Greetings and warm thoughts of kindess to you all,
One has been pondering my many, many depraved acts of Evil recently, and thought more than once on the sheer unkindness one has visited on small brained trolls. You may think Lord Malignance has no heart, that my inescapable designs are all encompassing, and that one holds your very soul in the labrythine peril of my terrible, terrible, will. But one still has a heart. One still has feelings. If you could only know, the softer, friendlier side of Lord Malignance...
To this end, one has decided to follow in the footsteps of others, and turn over a new leaf. From now on, one will strive to do good, and will henceforth be known as "Captain Underpants", and fight crime and be nice to people. One will start patrolling the seedy underbelly of Colorado, once the pride of my domain, and begin extolling the virtues of kindness to all one meets.
Gone from the Lair is the MalignoSoundCanon (copyright Malignance, LLC) along with other exotic technologies, and various sundries used in plots to enslave mankind.
One will no longer punish henchmen and minions, instead employing a kinder, more motherly behavior, to nurture their inner children. This same benevolence will be extended to Blog Trolls, and even the poor insignificant demons who patrol blogs seeking some kind of valedation for their paltry existances.
So, this is Captain Underpants, signing off and preparing to battle crime in the name of Goodness!
Normally I would comment on this sort of behaviour, Captain Underpants, but at the insistence of my lawyer, I should refrain from any more super villain related Tom foolery.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck in your future endevours,
Crimson Nematode,
ReplyDeleteto avoid any legal entanglements, one has had to change my new name - only hours into fighting crime. It appears there already is at least one Captain Underpants. So, one will have to change ones name to "Major Underpants".
One is looking for an Arch Nemesis now. Perhaps we can all join the Potentate in his new gang? The Justicers? Ooh - the Tattletale - I'll bet that would be a cool hero name.
-Lord Malignance
Good on you for promoting yourself from captain to major. If you demoted yourself, I'd probably be a bit concerned.
ReplyDeletePS. since you're a hero now, will you be my nemesis?
ReplyDeleteYou need to sell out, lobotomize, and join the cool kids. Until the spell placed upon us by Metatron wears off at Midnight. One claimed Telepathy - you'll have to choose some other New Age Real Life Superhero Power. If you haven't yet checked out Poop Knifes page, he's got something thought provoking cooking.
ReplyDelete-Major Underpants
The Villain formerly known as Lord Malignance
(I knew you'd say that - with my Superhero Telepathy!)
Ack - one means the HERO formerly known as Lord Malignance. Being good is hard work. Just now, one was fighting the Planet Neptune TELEPATHICALLY with a group of Superheroes. Needless to say, minutes (it seemed like weeks) later, Neptune was defeated. You're welcome Earth.
ReplyDeleteAs a Superhero, one must blog about my victory against Neptune!
Major Underpants
Defeater of Neptunes latest attempt to mug the Earth, and the real life superhero formerly known as Lord Malignance