Greetings,
Lord Malignance as a Malevolent Organization, is running smoothly, but has fallen behind in meeting productivity projections. Some projects that are in works;
Potentate’s Plan:
From Concept, through development, reviewed and improved by Villainy, and submitted to the Potentate and then to Pepsi.
Marketing Platform – garner support for strategem.
Henchmen and Minion work:
Nixon - returns to California. The DMZ comes down at last!
Nixon – update the Forum at least.
Nixon – freer hand to go mano-a-mano with other henchmen.
Bob - envoy to ROACH, and understanding and application of diplomacy.
Bob - going on vacation –where, and does one want to know? Since he has no drivers license (or any other papers for that matter) how will he travel? Only Bob knows.
Comrade Cocoa – new exercise regimen.
Comrade Cocoa – Maoist Persecution of Bourgeoisie Cats continues.
Work on the horizon:
Two new youtube submissions
The Accounting: Each annum, one travels the state, and reviews the Holdfast. One claims the dominion of Colorado, and so that my Evil may not be challenged, one seeks out variables to my rule, and endeavors to better understand these and to subjugate them to my implacable will.
Considerations this year include, but are not limited to;
The growing homeless issue, and refugee camps setup along rivers.
Declining Education: Graduation Rates are falling. Currently only 73.9% of students graduate from High School, a drop from 80.9% in 2000.
Coarsening of Culture. On review, though courtesy is lacking and may be trending downward, Colorado has many fine arts establishments, fine dining, a wine industry, fine music, and diversity of expression. Win for Colorado!
Colorado State and indebtedness. Colorado as a State appears to managing the World Economic conditions as well as can be wished. My regards to Cary Kennedy, Colorado State Treasurer.
Water squabbles
The Annual Forrest Fires
Developing Traffic growth considerations
The growing Superhero Menace: Zen Blade, WallCreeper
Clean Air
Clean water
Illegal Drug Traffic
Growth and spread of Meth Labs
Colorado Slackers, Parkour, and Ninjas
Military Expansion
Tourism, state economy, and demographics.
Kansasans who drive too slow
Christian Taliban
Firearm laws and gun proliferation, answering the question: Can I legally possess a machine gun in Colorado? (Conditional yes)
Unemployment: Currently 7.3%
Tom Tancredo
Technology Sector and its future
Why are there no bronze statues of Lord Malignance for the citizenry to worship?
Farming (Coloradoans farm)
Cattle Industry
Wyoming and their bushwhacking Land Pirates
Military Family Issues
West Nile Virus, H1N1 “Swine Flu”, and Broncomania
A whole lot of police and still a whole lot of crime. Considering on average everyone owns at least one gun, why is that? You can’t actually find information on this, because most Coloradoans hoard a secret armory, prepared for “The End of the World” and the Cannibal Empire that will flourish soon after.
Tea Party Gangs of Old White People who want to overthrow the government and setup their own junta. Not while I rule Colorado!
Hippies. It’s always hippies.
Gangs and MS13
Bursting incarcerated criminal roles in prisons. Little known fact: Colorado’s prisons are a growth industry, and revenue stream for the state.
Old Man Winter (Hint: Global Climate Change is like weather viagra)
Smoking, Cancer rates, and diagnosis clustering in populations, and Radon. Colorado has plenty of Radon. Radon to spare.
Walmart Fashion shows. Please – if you go shopping, dress as if you would be seen by others.
Native American issues. History tells us the Kiowa, Southern Ute, Moutain Ute, Arapaho and Jicarilla tribes, and others walked the land that is now Colorado. Today, from what one gathers, the Southern Ute Tribe, and the Ute Mountain Tribe are recognized by the Colorado government. Apologies to any offended if I am mistaken.
Silver Miners, claim jumping, cattle rustling, saloon brawls, and the plight of the Cowboy.
The Phoebus Cartel, which as everyone knows, is located under the Denver International Airport, along with other secret organizations.
The Mayor of Denver, John W. Hickenlooper (D)
The Governor, Bill Ritter (D)
Senators Michael F. Bennet (D), and Mark Udall (D).
Mass Transit.
Government Bailouts. How can Colorado get MORE of that moneylicious bounty.
Recycling and conservation programs.
Landowner rights issues (this is big in Colorado).
Shale. It’s natures concrete if you have it in your backyard. Colorado has it, and nobody wants it. Can you pull oil out of it at reasonable cost?
Alternative energy concerns. Where is geothermal technology and solar in my state? Wind? What are the self sustainable energy futures of Colorado?
NIST – the National Institute of Standards and Technology
NOAA – National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration
NORAD – North American Aerospace Defense Command
Aerospace and Military contractors and solutions providers.
Robotics
Population growth, and diversity.
Traveling Carnivals, and the carnies that habituate them descending on small hamlets and wreaking their fairway evil. Shilling the rubes, and not a penny kickback to Lord Malignance…
Biotech research companies.
So, ones work is to be determined. If Evil were easy, everyone would be doing it. And you Carnies, start thinking about throwing some “Scratch” towards Lord Malignance.
Running a Malevolent Empire is not just work, it's a responsibility,
-Lord Malignance
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