First Annual Lord Malignance Holiday Challenge!

Greetings,

We Villains, plotting from our hidden lairs across the world, have taken these recent moments from our activities, to notice that the infestation of heroes continues unabated. We ask ourselves, “If one were to put a cape on a mailbox, would it not also be a superhero?” The question on how to eliminate the curse of heroes does indeed vex us. Don’t they even have the common sense necessary to give up in the face of such mighty villainy?!

To this end, and continuing ones current scheme “the Reign of Malignance”, a proposal is made. This will be the First Annual Lord Malignance Holiday Challenge, and the rules are Evil.

1) This is a challenge for Ideas Only. There are no good ideas, or bad ideas, only Evil ideas. No activities are required.

2) The conception is; “What can Citizens do by themselves or in groups, which is better than putting on a mask and patrolling?"

Patrolling being defined as;

a) Handing out sandwiches. Not taking away from sandwiches –if you’re hungry that sandwich is GOLD, but then the next day it is gone.

b) Sneaking around in alleys, flamboyantly attired, looking to snitch on high school kids drinking beer.

c) Posting in a blog, myspace, RLSH forum, on your exploits fighting and defeating the Yakuza, Ninjas, Street Gangs, Corrupt Cops, Evil Spirits, ghosts/werewolves/vampires/demons, etc, all the while giving sandwiches to creepy dudes, who worship you from at your feet.

3) It must be applicable to your local city or town, or applicable to all cities and towns. While solving world hunger could be tackled, the logistics would be significant. We’ll start small for this exercise.

4) It should be easy to do, cost little or no money, and not be a path to martyrdom.

5) No costumes, by either heroes or villains. This is a platform to ennoble the citizen, the everyday man, woman, child, and scarred monstrosity hiding in the shadows and only coming out at night, having been driven insane and living on candybars.

Post your ideas in comments, and they’ll be added to the Poll (replacing the current defaults), which will run until January 15th, 2010. The idea with the most votes wins. You may of course cheat, for it is expected. Cheat with Élan, and Style, as only Villains can.

Some ideas to get the imagination started;

1) Clean out your kitchen shelves every new year, and take your old food to the – food shelter? What is that place called, where food is collected and then distributed to those who need?

2) Participate in a Meals-On-Wheels program.

3) Collect some local phone numbers/addresses and best practices information for neighborhood watch programs. Laminate them, and ask your local super market if you can hand them out, or leave a stack of them in the window.

4) Go out and meet and get to know your neighbors. Talk to them about concerns in your community. Try to find the elderly and help them in what ways you can.

5) If you know any returning soldiers, take a moment and genuinely thank them for their service. If you don’t know a soldier, find one (they’re everywhere).

6) Vote. Often, and as a privilege of citizenship. Help others vote, who may not want to, care to, or be able to get to a polling station.

7) If you are a pet owner, be a good pet owner. Spay or Neuter your pet, take your pet to the vet for checkups, and clean up after your pet when visiting public spaces.

8) Quit smoking if you smoke. It will be hard, don’t kid yourself. People do this all the time however, and it can be done. Help someone else quit if you can.

9) Support a local project for the improvement of your city. Whatever it is, just for the hell of it. You might discover you have a passion for it.

10) Recycle. Recycle something. The more the better. If you can’t, try to create less waste. (Exceptions are Nuclear, or Strange Energy. Villains have got to Live after all.)


The Prize? Recognition by your Villainous Peers as Villain among Villains, posting at the top of the Villain List on this Blog, accolades from Villainy, and fear from the weaklings of good.

One awaits your participation in this great experiment,
-Lord Malignance