Monday, May 31, 2010

Zetaman calls Krampus for Advice...

Greetings.

Lot going on. Let's begin;

**This is also addressed to Zetaman, since you scrub comments on RLSH.net. Replying to your post at http://www.therlsh.net/public-forum-f8/addressing-roach-t3702.htm .

Full disclosure: One is not now, nor has one ever been a member of ROACH
.

Background details; Zetaman had vandalism done to his car, and perhaps more, with a note left implicating ROACH. As is by now being proven clear by police investigation, no member of ROACH, or any other Villain associated with these blogs has been proven thus far to have had anything to do with this, and further, no incitement to commit such crimes by any member, or Villain.

This brings up another point. Zetaman doesn't follow any Villain blogs, but he does follow Krampus's blog.

There you are!

In fact, to listen to Krampus, Zetaman considers him worthy advisor and listens to and trusts what Krampus has to say. Let's look at Krampus's advice to readers;

From todays blog post; "It is the opinion of Krampus that since there has been so much negativity and capability of genuine harm to one's reputations, property and health by coming in contact with ROACH, people may wish to disassociate and disconnect any and all ties with members that are members, or fraternize as friends with such reprobates. I believe that ROACH and all members involved deserve to make their voices heard, their side of the story told. Perhaps this is the act of someone attempting to frame ROACH. But this latest attack crosses a line that goes beyond satire, beyond parody, beyond blogging and role play. Any and all members of ROACH will no doubt be investigated, as well as other potential allies with whom Krampus has verbally jousted. Hell, I'd even suspect Krampus may be investigated for this attack, with lies and innuendos spouted that Krampus has gone 'round the bend and has attacked Zetaman in order to see ROACH crushed once and for all. If such an investigation would come, so be it. Krampus has done nothing nor conspired with anyone to do such a thing, the evidence would attest to that". Without the police report, Krampus has decided who is responsible - and it's likely reprobates like ROACH members. He follows with an eerie confession. What?!

Krampus makes unfounded, Fear mongering claims; "Stalking. Cyber-stalking. Defamation of character. Manipulation of its members. Threats against its members. Veiled threats under the blanket of absurdity. Has the name ROACH also become the point of origin of a planned attack on a member of the community's property? Has someone been inspired to perform such an act with hopes of joining their ranks? Or are they merely patsies in this instance, being framed for a crime they did not commit but few would deny that is a petty, villainous act?" Glenn Beck would be proud. And so must Zetaman.

Previous posts that must have drawn Zetaman to Krampus;

On the Krampus Blogtalk Radio Show At 30:20 Krampus, after having incessantly yapped about his continuing education from cartoons, concludes that Villainy may be likened to Islamic Extremists, because we are "Verbal Terrorists". Yes, this is what is passing as intellectual discourse over there. Previously we had been called nazis, so they're still trying to fish around and find the worst name ever to call us. One suggests "Islamonazis". Schoolyard games being the pinnacle of their strategic capabilities.

Mr. Jingles (Krampus's trained Gerbil) claims that a Villain is anti semetic in the same show, though in fact he doesn't understand what the phrase "Anti Semtic" means. Still, he throws the word around, to sound like he's a big shot. Any person hearing such an accusation certainly might find anger to direct at Villainy. Though of course, the facts don't bear out his claim.

Mixsae on the same show;
Mixsae, truly plumbing intellectual dishonesty brings up the video where people in masks claiming to be villains threaten heroes, and Master Legend, and claims that they are in fact associated with Villainy here in these blogs. One points out the posting date of that video as January 15th, 2009 being both before ROACH (first post May 16th, 2009) and Lord Malignance (first Post August 1st, 2009). One has pointed out that they are first a comedy, and second, in poor taste for brandishing weapons. They make no mention of ROACH, or of any other Villain or group, seemingly coming to their genesis based solely on their experience with superheroes.
She goes further with text here (see comments); "Explain this Malvado, Malignance and especially Poop Knive.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1DYdgkrb-KMIs that someone claiming to be an RLSV brandishing a shotgun and a machette claiming to want to put an end to the RLSH and what they stand for?Look at the masks...weapons. The use of threats and intemidation.Nice to know what you guys stand for. You ruthlessly attack at will and encourage the masses to step up and stomp out citizens trying to make the world a better place." Anyone pretending to be a Real Life Superhero, might certainly want to act against ROACH. Why not take a plotline from Watchmen, and frame someone?

Another follower of Krampus, like Zetaman, Mr. Jingles opines; "But here's the thing. It starts to be a big deal and it gets REAL serious when people make those videos dressed like gang members or costumes AND ARE WIELDING MACHETES AND SHOTGUNS!!!! At that point, it's no longer so innocuous. These guys are probably a joke but there's nothing about a big blade and a shotgun. And Lord Malignance I see you doing what you always do when someone proved you wrong... you avoid or misdirect. You said your people do not preach violence and I proved that your people DO preach violence. And your best response is that weak ass comeback. Here's a thought. Instead of deflecting why don't you explain to us all why Malvado was preaching violence. Come on Brainiac, flex those brain cells a bit and let's that masterful skill you have in spin doctoring that one." Now remember - the date on the video precedes the creation of ROACH and ones own emergence. Those in the video brandishing weapons are only responding to heroes. There are no Villains at this point in time. Yet Mr. Jingles, a follower of Krampus, like Zetaman goes ahead and pushes his point that Villains seek to attack heroes - with dangerous weapons.
 
A more recent post Zetaman lends his picture and name to, by following Krampus;
"If you're evil and a villain, you kill children" with pictures of children in hospital beds, victims of murderous assaults. w/text; "Recently there has been a great deal of discussion about what 'evil' does, what 'villains' do. Some actually have the audacity to claim that 'real evil' and 'real villains' do not advocate violence, that their work is strictly satire. What is created is a patchwork, cross stitching of those that are purely laughable. These are stitched and sewn together with those that claim to be naught but jokes and fakers disguised under a facade, prepared to do actual harm. And of course, the actions of one tugs one another. The tapestry is at worst, a plethora of bad comedy covered in blood. The weak, the innocent, even the strong can be overwhelmed and decimated. Krampus is currently investigating plots from those claiming to be RLSV or simply RLV to actively attack members in the RLSH world to demonstrate that all are not simply bad comedy." Krampus, quite oddly, claims foreknowledge of an attack on a Superhero. Coincidence, or perhaps Zetaman trusts his consigliere with knowledge of something about to happen. One can't fathom how Krampus can claim this without someone advising him in advance of an incident.
 
The entire page summing up some of Krampus's racist statements. Zetaman follows Krampus's blog. He doesn't follow Villainy, but he follows Krampus. Let one say that again: Zetaman follows Krampus's blog. No contestation? That fact appears clear (See the picture above).
 
Krampus making a veiled threat to call child services on a Villains child with text; "Which leads us to the ringmaster of this mudshow, The Potentate. By the way, congratulations on the child. Don't fuck her up too badly, or else someone may have to call Child Services. See what I did there? "
 
Krampus claiming Villains are Cyber Terrorists (now watch for his facts);
"I also discovered through contacts that people who had said some less than flattering things on another ROACH member's blog who then had their locations and IP addresses posted? Both had their computers attacked with trojan horse viruses this past weekend. This has gone beyond simply mud slinging under the name of satire to espionage and cyber-terrorism. Exactly why Krampus has kept a watchful eye on ROACH, looking in the most ridiculous of places for signs of real threats. To those of you who want to disassociate yourselves from ROACH, you have my apologies for not being able to aid you in your endeavors at this time. But it does reveal more of the nature of the people that take role playing as villains too far. Those that hide beyond facades and vilify others sometimes run the risk of becoming the very things they strive, or claim to fight. The proper authorities WILL be alerted. " One must have missed any facts. Did you see them?

Krampus tells his readers, like Zetaman, that Villains are Cyber Terrorists who engage in "espionage and cyber-terrorism". Why if you read his blog enough, you certainly might want to take a shot at Villainy.
 
Most damning to Krampus and his followers like Zetaman; "Ohhh, imagine the fun. Technically, I believe I fit all the criteria for membership. After all, I've reported to the FBI, police and others about suspected terrorist activity. True, the threats may have claimed to have been a joke, but here I am, monitoring a section of the online community that people don't often take seriously. They dress in costumes and wish they were aliens wielding laser swords. Yeah, yeah. They spend their money and help the economy, should we take any threats in that area seriously? Perhaps. 'Twould pay to be better safe than sorry. So in that, I've proven my worth. And once approved, imagine exchanging information with Homeland Security! The FBI! Anyone you suspect of wrongdoing will be investigated, possibly their business and lives ruined in the process of investigation.
So let's say for example someone had made threats. Let's call them LM for now. Say that LM has been harassing people online, claiming to be part of a terrorist movement, attempting to exchange words of delusion, covering his tracks while actually planning something insidious. That's not a problem, as a member of Infragard, I simply report to the network, and this person's every move is traced, monitored,and depending on the severity, taken away by the Men in Black to be 'investigated' further. Or perhaps said person is simply going to the Urban Dictionary and giving a Thumbs Down on all my definitions out of spite. That's fine, I can make up something and tell my Infragard superiors anyway. Infragard polices its own members, so if there's too many bad leads, one might be talked down to sternly.
 
And one of the best parts? WHEN, not if, WHEN Martial Law would be declared, let's say by a terror attack, mass rioting, natural disasters and the local law enforcement can't handle it, then I'll be given leeway to help defend the area with a license to kill. That's right, I can just yell 'He's coming right at us!' and open fire, use my varied sword and knife collection, perhaps even granted a level of my own authority to apprehend and interrogate a suspect. Wouldn't THAT be fun boys and girls? A license to commit the very acts that Krampus commits in lore! And all under the name of national security! How very delicious!
'Tis an intriguing thought, isn't it? To be given powers above the normal citizen to inflict your will and spy all under the name of helping the government. I recall The Joker appearing in a comic shortly after slaying the Robin known as Jason Todd. Batman wished to come as close to killing him as possible, but he couldn't be touched. Even Superman was there to stop Batman. And why? He became an Ambassador for an oil rich middle eastern nation, and thus had Diplomatic Immunity! Eventually Mr. J lost his status, but still the same principle applies. As long as you're acting in the interest of information gathering in the name of national security, the sky's the limit. To act like a snooping prick, and hide behind the seal of the U.S. Government. Very tempting. And why not? NORAD tracks Santa, why not allow Krampus to do what Krampus does with impunity? This way, Krampus would be part of a legitimate network to monitor all on the Naughty list. Who needs elves when you have junior and senior G-Men to watch your back? Very tempting.
And this is a temptation that at this time, Krampus will NOT undertake. Krampus exists to watch over the wicked. And while this incarnation may monitor those not seen by others, there is a tint of danger in this organization. A network of tens of thousands, memberships growing every day, made to spy on one's neighbor? Not simply reporting blatantly suspicious activity, but potentially framing others? And should anarchy begin to run rampant and Martial Law declared, these people may feel free to kill with no ramifications on a legal scale? Or at the very least, dramatically reduced in sentencing unless the proof is overwhelming and the organization is left to police its own? This is abuse of one's power. Now I ask you to consider something. Imagine the possibility if I did join Infragard. Now imagine if someone you didn't like, or didn't care for you joined Infragard. Imagine a member of a supposed super villain organization hiding behind Infragard. Or imagine something out of shock value for some of you. What if a vigilante decided that instead of politics, this could be the route to take in exposing crimes on a higher level?"


So, with Zetaman's martyresque plea for Villains to stop comical attacks on silly people dressing up in crazy costumes, one replies with this; You follow Krampus, and your picture endorses his work. The audience you take part in is clearly much more focused on acts of violence against people, than Villainy here. How can you cry your false Zetatears, and not look in the mirror? At your endorsement of Krampus, and all he stands for? Answer these questions, and you'll be closer to solving the case of the "Attack on Zetaman, by framing Villainy".

-Lord Malignance
Tired of Victims of Stupidity, trying to blame their weaknesses on others.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Busy, Busy, Busy...

Greetings and Lamentations, I AM Lord Malignance, and you WILL crouch before me now! (Villains excepted, of course)

So much work is going on these days! Everyone is working hard, and new developments are appearing everywhere. So much so on ones own side, that correspondence has fallen behind. Apologies to Villains, and sneering contempt to heroes. Extended with sincerity to both.

Some "Adventures in Evil" (copyright Malignance, LLC) this week;

The exceptional Villain Master Calamity may be leaving for more mysterious pursuits. One wishes him success, and out of respect for his wish to remain unknowable, has removed him from the listings of Villains. The Master Calamity Holiday Challenge will still continue on Halloween though, as a tribute to his contributions. Remember though: Whatever you think you might know about him, may not be true. He might just be any number of other Villains, heroes, people that you know, or people that you don't. He could be anyone, or no one, a mystery as he has always been. Good Form (and of course, by "good" one means "Evil").

Preparing to attempt the Aluminum Chef's Perfect Steak Formula again this weekend(time allowing). This time, Success!

The Overlord is preparing a new website that will undoubtably shine like a Dark Star. Prepare to be awed. One would absolutely add one of your sinister buttons to "Embrace the Malignance" but can't figure out how to add the malevolent things.

To the Patrons of the Arts; One yells at the camera, because one yells at people. One will endeavor to reduce the crazy somewhat. Being an insane megalomaniac powered by candy bars will produce certain difficulties with conversational moderation.

Adding the music and audience track to the Instrument of Evil "Codename:Cello".

If you haven't checked your email for an enterprising invitation from Computer King, please do. One will be awaiting your participation in this great advance.

The Villain Sword Kane could still use a bit of assistance, if you can find it in your dark, shriveled, simulacrum of hearts. You may send what you may through Paypal to his email at swordkane@yahoo.com

The hero (boo, hiss) Crossfire the Crusader, a respected personage who defeated Villainy (Once!) has a worthy cause you may also be interested in. You can find the details on his page.

If Tea Krulos is correct, those bounders the RLSH (boo, hiss, "yo mama") might be showing up on 20/20 sometime in the next week or so. You may absolutely count on one to be screaming at the television should this come to pass.

Lab Failures;

Helmet is awful. Back to the drawing (literally) board.

Omega Weed (Codename: Triffid): Colorado based flora resistant to Round Up, is a failure. Small doses don't seem to produce greater tolerance, they just build toxicity, which eventually results in biological crash. Spectacular crash w/no observable chance to recover.

Locust Control using ultrasonics failed, because the recent wet/cold period has retarded the life cycle of these native insects. One blames Doctor Overkill for this.

Wars with other States, contesting the Mightiness of my Colorado Holdfast: Virginia, one accepts your Cantor gambit, and raises you "Colorado Psychic". Take that you amateures. And one still has the Dobson, if you even THINK of trying to out crazy ones Holdfast. The Tancredo remains in reserve just in case. A pyrrhic victory, for if you unleash the Dobson, everyone loses.

Lair Goings On

My missing Minion Bob's pet rat/dog/nightmare has bitten two kennel workers, one severly. Still no sign of Bob, who by now must have travelled some distance - even though he has no identification, money, or command of the English language.

Ghost of Nixon is still working on aquiring gainful employment in California. So far, nothing too attractive has caught his eye, but he is working (harder than he ever worked for ME) at it, and should have good (Evil) news to report in the future. Until such time, his activities have been diminished.

Comrade Cocoa has been practicing taking on his ArchNemesis Minuteman by wrestling with his toys. Warning for Minuteman: The henchdog's Finishing Move is Communist Love. One will go no further into description, for gentlemen do not speak of such things.

Two, TWO huge yard bags of Shredded materials have been produced this week. Both shredders going at the same time. The little one "Daisy" and the larger industrial wood chipper "Mongo" have been working at a furious pace. Everything one touches produces paper records! Even Safeway.

Back to work, and one wishes you success in all your endeavors,

-Lord Malignance
More Shredding!

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The Most Evil Sandwich of Them All - Teil Zwei


Today, one had an opportunity to drive crazy distances to track down a German Food Delicatessen, and one experienced mixed results. One reached the location, and found it full of German goodness. So many grocery products - and all in German! The ladies behind the counter conversed freely in German, and were most happy, and proud to make recomendations and share their culture. They had Knorr Goulash spice packets - instructions all in German!

From the picture, one included a menu-type handout, a business card, and some Dark Rye bread. The bread promises to be tasty, and one will consider it for inclusion in the Master Sandwich Formula. The problem occurred when one asked for the Reuben, prepared with my camera to take pictures of the assembly.

It turns out Corned Beef is not strictly speaking, German. They tolerate it for the Reuben, but don't strain themselves to keep it in stock. The bread arrives fresh each day (recommended to pick up in the morning, before it all sells out early) around 9am.

One will have to follow up on this at some time in the future, for the Secrets of the Most Evil Sandwich in the World, WILL BE MINE!
-Lord Malignance

Monday, May 3, 2010

The Most Evil Sandwich - OF THEM ALL!

Greetings and Lamentations, I AM Lord Malignance, and you WILL crouch before me now! (Villains excepted, of course)

Bludgeoning Trolls has been fun, but a distraction from greater work, and one sees we all need a break from the constant humiliation of Krampus. To this end, some recent finds, and the revelation of THE MOST EVIL SANDWICH OF THEM ALL. This is not, by the way, the MalignoTuna Sandwich, which horribly used Sour Cream instead of Mayonnaise because - "hey, both are white condiments". This having been later determined by peers to have been yet another "crime against humanity". As if the Hague can even think about taking ME before Darth Cheney.

1) Sword Kane is still experiencing difficulty, and would appreciate any monetary kindness you would care to send him. You may use your paypal account to forward funds to his email address swordkane@yahoo.com. If you have concerns about privacy, you may create a paypal account by any name (they are a stickler for address though) and purchase MoneyPak cards from Walmart, and send him what you may in this way.

2) One has been ranting about not finding enough information on the new season of Doctor Who. Then one found that you can purchase entire episodes from the iTunes store most reasonably at $2.99. This may hold you over until the series comes out on Amazon.com.

3) One has heard that if you text REDCROSS to 90999 a $10.00 donation will go to the Red Cross for assistance in domestic disasters, including the recent flooding in Tenessee. One is never sure if these things work, so a pinch of doubt and care to examine the information before you ever send money is in order.

4) Lord Malignance does not yet have "Instrument of Evil: Codename Cello" off the ground, but has made significant progress. Also, it appears Master Legend already has something going. AAAAAAGGHGHGHGHGH! They want a video for the application, and one wanted to provide the video AFTER one had a target to shill to. Lastly, one has been attempting to find a Colorado State Flag, however for some reason, these are turning out to be difficult to find. One believes this is because we're not terribly fond of our flag - we put a "C" on it for Colorado. Pretty much sums it up.

5) Cause and Effect: Without Bob doing dishes, and other housework, things have slowly fallen apart. Who knew he washed dishes? So now one is down to improvising. A bowl as a glass, a spatula as a knife, tongs as forks, etc. Bob by the way is nowhere to be found, and his rats are costing $140 a week to kennel... till the authorization to feed them to snakes is made... Except Bud, the Rat/Dog nightmare thing (by the way - Bud IS a rat, just a very, very, large aggressive rat, that barks). Bud is going to have to go to the zoo, as he appears to frighten all the other animals and people. Rats have notoriously short lifespans, so this issue may just resolve itself.

And now, one will reveal
the Most Evil Sandwich in the World;


The heroes have by no coincidence, the so called "Hero" sandwich, and like them, it is a gaudy, mishmash of leftovers thrown together in a haphazard way. Tasty, and it does the job, but you are left to despair over the incredible lack of style and distinction.

Villainy on the other hand, has the Reuben Sandwich. The ingredients? Simply Rye bread, Corned Beef, Swiss Cheese, Thousand Island Dressing, Butter for toasting, and Sour Kraut. Is there really anything more unwholesome than Sour Kraut?

The formula for the sandwich is easy enough, but as with a sandwich this complex and Evil, the devil is in the details. Only the finest ingredients should be used in any attempt. Mere Safeway components will not suffice. If you have a delicatessen near your house, you may find this treasure, and experience the sublime pleasure.

The finest Rye Bread - tangy, rich, and chewy must be found. The Corned Beef, from only a deli counter. Do not THINK of using anything from a package! Never overfill your sandwich with an ugly over abundance of meat, for you are creating art, as well as food. When purchasing Swiss Cheese, pay the extra for the finer cheese - it will have a smell, and the texture of industrial plastic - but the taste is far superior. Thousand Island Dressing is crucial, and one has no recomendation here, but your choice must be only the finest. If it can be created by the deli, all the better. Sour Kraut should also similarly be made, and not from package - your deli may also be able to assist you with this. After the assembly, and this is crucial - the sandwich must be lightly buttered on both outsides, and pan heated, to melt the cheese, and delicately brown the bread. Use only the finest butter, a rich European brand, or a creamy domestic salted alternative. You would not want to destroy your work with mere margarine - the shadow of butter with none of the substance!

Finally, serve on a plain white bone china plate with a side of Potato Salad, and set upon to play on your finest music reproduction device a selection of challenging Rachmaninoff, and savour the pleasures of enjoying the Most Evil Sandwich in the World.

You will be full afterwards, and it might be possible to experience a period of gastric distress - sometimes the Sour Kraut may be inferior, or the Thousand Islands Sauce too acidic. You should not plan on venturing forth, until you know how this sandwhich will sit with you.

Once you have experienced a Reuben Sandwich, all other sandwiches pale in comparison.

-Lord Malignance
Has not yet, and may never perfect this sandwich