guns. In the direction of the superheroes. And any innocent bystanders behind them.
Blog topic regular, and fay elfin creature David Tennant to star in the remake of Fright Night. And from some reviewers, David will be the Breakout Star from the adventure;
David Tennant Will Be the Breakout from 'Fright Night’
Apart from a pint-sized but pivotal role as Barty Crouch Jr. in 2005’s Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and some voice work for How to Train Your Dragon, the upcoming remake of the 1985 vampire romp Fright Night marks Scottish actor David Tennant’s first major foray into Hollywood. For his portrayal of the tormented Time Lord with the fantastic hair, Tennant earned heaps of critical praise and a legion of adoring British and Anglophile fans. But it’s reasonable to presume that still much of America remains unsubscribed to BBC America programming, and thus has no bleeding idea who Tennant is. Such would probably be the explanation provided by the Fright Night marketing department if questioned about the near-absence of Tennant from the recently released trailer. Blink and you’ll miss him in just one shot. Are they just saving the goods for later?
Scripted by Buffy the Vampire Slayer writer’s room alum Marti Noxon, and with evident departures from the original, Fright Night pits nice-guy teenager Charlie (Anton Yelchin) against new next-door-neighbor Colin Farrell (aka Jerry the Vampire) after Charlie connects his neighbor to a series of missing persons reports. Tennant later enters the fray as Peter Vincent (a role originated by Roddy McDowall), playing a leather-and-eyeliner Vegas magician modeled after Criss Angel whom Charlie seeks vampire-staking help from after Jerry sets his sights on Charlie’s mother (Toni Collette) and girlfriend (Imogen Poots).
The trailer is all Colin Farrell, all the time. And that’s okay. Here he seems perfectly cast as the fanged antagonist with slithering sexuality and subsurface malice. The Farrell of late appears more focused on his craft, with a comedic turn in the upcoming Horrible Bosses, and well received character acting in such films as In Bruges and Crazy Heart compensating for the gum-chewing Hollywood bad-boy baloney he cultivated for a time between SWAT and Alexander. And while newcomer Anton Yelchin has scored roles in some prominent films the last couple years, Fright Night looks to be the memorable movie of the bunch to raise him out of supporting casts.
But let’s be frank: The real breakout of this flick will be David Tennant, likely the biggest scene-stealer and wit of the cast whose appeal as both a charming ham and keen dramatic actor will be on full display.
Shameless Screen Grab for the article appearing below One's text above courtesy of PopMatters
There must be Opera somewhere? Here's a comparative analysis; One vs The Other. (The first is clearly better)
Finding a combination of Voice and Tennant? Can it be done? For a Villain, but of course;
More Regenerations?
Fan made never before seen McGann to Eccleston Regeneration;
Favorite Regeneration?
And THE Regeneration to which all regenerations are compared;
Regeneration videos courtesy of Youtube at their individual locations.
Feeling down? Time to change: New Hair, New Clothes, and a New Outlook. It IS a great time to be alive and to be Evil.
As a practicing MetaVillain and Insane Madman bent on Ruling the very World itself, and the Enslavement of all Mankind, One will from time to time, wander into some sources of information. One wanted to share some of them here. They're fun and worth a look, even if you'll never look at them again.
High IQ Societies.
Really smart people (look at the ranges) but any plans to Rule the World? No. Why IS that?
Cerebrals Society
Making Smart Sexy
Their Mostly Open Board, if you want to lurk and see what they're talking about.
*Disclaimer: One is not worthy of being a member. That doesn't mean they don't have ideas to steal. You can't Own SCIENCE !
While wandering around, One stumbled into the INTP Forum, and didn't understand the Acronym. That led to Socionics which is described as; "The central idea of socionics is that information is intuitively divisible into eight categories, called information aspects or information elements, which a person's psyche processes using eight psychological functions. Each sociotype has a different correspondence between functions and information elements, which results in different ways of perceiving, processing, and producing information. This in turn results in distinct thinking patterns, values, and responses to arguments, all of which are encompassed within socionic type. Socionics' theory of intertype relations is based on the interaction of these functions between types." (Attribution to Wikipedia)
Where are Villains in this? Bah! (INTP probably really IS a Villain hatching ground though)
Something fun and inspiring to get your Evil going;
Conan Addresses the Dartmouth Graduating Class of 2011
Poor pitiful fools the superheroes are. If only real life wouldn't keep intruding on their fantasy lives of dress up playtime crusaders, they could wile away their indolent lives "looking for crimes to solve". Or whatever crazy reason they make up for their unwarranted oppression of free citizens. Anything to keep them away from their responsibilities to get a job, work at their job, earn a living to take care of themselves and their families, or spend time with those families.
Superheroes! Tell yourself you're not acting crazy. That normal people also run around dressed up as comic book characters. That only you can solve crimes law enforcement ( well trained Police, FBI, Detectives, Forensics Labs using millions of dollars worth of state-of-the-art technologies, etc) can't solve. That your "powers" (read: excuse for never having put in the time to be qualified for law enforcement or detective, or Science work of any kind) allow you to see facts and details no one else can. That you just "feel" injustice more than normal people.
It's no wonder everyone worries about superheroes. They're CRAZY!
Science is a Dick: The 5 Most Evil Robots Ever Invented
Since Czech writer Karel Capek popularized the concept in 1921, humanity has had a charming and amiable relationship with the robot. We saw a future where helpful robots would do all the menial tasks humans would rather avoid. The only problem? Some people are just dicks, and they can build robots too.
#5.
Bum Bot
What the Hell is That Thing?
Designed by bar owner Rufus Terrill, the Bum Bot was built to shoo transients and drug addicts off his property without exposing himself to danger. Terill was deeply concerned about the plight of his degenerating neighborhood, so he decided that the most logical idea was to slap some steel, plywood, old gym mats, a meat smoker, a walkie-talkie and spare parts from a 1997 Chevrolet into a fighting street robot--a feat of technological improvisation so ingenious that it makes MacGyver seem like an Amish stroke victim by comparison.
Though why such a creative inventor went with a dull name like the Bum Bot is beyond us. Why not load it with Peter Weller quotes and call it Hobocop? And that's just off the top of our heads!
Why It's a Dick Move
If you need it explained to you that inventing robots to harass transients is a dick move, you're probably strangling a drifter for cheap kicks as you read this. So, first off, way to multi-task!
Secondly, the field of terrorizing bums just does not need technological advancements. Winter and feral dogs have that shit pretty much covered. So if you're the kind of guy that sinks enough money and time into manufacturing a robot that fucks with hobos, smart odds are that you probably find fucking with hobos enjoyable.
We note that Terrill also mounted a camera on the robot, and streams video of its bum-fighting antics to the high definition television back in his bar. This is ostensibly to monitor its actions for safety reasons, but you can't help but to wonder if it's also so his patrons can laugh at the dramatically uneven bout between an armed robot and a drunken hobo.
#4.
Robokiyu, Corpse-Eating Robot
What the Hell is That Thing?
Meet Robokiyu, a rescue robot commissioned by the Tokyo Fire Department. Robokiyu is meant to take over the dangerous task of rescuing people asphyxiated by smoke inhalation inside burning buildings. Japan's thinking, as always, is that if something's worth doing, it's worth building a giant, dangerous, steel automaton with hooked claws to do it instead (though made less intimidating by designing it to look like a retarded Transformer celebrating a touchdown).
Why It's a Dick Move
Well, officials were so impressed with Robokiyu's versatility in the many tests it's performed so far that they've branched it out into several other fields ... including corpse removal.
Now, handling the dead is a fairly tricky situation. Corpses need to be moved, handled, processed and disposed of. There's no arguing that, but seeing deceased loved ones taken away is an emotionally wrenching process. Often coroners have to walk the line between doing their job well, and treating the deceased with dignity and respect.
We can't imagine it helps the grieving process if, after finding your father collapsed on the floor, Emergency Service Workers arrive and send a perky little robot into your house to drag his corpse into its mouth. Try explaining to your already traumatized kids that death is a natural part of life while a giant Tonka truck is eating their grandpa in the living room.
Wait, it gets worse. They've also given it the job of moving the "dormant" peoples of Tokyo to safer locations. Dormant sounds like a nice, politically correct way of saying "passed out drunk," or maybe just "homeless."
If you need any more convincing that this robot is a dick, try drinking a few bottles of scotch next time you're in Shinjuku and then--after waking up in a cramped, cold, pitch-black robot stomach filled with corpses--you can get back to us about our "ridiculous fears of robot domination."
#3.
Intelligent Surveillance & Security Guard Robot of Death
What the Hell is That Thing?
This is the Intelligent Surveillance & Security Guard Robot, an armed sentry 'bot by the Techwin division of Samsung. It was originally funded by the government of South Korea to guard the North Korean border, but it's now on sale to the general public at $200,000 a pop. That's a price that pretty much limits the market to rich, bored, thrill-seeking eccentrics, the exact demographic you want buying deadly military hardware.
The Guard is equipped with ultra-high definition cameras, infrared lenses, image/voice recognition software ... and a swivel-mounted K-3 machine gun. The robot can recognize and target intruders from over two miles away day or night, and can be programmed to either fire on unauthorized intruders perceived as threats, to require a password and only use deadly force if the incorrect answer is given, or possibly just to murder drifters going for the baited malt liquor you left in the alley behind your loft.
Why It's a Dick Move
The Guard is not remote controlled, it's fully automated, and while that's a neat technological feat--one that's increasingly sought after in our cute robot dogs and sex-bots--perhaps it shouldn't be handed over to death-dealing sniper bots.
Now that we think about it, wasn't there another robot back in the 1980s that was designed to serve these precise functions. It monitored the premises for intruders, recognized threats independently, used lethal force if the target didn't verbally comply--what was that called? Oh yeah, our good friend the ED-209.
As hard as we are on the ED-209, its performance was mostly positive, with only a 50 percent failure rate that turned human beings into meat pudding.
But of course, the ED-209 was a fictional villain, and we're sure the kind and responsible designers at Samsung would be very careful to avoid any and all similarities to a robot mostly famous for its tendency to murder everybody in the room when its recognition software fails, right?
Which brings up another sticking point, if there's one thing you really don't want your life depending on, it's the success rate of current generation voice recognition software. Although it can be argued that some of the most advanced software in this field is now rather successfully in use all across the board--from GPS systems to customer service phone lines--the main difference here is that when you try to pay your cellphone bill and the automated system says "I'm sorry, I didn't get that. Could you repeat it?" It doesn't shoot your body into salsa.
The Cockroach Controlled Mobile Robot, or Cockbot as we'll refer to it from now on, is a moving mechanical platform controlled by a Giant Madagascar Hissing Cockroach.
The roach is strapped to a trackball that translates its movements to the servos below, and surveys its surrounding environment by virtue of an array of flashing control panels and motion sensors. The cockroach naturally prefers dark places, but shies away from light, so when part of the machine nears an object, the corresponding panel lights up and causes the roach to move away thus enabling it to navigate around objects from its elevated position.
Essentially, it's Roach Virtual Reality. Feel free to ask science why cockroaches get implementable VR before we do, although we're fairly confident we can guess the answer: Science just fucking hates you so much, sometimes it's like a fire in science's heart.
Why It's a Dick Move
One of the most common phobias of modern man is the fear of insects. The only mitigating factor of that fear is the relatively insignificant size and power of most insects--a factor the Cockbot aims to fix.
Not only does the robot sport one of the largest insects in the world, but also one of the most horrifying. The Giant Madagascar Hissing Cockroach, as one may rightfully assume, emits a loud, high-pitched hiss when threatened or angry. This is enough to give most people pause on its own merits. Equip said giant, hissing roach with a mechanical battle-suit and, rational or not, the fear-center of the human brain simply shuts down all higher thought and acts on panicked instinct.
This is plainly illustrated by the above photo, wherein a terrified businessman attempts to sacrifice his baby to feed the insatiable hunger of the insectile machine. Sure, no actual, literal harm befell the child--the attacking force of the Cockbot is limited to perhaps a sharp crack to the shin at best--but the man must now forever live with the shame of what he was prepared to do.
Evolution, by and large, knows what it's doing. By equipping the cockroach with what amounts to an armored attack platform, you're upping the ante by leaps and bounds. It poses no threat to humans--yet--but this device does place it firmly above other insects and some smaller mammals.
The creator says the roach has already developed a penchant for dog food. When will it realize it can scare dogs away from said food? The inventor goes on to say that it prefers the beef flavor. How long until it realizes fresh beef tastes better? The developer says the roach has also taken to the taste of baby food. We're not certain, but we're pretty sure that thing can take a baby in a fight. What if it does? What kind of dickhead wants this--a baby-fighting cockroach mech--to be possible? Why up the food chain status of a terrifying, hissing insect if not out of pure, simple spite of your fellow man? We don't know the answers to these questions, but we know who does. You can ask her yourself later tonight. In your bedroom. Just listen for the beeping. And the hissing. In the dark.
She likes the dark, you know.
#1.
The Breast Massager Robot
What the Hell is That Thing?
The Breast Massager Robot is meant to finally replace the need for human labor in the stark, hellish field of boob fondling. No more tragic groping fatalities--the breast-massaging robot is here!
The robot is meant to help stimulate breast growth in developing teenagers, relieve pain from sore pectoral muscles, and generally to relax stressed-out tits. The inventor also states that the breast massaging robot will help to "improve the quality of women's sex activities," a statement which makes fucking sound more like sex-bingo and genital arts and crafts. Finally, the robot proposes to assist "women who want pretty breasts." The logic being that if boobs are attractive, boobs with robots attached would be like sexual chocolate dynamite.
Why It's a Dick Move
If you thought it was bad losing production and assembly jobs to robots, wait until second base is outsourced to the machines. The idea that constant breast massaging stimulates growth in teenage girls is a brilliant falsehood to spread, and one we would've given anything to have thought of back in those lonely summer camp days. Unfortunately the progenitor of this beautiful, beautiful lie also has a fictional solution--one that takes that breast of hope directly out of the awkward, desperate grip of the horny teenagers it benefits--and replaces it instead with a steel bra welded to some car wash fronds and model train motors.
If the robot was designed for complete sexual gratification, that would be one thing--that's just another sex toy. But the robot is designed only to take boobs away from men and hand them over to science.
We suppose science can use all the breasts it can get, but really, does science have to be such a dick about it? This is no more than pure, old school cock-blocking, and that's the biggest dick move of all.
