He Tasks Me!

http://heroesinthenight.blogspot.com/2010/04/past-mask-real-life-superhero-project.html

So, my ArchNemesis is parading around like a runway damsel. THIS is how he torments me. Me, the Gifted Eccentric, the Punch to his Judy, the Abbot to his Costello. How can Lord Malignance be FEARED, and crouched before, if his ArchNemesis is a Fashion Model?! Oh the pain.

He does look like he’s put on weight, though not yet quite zeta-class.

One was thinking about Villainous overtures to the weaklings. We have taken the lead on branding and identifying Villainy as non violent, gifted, creative, superior, demigod-like beings who stride across the Earth with an unknown malevolent purpose. All the while, those below our grandeur held in abject obeisance, their only purpose being to serve and labor on our behalf.

There have been Villains who have moved into the camps of heroes (not most recently), hoping to work their Evil from within. To be sure, there is value here, however one directs your thoughts to another path. IF Villainy works to the exclusive betterment of Real Life Superheroes, we become domesticated, trustworthy, and benign. Bereft of any true malevolence we become tolerated pets. This should not be the desire of Villainy. To craft the change we wish (whatever that may be), we must be credible threats to all they so childishly hold dear. Theatrical bravado notwithstanding, our overarching goal concerning Superheroes must be their complete and utter liquidation. Only in being the true threat they must acknowledge and respect, can we hope to command their crouching servitude, before their inevitable elimination.

That doesn’t mean we can’t be courteous – far from it. Evil may always be served with style and class – a smile indeed being more fearsome than a snarl.

Now that they already do so rightly fear us and lose sleep over our sinister designs upon the world, we may be thinking about expanding our grasp to larger spheres. If there were no Superheroes, what else would Villainy be about?

Enslaving Humanity? This may be done with the tools of the Internet and by following the Villainous endeavors of Faux News.

Conquering the World, to hold it’s fragility in the peril of our Merciless Grasp? This can be done with stock manipulations as seen most recently. Hedge Fund Managers are Villains to emulate and to celebrate.

Building our Armies of Minions, that they may sweep across the globe in our names and extinguish all contest to our pitiless rule? One thinks of it as a Facebook driven Tea Party Squared group. (T2). Whereas the Tea Parties seek the overthrow of our legitimately democratically elected government for their own secessionist rule, one will claim that their designs do not go far enough! Imagine a world wide following of easily led sheeple willing to follow crazy people who are willing and able to rule them with an authoritarian harshness they cannot imagine. Lists of “enemies of the state of the Maligdomain” will be drawn up, and harsh punishments will be meted out as examples to other potential dissenters. This has ever been the model of dictatorial success throughout history.

But one digresses…

Shilling. One is hard pressed to find Villains who do not offer services or products for some reason. Villainy appears to be about building value, and heroes about giving it away. A rule one learned in economics: "You get what you pay for". That hero who lives in a box in the alley around your neighborhood? He washed your windshield for free, or for a quarter, or whatever you had to give him? How’d that turn out? Pretty poor job, is one correct?

On the other hand, with Villainy, our services are always for sale, and no small fee, or token consideration will be accepted. We know the value of our work, and demand to be recognized for it and compensated equally. Eliminating crime from your dominion, so that the citizenry may be more efficient in your service? Why would you not accept their gratitude, and offers to serve you as minions, so that your armies might swell, and crush all who stand before you? Only a hero would throw away a valuable resource when it is seen.

Villainy should not be afraid to celebrate the Will to Shill.

Catching up on the Malevolent Organization;

One missed the Malvado show last week, and extends apologies. If you are not listening to the Malvado Show on Wednesday Nights at 0900 MST (Malignance Standard Time), you certainly should. One thanks Captain Black (who has been added to the lists on the right hand side of this blog) for calling in and for his valuable contribution.

Instrument of Evil: Codename Cello; Missed the deadline (all the spots were taken way before the deadline). One is moving the go live date to May 1st.

Googlebombing: Not as successful as one intended, but one thanks all the support out there. One believes so much recent activity has pushed ones humble offering to the back of the searches. Ah well, nothing ventured nothing gained. Sleep less soundly heroes, sleep less soundly.

White Skull. One told you so. If the trolls blamed Villains before, though they were both his friends and cause of his anguish, and then this time when he was their greatest friend and now a reformed villain, who will be blamed now? And of course, following a too simple pattern exhibited by Mixsae, Tiny Terror, and himself once before, deletion of blogs, and posts on other blogs mysteriously following. Bah. Moving on.

Powerball: One did not win Powerball, but if one had, it would have been 175million. One does not believe in lottery, because it’s lazy, however the thought of building the "Lord Malignance Park" in beautiful New Jersey was too tempting.

Diabolical Madame X may or may not be invading the sanctity of the Lair sometime very soon. It's a special Evil she inflicts wherein she doesn't actually share her plans with your resources with you. Ah, the happy times of future insane screaming matches. Can't. Hardly. Wait.

Helmet Upgrades: One is currently using Helmet version 2, and has been looking to improve. Some failures on the road;
Version 3: Motorcycle helmet. It touches ones ears. Ones ears may NOT be touched!
Version 4: Medieval Sugar Loaf Helm. It's conical and touches ones nose. The nose may NOT be touched!
Version 5: Brass plates cut and screwed together into a box. Designs commencing.


I hate you Phantom Zero.

-Lord Malignance