Invisible Colorado Ninja Empire

Greetings and Lamentations, I AM Lord Malignance, and you WILL crouch before me now! (Villains excepted, of course).

One has spoken previously about the Ninja Industry in ones Colorado Holdfast, and as this is such an important component in the work Evil does, it does regularly require care and attention to support. Evil Masterminds from across the world, find in this world economic downturn many advantages to investing in the services of domestic Ninjas, and Colorado produces the finest Ninjas outside of Japan.

Here are only a few of the (above board) Ninja Factories Colorado is proud to have produced;

Kuso Dojo

Chikaraken Dojo

Kaizen Martial Arts

Kashiwa Bujinkan Ninjutsu

As one is recognized by the three primary Ninja clans as “Daimyo Malignance” one cultivates and maintains with the Ninja community a pact, which from time to time must be amended. This is one such time, and so one will be taking a small vacation from Online Evil, to pursue a strategic leveraging based on recent Invisible Colorado Ninja Empire events.

While it wasn’t in the news, the three great clans in ones Holdfast (Shinobi, Koga, and Iga) recently engaged in a ruthless Ninja war which raged for weeks through downtown Denver, and through many offices, parks, and streets. Because of the stealthy, secretive, and mind controlling techniques of the Ninjas, most if not all people were entirely unaware of the terrible body count resulting from this three way war. Legends tell us that well trained Ninjas of such high quality as those created in the Colorado Holdfast (Colorado Ninjas – your number one domestic choice for stealthy operations!) naturally turn into smoke when they expire, and this may also have contributed to the brutal Colorado Ninja war remaining unreported.

However, with the temporary decline in Ninja power, one is seizing the opportunity to renegotiate the current pact with the clans – while they are being squeezed by Yakuza interests (some money always flows back to Japan in some kind of Ninja franchising deal one has never understood) and attempts by Wyoming’s Wasteland Pirates (natural enemies of Ninjas) to extend their sovereignty into ones Holdfast.

Funny story about dealing with different crime gangs:


With La Cosa Nostra, you meet with the Caporegime in a "sit down" he tells you how much he wants, you put it in an envelope (you can call it money or whatever you want), and you hand him the envelope.
Then fuggedaboutit.

With the Clans, you meet each Shogun for lunch. Beforehand, underlings you must first meet with, will hint at a financial range that would demonstrate proper respect. On the day of the meeting, you will small talk for quite some time – and never speak of business. Then you will have lunch, and during lunch a “shimobe” will become known to you. To this person, discreetly, you will slip the envelope, hidden from view of all others (You must never refer to it as “money” or “payment”). Soon after, the Shimobe will approach the Shogun, and whisper in his (or in the case of Shinobe "her") ear.

At this point, should your “offering” be found worthy, you will be invited to a round of golf (you can never allow yourself to win), or to wander the garden and speak business as do old friends.

Should your offering be found unworthy, the Shogun will demonstrate a displeasure with the meal, feigning a dislike for something he/she has eaten. The lunch will conclude, and you will be allowed to leave. You may then expect Ninja reprisals, which usually are demonstrative of the Shogun’s displeasure. This is called “Negotiation”. If you can trap and wound a Ninja, and produce a body to the Shogun, you may feign besmirched honor, and the Shogun will be honor bound to accept your terms.

The trick is: Ninjas can’t stay off your roof. Put a bear trap up there, and check it in the morning, and you’ll have captured at least one Ninja in a matter of days.

Three clans over 5 days, and possible Ninja reprisals over the following week, and one should be in a better leveraged position with the Invisible Colorado Ninja Empire by early the week after next.

Should somehow, a Ninja get me, one leaves the Holdfast to Villainy, to protect from the designs of heroes.

-Lord Malignance