Busy, Busy, Busy...

Greetings and Lamentations, I AM Lord Malignance, and you WILL crouch before me now! (Villains excepted, of course)

So much work is going on these days! Everyone is working hard, and new developments are appearing everywhere. So much so on ones own side, that correspondence has fallen behind. Apologies to Villains, and sneering contempt to heroes. Extended with sincerity to both.

Some "Adventures in Evil" (copyright Malignance, LLC) this week;

The exceptional Villain Master Calamity may be leaving for more mysterious pursuits. One wishes him success, and out of respect for his wish to remain unknowable, has removed him from the listings of Villains. The Master Calamity Holiday Challenge will still continue on Halloween though, as a tribute to his contributions. Remember though: Whatever you think you might know about him, may not be true. He might just be any number of other Villains, heroes, people that you know, or people that you don't. He could be anyone, or no one, a mystery as he has always been. Good Form (and of course, by "good" one means "Evil").

Preparing to attempt the Aluminum Chef's Perfect Steak Formula again this weekend(time allowing). This time, Success!

The Overlord is preparing a new website that will undoubtably shine like a Dark Star. Prepare to be awed. One would absolutely add one of your sinister buttons to "Embrace the Malignance" but can't figure out how to add the malevolent things.

To the Patrons of the Arts; One yells at the camera, because one yells at people. One will endeavor to reduce the crazy somewhat. Being an insane megalomaniac powered by candy bars will produce certain difficulties with conversational moderation.

Adding the music and audience track to the Instrument of Evil "Codename:Cello".

If you haven't checked your email for an enterprising invitation from Computer King, please do. One will be awaiting your participation in this great advance.

The Villain Sword Kane could still use a bit of assistance, if you can find it in your dark, shriveled, simulacrum of hearts. You may send what you may through Paypal to his email at swordkane@yahoo.com

The hero (boo, hiss) Crossfire the Crusader, a respected personage who defeated Villainy (Once!) has a worthy cause you may also be interested in. You can find the details on his page.

If Tea Krulos is correct, those bounders the RLSH (boo, hiss, "yo mama") might be showing up on 20/20 sometime in the next week or so. You may absolutely count on one to be screaming at the television should this come to pass.

Lab Failures;

Helmet is awful. Back to the drawing (literally) board.

Omega Weed (Codename: Triffid): Colorado based flora resistant to Round Up, is a failure. Small doses don't seem to produce greater tolerance, they just build toxicity, which eventually results in biological crash. Spectacular crash w/no observable chance to recover.

Locust Control using ultrasonics failed, because the recent wet/cold period has retarded the life cycle of these native insects. One blames Doctor Overkill for this.

Wars with other States, contesting the Mightiness of my Colorado Holdfast: Virginia, one accepts your Cantor gambit, and raises you "Colorado Psychic". Take that you amateures. And one still has the Dobson, if you even THINK of trying to out crazy ones Holdfast. The Tancredo remains in reserve just in case. A pyrrhic victory, for if you unleash the Dobson, everyone loses.

Lair Goings On

My missing Minion Bob's pet rat/dog/nightmare has bitten two kennel workers, one severly. Still no sign of Bob, who by now must have travelled some distance - even though he has no identification, money, or command of the English language.

Ghost of Nixon is still working on aquiring gainful employment in California. So far, nothing too attractive has caught his eye, but he is working (harder than he ever worked for ME) at it, and should have good (Evil) news to report in the future. Until such time, his activities have been diminished.

Comrade Cocoa has been practicing taking on his ArchNemesis Minuteman by wrestling with his toys. Warning for Minuteman: The henchdog's Finishing Move is Communist Love. One will go no further into description, for gentlemen do not speak of such things.

Two, TWO huge yard bags of Shredded materials have been produced this week. Both shredders going at the same time. The little one "Daisy" and the larger industrial wood chipper "Mongo" have been working at a furious pace. Everything one touches produces paper records! Even Safeway.

Back to work, and one wishes you success in all your endeavors,

-Lord Malignance
More Shredding!