Saturday, October 24, 2009

Loose thoughts of an Insane Mind...

Greetings and Lamentations,

The Lair has been active of late working on different projects, but during this time, one has had opportunities to record some thoughts. They are as follows, for your reading pleasure.

Exploring Avenues of Evil: some ideas to think about. One is certain that an opportunity for mischief will present itself.

Demonstration of Respect for Sword Kane: I’ve read on the Internet, that our fellow Villain Sword Kane, may be embroiled in a concern and could use a kind word. If you wouldn’t mind, please take a moment and show him that Villains, though heartless scum (and proud of it), are not without concern for one of our own.

From the Reading List: Supervillains and Philosophy, edited by Ben Dyer. It’s dry reading, but promises to be insightful. One is not finding anything profound within its pages (yet), though the writers are all most qualified. Still, if there was a curriculum for Villainy, this book would have to be a staple in the small library.

As far as one can tell, Citizen Prime caught the Utah condition known as “Adult Parent” and has semi retired. So, Villains planning various attacks using magnets will have to mothball those plans for the time being.

One had a thought about feeding the homeless, in order that they may be groomed into a more adequate minion recruiting pool. Peanut butter. Yes, George Washington Carver’s creative brilliance (Canadian claims to the contrary may be attributed to a certain Red Helmeted Time Meddler). Peanut butter is a high source of protein, economical, and requires no refrigeration. It can be rationed and used sparingly to prolong its’ availability. One suspects large ticket stores (Sam’s Club, etc) may have copious quantities or large volume containers. There may be peanut allergies, and this would be a consideration to be wary of. However, for those who can enjoy the sublime pleasure of peanut butter, the dietary benefits are significant.

Phantom Zero may just be the laziest hero in the world. Other than reading and updating his various websites, he seems to be in a low productivity mode. My challenges to him on youtube, remain unanswered and one’s conclusion must be that Phantom Zero has found new avenues to pursue his heroic tendencies. This does not negate ones decision to name him as Arch Nemesis, far from it. One will track him to the fiery lakes of perdition itself, for he tasks me. ME! Lord Malignance! One could have had and disposed of half a dozen tree dwelling lesser heroes by now, however beating on that sofa dwelling seven foot albino Belgian has proven to be most satisfactory. Even now, his stature as a hero so greatly diminished, that lesser Villains begin taking swings at him, sensing that he is helpless. One expects that he too will start down the long road of beer swilling, White Snake listening, girth enhancing, self delusion that will spell his doom.
Side note: Phantom Zero, if you are reading this (and one suspects you don’t) and there is something going on in your life outside of the Mask, then please accept my humblest apologies. Do take care of your personal business, set your world to right, and when you so choose, return at your leisure. I will be here to destroy you.

Villainous Resources: For your Utility Belt: Flash Drive with encryption – you can keep your work handy for when inspiration strikes. Pay As You Go phone from Walmart: No proof of identity necessary if you pay with cash. Lord Malignance has a phone number, and can crank call Phantom Zero now, or call into Blogtalk radio. Swiss Army Knife : just plain useful.

Villainous Motivation: Walmart can turn your photographs into posters, at an affordable price. One is looking into this for Staff Motivational purposes. I think some clipart additions to the pictures might include the text; “I will crush you like an insect!” and “Crouch Before Lord Malignance”, and “Insane. Motivated. Organized. The Total Package”.

General Updates on the Malignance Organization. Comrade Cocoa still does not have a hat, Ghost of Nixon tells me that he is having trouble with his appearance. This is TWO failures. The Forum and his own Identity. Soon, one expects, Comrade Cocoa will achieve ascendancy. Bob the Minion will be monitoring Meow and Friends on Blogtalk Radio, lurking for Phantom Zero. Master Calamity's Challenge nears it’s deadline, and at this time, I’ve got nothing. This week will be productive. Lord Malignance is doing Lair upkeep prior to the coming Winter. In Colorado, there is the legendary Villain “Old Man Winter” and he chooses to just be a miserable tenacious codger every year. The Malignomobile needs a paintjob, new tires, insurance, and some body work. So that won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. Facebook and Myspace need work, and one keeps finding spelling errors on the Website, so that’s going to be more work. Lord Malignance needs more Minions! And minions who are not disaster prone, clumsy, less than bright, night dwellers. And a mountain of cash…

Villainous ways to make a Mountain of Cash: Become a Lobbyist for Congress, and lobby against the interests of the middle class. Form a “ThinkTank” and publish papers on outlandish conspiracies. Find and acquire some government grants for bad science with military applications. If you can put “deathray” on the grant application in enough places, the money should find its’ way to you. The real money however, will be in the foreign spies who will pay you “A Mountain of Cash” to send them your secrets. One would advise giving them false information: It’s safer, and you keep your government contacts available. Of course, to be successful, you should probably give the foreign spies false information and the government false information, and keep your secrets to yourself. Get on a Reality Show/Game Show and cheat. Cheat hard, and often. Cheat with élan, and the beautiful insane brilliance you have in your heart. Step on as many necks as you have to, and shill your logo on EVERYthing. Branding baby seals with your logo, is not too far a step to take.

Keep up the Evil Work everyone,
-Lord Malignance

Friday, October 16, 2009

Villain High School

Greetings,

Villainy moves on apace, and more excitement builds as each new villain who embraces the darkness in their souls steps forward with a Villainous Persona, and a Vision for how the world should be changed.

We’ve experienced our earliest stages together, and have progressed swimmingly. One is proud of all that we’ve accomplished, each villain a twisted delight to find and enjoy. The time will one day approach when we will need to move beyond our present state and into our next evolution. Our Villainous High School.

By now, we all have our personas and identities, having progressed through our earliest stages. We’ve established rapport with the wider community, and each carved out a section of the Evil Spectrum we wish to pursue, develop, and share. We see advocates of Chaos, the Subjugation of Mankind, Order, Creativity, Misanthropy, and good old fashioned mean-spirited hatred for the good. Our numbers continue to grow, and this growth should and is being encouraged. Bravo to us all.

As we move forward into whatever forms we will take, I would like to posit this theory;

“Why can’t there be Villains?”

What defines a villain? The Potentate has very thoughtfully defined the Origins of the Villain, and this word should not be a word we hesitate to apply to ourselves.

Why should we take this label? By what quality do we garner this title to ourselves? The sheer audacity of the claim to be! The first, the ground level of this enterprise. Those that come after may take it as granted that there can be Villains/Supervillains/Metavillains, but there always had to be the first, and this is where we are now.

You can’t call yourself a police officer, unless you are state sanctioned. You can’t call yourself a doctor unless you have received your license to practice. What then is the missing criteria to stop us from being Villains? You can call yourselves a “Liberal” or “Conservative” without criteria, and no approval system is required. As advocates for social change, one believes Villainy is a legitimate choice, and rests only in the embrace and application of the label.

What qualities as Villains would we aspire to? Villains amass influence, and resources to themselves, driven by their need to change the world they see around them. This would sound like the very same goal as every man, and woman in the highest ranks of business throughout this world. The claim of being a Villain should encumber no more than that of “Fisherman” or “Sports Fanatic” or whatever other such application you might choose to wear. Instead, this label, once earned and embraced, should be emblematic of quality and distinction.

We ARE the Villains. Savor the delights of being free of the constraints of predictable mundaneness. Is there not anything you cannot accomplish if you put your mind to it?

A Villainous salute to Raven, a cursed Superhero in Alaska, for her insightful analysis (from the front lines) of the differences between Hero (annoying) and Vigilante (Orc).

With Splendid Horror Unfolding,
-M

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Why Evil will triumph...

Greetings,

Just a thought, and a follow up the Engine of Malignance Post from earlier. Heroes take the responsibility of helping others into their hands, thereby taking away the responsibility of the individual to help themselves. If they give a sandwich to a homeless person, that person does not need to find food at that time, and therefore will not. And then the Hero goes away, the homeless person is left crestfallen when the hunger returns, and no hero to provide the help. The heroes build a dependency in others to need them.

Villains on the other hand accept only those that raise themselves up from their low stations. While heroes seek to hold you down, by engendering you to their care, we elevate you by allowing you to choose freely weather you will do nothing, or strive for more.

One drew a difference between the Heroes need to become sole protectors of their community, subtlely taking away that same community's confidence to protect themselves, and the Villains penchant for enslaving a populace to take care of themselves. The Villains would want to educate the population to watch out for each other (and inform on any criminal or subversive malcontents), and take the responsibility of protecting their own self and loved ones into their own hands. You may always rest assured, that the Villains care not weather you live or die, unless you have some value to the Villain, to the community, or resale value.

Villainy goes one step further in Managerial prowess, and this is in the use of small groups of assets, disassociated from other groups, but answerable to a single Leader. These groups are known as "Cells" and operate autonomously from the Leader, once given their objectives to achieve. Wouldn't it make more sense to organize the homeless into cells? If each person may beg/borrow/steal 5$ a day, that person can purchase one meal. But if a cell of 3-4 people pooled their earnings, they could purchase and share food that could last a number of days. This same principle could go towards protection and care of each other. Instead of operating as single people against the cruelties of the world, they could shoulder their burden collectively. One believes this may already be happening, and may be proven successful in the field. My argument instead is that this should be encouraged. Assign henchmen to assemble the cells, and have these cell members raise themselves from their humble stations, and become useful members of society (and potential minions!). This same principle is seen in Families. Forge artificial families, and the benefits would be forthcoming.

With Splendid Horror Unfolding,
-Lord Malignance

Update, and Retrenching Plans...

Greetings and Lamentations, I AM Lord Malignance, and you WILL crouch before me now!
(One's youtube greeting, which never gets enough mileage in my opinion).

Retrenching plans are afoot this week past, and going into the next week. One has spent some time chasing after information on the Super Heroes, and at this time, one can say; "It's bigger than we thought it was". One can chase after one forum, follow the members on youtube, and myspace, and find another forum somewhere. Seriously, there must be at least a half dozen forums out there (most are login required) and a blog of some kind for each hero. Another annoyance appeared today. While the heroes we see, seem to be EVERYwhere on the Internet, there are a disturbing amount of heroes who have no Internet presence at all.

This chasing leads, has lead one to conclude that Myspace is important to this community, as it seems many heroes are using it as a connecting agent to meet others of their ilk. That and the seemingly infinite forums.

On the technology front, Ghost of Nixon still can't figure out the Forum, the Rankings Lists have been moved to the side of this Blog (it's long, but will be pared down to the few cases one wishes to pursue in earnest). Exit Nero has a Blog, and has established his own viewpoint in the spectrum of Evil. Blogtalk Radio on Saturdays at 1900MST called Creature Features is going on, and can offer opportunities for Villains to interact. One suggests you create a login. Ghost of Nixon had trouble with his backspace losing his connection, and Bob the Minion did ok, as long as he didn't touch the computer. Please do, Support Executrix, and take a listen (it's rough, but a start).

Lastly, a word on Running the Empire. Ghost of Nixon, Comrade Cocoa and Bob the Minion are nearing copletion of their appearances. Phantom Zero is getting another beating on Youtube soon, and Master Calamity's Challenge date is approaching. Don't let an Evil Day like Halloween go by without doing something to commemorate the Evil inside you.

The Potentate is leading our movement into the future, and we need to be thinking "are we costume play, or can we be more, and if we can, should we, and if we should, what can we do? How can we express our vision in the world".

May Splendid Nightmares await you,
-Lord Malignance

Sunday, October 4, 2009

And Evil Just Keeps Rolling Along...

Greetings,

Evil tidings to you all (those cherished few). There is positive news to report this week, as a quite time of gestation appears to be ending. A few high points of the week just past;

  • The Return of the Crimson Nematode, and his Vengeance upon his Arch Nemesis Foxfire. Read it if you dare! Read it even if you don't dare. It's brilliant, and is not to be missed.

  • Agent Beryllium's posts inspire and educate. Read and Learn and Marvel at the Dark Underworld of Baristas.

  • The Potentate has a plan afoot that holds the potential for spreading more Evil. Be prepared for a level of cunning ruthlessness the like of which may never have been seen before.

  • Two new Members to the Legions of Evil: Baghead, and Sinista. Welcome to you both. May all your endeavors bear Evil rewards.

  • Phantom Zero continues to remain elusive, despite ones attempts to lure him into the open. This amount of effort on ones part has had the unfortunate effect of having ones own energies focused on this single aspect of my villainy for too long. So, following Crimson Nematode's fine example earlier, I will reluctantly name Phantom Zero as my Arch Nemesis.

  • Not to drone on about a single OCD instance, but the elusive Phantom showed up on Blogtalk radio recently. My Henchman #1 called me to advise me, however one couldn't get to the site fast enough. (I disdain the Christmas Demon's droning, and miss more than I should).

  • Dur Sturmer has a first video at Sword Kane's SuperVillain Challenge. A good first offering, and he seems truly terrifying. We'll have to have an Olympics for the Insane Megalomaniacal SuperVillain one day, and he will certainly be a contender. And is that bizarre Euro/German/Electronica going on?! Brainbanging Evilness!

Running the Empire of Malignance (I need a better name for my Organization)

Herding the Henchmen: Last week, one spoke of a Minion who had so impressed me, that one was going to elevate him to Henchman status. This was going on as intended, and then, in a test to prove his worthiness, he failed ME. So, the Minion remains a minion once more. Really, he couldn't be elevated as it would have broken morale of the Henchman who already serve. (One means YOU, Ghost of Nixon) Yes, it was Bob the minion.

Upgrading Technology: Speaking of Ghost of Nixon, while his success w/the Forum has been underwhelming to date, his recent suggestion to use Windows Movie Maker was most valuable. The quality of the picture taken from the camera is superior to my other software. The sound didn't work though, so further experimentation is necessary. It becomes apparent that I have no Photoshop resources, and this will have to be addressed at some time in the future.

Swing at the Orcs of Herodom: It's either been a quiet week for heroic craziness, or I've been remiss in my work. I've got nothing new to report this week. Sword Kane's Super Villain Challenge continues on, and it seems each few days, a new asset is added to the cache of Villainy.

Going Forward

More videos beating on Phantom Zero! Master Calamity Challenge! (see his Blog for the Details). Comrade Cocoa gets his little act together. Ghost of Nixon reports no new changes on the Forum. Updates to the Website http://www.lordmalignance.com/ (which I'm going to add to the videos for media cross pollenization).

One is thinking of producing a periodical tentatively called "Better Lairs and Dungeons" following the expoits of Villainy. Right now the time resources are not there, so it'll probably remain unrealized at this time.

A logo, and an Organizational name vexes one at this time. These will need to be created henceforth, however assistance from those laboring on my behalf is not forthcoming. The Henchmen, curse them, are an unimaginative lot, and can offer no assistance.

The Rankings: Heroes

The Good (Keep up the Good Work);
Super Hero
Zetaman, Agent Null, Apocalypse Meow
The Eye
Citizen Prime
Polar Man
Superbarrio
Razorhawk (He still makes me laugh)
DC's Guardian
Civitron

The Bad (the Orcs who need to just stop);
The Black Monday Society: Ghost, Insignis, Oni (Scooby Doo called. You're all out of business now)
Nostrum
Thunderspawn the Destroyer, you strange, disturbed, crazy nutbag you
Death's Head Moth. (He makes The Black Monday Society look like the McDonaldsland gang.)
GODendthefed from Youtube who Zetaman calls "The Christian". (Get back on your meds.)

The Ugly (Maybe not the best, but not doing any harm. Might improve);
Tothian
Entomo
Geist
PHANTOM ZERO,who is allowing a forum for the heated exchange of ideas to go unexploited.

The Rankings: Villains

The Good (Keep up the Evil Work);
Executrix (Blogtalk Radio Show, and the Radio Challenge: Who can wedge a two by four in Krampus's mouth and shut him up for 30 seconds)
The Potentate (Centerpiece of Evil United, and recent hatcher of a diabolical New Plan)
Agent Beryllium (seeming to effortlessly stake a claim on the World of Villainy)
Master Calamity (Bringing forth the most paranoid, thoughtful analysis of the World of Villainy)
Crimson Nematode (Back from his move to the new Nema Tower, with both lazer pistols firing!)
Dr. Steel (Founding Father of Villainy)
Dr. Horrible (Fictional, but whimsical inspiration. Or is he? What DOES NPH do in his downtime?)

The Bad (for the love of Evil, just stop);
The Consortium of Evil (You're lazy. Get to work over there, you're giving Evil a bad name)

The Ugly (Maybe not the best, but not doing any harm. Might improve);
The lazy members of Evil Organizations, who are claiming SuperVillain status without having spent the effort to earn the title. (Get to work. Create a blog. Create a Video. Create some Photoshop work. Research Dada. Bring your vision into the world. Post comments in blogs. Follow blogs (MINE!). Allowances are made for being new, or having outside of Evil Responsibilities to attend to. You are only limited by your imagination and your fear. Break Free, and inspire your brothers and sisters in Evil, who are waiting for your acts to inspire them to finally step forward).

I await your participation in this Great Experiment,
-Lord Malignance