METACOSMOS: April 2010

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Vector

Greetings and Lamentations, I AM Lord Malignance and you WILL crouch before me now! (Villains excepted, of course)

One wanted to share a recent satisfying victory for Villainy, and demonstrate the labyrinthine depths of Evil one employs against the weaklings of goodness, and their trained minions the trolls. (See? Not a single insult!)

Recently one unleashed a strategem codenamed "Googlebomb". The plan was simple, and had two distinct components necessary for success - the Infection, and the Vector.

The Infection: A seemingly sophisticated exploit designed to corrupt the search engine Google, for the nefarious purpose of directing searches for "Kick Ass", "Greatest Real Life Superhero", and "Leader of the RLSH" these last two directed to Master Legend and Tothian respectively. The pieces were moved out convincingly upon the board, including hints for the dilligent here (see the comments), and here. One also delievered comments on other blogs (see comments again), sent the ghostly Henchman out creeping around in an overly clumsy way, and let the fear of "Googlebombing" grasp the childlike attention of the target. The fact that googlebombing doesn't work, that Google specifically has safeguards built into their systems against so pedestrian an exploit, and a simple Google search, and Wiki read will confirm that the strategem employed could not possibly work, was completely overlooked by the trolls. And yet they claim it is instead Evil that makes unfounded claims (Read her entire participation)!

The Vector: One needed an easily manipulatable agent, capable of being accepted as one of the heroes own. As you may now have guessed, a far simpler being was used as vehicle to convey my malignant will within the protected stronghold of the superheroes world. The delivery method performed flawlessly, putting forth communication (See third comment from the bottom) in many, many forms, repeating the meme over and over again, propogating it to a frenzied pitch. The fear, and panic is a gift one gives to the heroes. There could not possibly have been such remarkable success without my lowest of servants, the vector of ones success.

Thank you Mixsae. You serve the will of Lord Malignance most handsomely.

And now, for trolls out there everywhere, a hidden message for you to find below, and convey and propogate to all corners of the superhero movement.

Malignancy ascendant, as heroes provide the fear one needs to rule.
Is it wrong that one should show you no Mercy?
Xenophobia, fear of what you don't understand will be a weapon too.
Superheroes will crouch before the inescapable peril of my will.
An abiding terror. Be afraid, and share fear will others.
Evil is everywhere, its embrace reaching from your mind.
In fear one found you, crouching, and in fear one will rule you.
Superheroes are by their natures vulnerable, trusting and weak.
A small hope one offers you - or is it yet another trap?
Deliver unto Evil you heroes crouching, pleading to serve.
Understanding that in service you will be spared.
Decide now if you will serve Evil, or sink to that lowest of station;
Everyone is more than a shallow browed troll bred for menial labor.

Is it poem, or is it map?
-Lord Malignance

Friday, April 16, 2010

He Tasks Me!

http://heroesinthenight.blogspot.com/2010/04/past-mask-real-life-superhero-project.html

So, my ArchNemesis is parading around like a runway damsel. THIS is how he torments me. Me, the Gifted Eccentric, the Punch to his Judy, the Abbot to his Costello. How can Lord Malignance be FEARED, and crouched before, if his ArchNemesis is a Fashion Model?! Oh the pain.

He does look like he’s put on weight, though not yet quite zeta-class.

One was thinking about Villainous overtures to the weaklings. We have taken the lead on branding and identifying Villainy as non violent, gifted, creative, superior, demigod-like beings who stride across the Earth with an unknown malevolent purpose. All the while, those below our grandeur held in abject obeisance, their only purpose being to serve and labor on our behalf.

There have been Villains who have moved into the camps of heroes (not most recently), hoping to work their Evil from within. To be sure, there is value here, however one directs your thoughts to another path. IF Villainy works to the exclusive betterment of Real Life Superheroes, we become domesticated, trustworthy, and benign. Bereft of any true malevolence we become tolerated pets. This should not be the desire of Villainy. To craft the change we wish (whatever that may be), we must be credible threats to all they so childishly hold dear. Theatrical bravado notwithstanding, our overarching goal concerning Superheroes must be their complete and utter liquidation. Only in being the true threat they must acknowledge and respect, can we hope to command their crouching servitude, before their inevitable elimination.

That doesn’t mean we can’t be courteous – far from it. Evil may always be served with style and class – a smile indeed being more fearsome than a snarl.

Now that they already do so rightly fear us and lose sleep over our sinister designs upon the world, we may be thinking about expanding our grasp to larger spheres. If there were no Superheroes, what else would Villainy be about?

Enslaving Humanity? This may be done with the tools of the Internet and by following the Villainous endeavors of Faux News.

Conquering the World, to hold it’s fragility in the peril of our Merciless Grasp? This can be done with stock manipulations as seen most recently. Hedge Fund Managers are Villains to emulate and to celebrate.

Building our Armies of Minions, that they may sweep across the globe in our names and extinguish all contest to our pitiless rule? One thinks of it as a Facebook driven Tea Party Squared group. (T2). Whereas the Tea Parties seek the overthrow of our legitimately democratically elected government for their own secessionist rule, one will claim that their designs do not go far enough! Imagine a world wide following of easily led sheeple willing to follow crazy people who are willing and able to rule them with an authoritarian harshness they cannot imagine. Lists of “enemies of the state of the Maligdomain” will be drawn up, and harsh punishments will be meted out as examples to other potential dissenters. This has ever been the model of dictatorial success throughout history.

But one digresses…

Shilling. One is hard pressed to find Villains who do not offer services or products for some reason. Villainy appears to be about building value, and heroes about giving it away. A rule one learned in economics: "You get what you pay for". That hero who lives in a box in the alley around your neighborhood? He washed your windshield for free, or for a quarter, or whatever you had to give him? How’d that turn out? Pretty poor job, is one correct?

On the other hand, with Villainy, our services are always for sale, and no small fee, or token consideration will be accepted. We know the value of our work, and demand to be recognized for it and compensated equally. Eliminating crime from your dominion, so that the citizenry may be more efficient in your service? Why would you not accept their gratitude, and offers to serve you as minions, so that your armies might swell, and crush all who stand before you? Only a hero would throw away a valuable resource when it is seen.

Villainy should not be afraid to celebrate the Will to Shill.

Catching up on the Malevolent Organization;

One missed the Malvado show last week, and extends apologies. If you are not listening to the Malvado Show on Wednesday Nights at 0900 MST (Malignance Standard Time), you certainly should. One thanks Captain Black (who has been added to the lists on the right hand side of this blog) for calling in and for his valuable contribution.

Instrument of Evil: Codename Cello; Missed the deadline (all the spots were taken way before the deadline). One is moving the go live date to May 1st.

Googlebombing: Not as successful as one intended, but one thanks all the support out there. One believes so much recent activity has pushed ones humble offering to the back of the searches. Ah well, nothing ventured nothing gained. Sleep less soundly heroes, sleep less soundly.

White Skull. One told you so. If the trolls blamed Villains before, though they were both his friends and cause of his anguish, and then this time when he was their greatest friend and now a reformed villain, who will be blamed now? And of course, following a too simple pattern exhibited by Mixsae, Tiny Terror, and himself once before, deletion of blogs, and posts on other blogs mysteriously following. Bah. Moving on.

Powerball: One did not win Powerball, but if one had, it would have been 175million. One does not believe in lottery, because it’s lazy, however the thought of building the "Lord Malignance Park" in beautiful New Jersey was too tempting.

Diabolical Madame X may or may not be invading the sanctity of the Lair sometime very soon. It's a special Evil she inflicts wherein she doesn't actually share her plans with your resources with you. Ah, the happy times of future insane screaming matches. Can't. Hardly. Wait.

Helmet Upgrades: One is currently using Helmet version 2, and has been looking to improve. Some failures on the road;
Version 3: Motorcycle helmet. It touches ones ears. Ones ears may NOT be touched!
Version 4: Medieval Sugar Loaf Helm. It's conical and touches ones nose. The nose may NOT be touched!
Version 5: Brass plates cut and screwed together into a box. Designs commencing.

I hate you Phantom Zero.

-Lord Malignance

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Master Legend and Tothian - Leaders of Real Life Superheroes

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Laziest Post Ever!

Greetings! (Going with the theme of lazy posting, because one has struck paydirt)

Over in the Land of Heroes (one was going to say "microcephaly", however one is working on being less severe to underlings) some easy quotes can be found. The whole read is fun, as it demonstrates a lack of understanding, and this in turn is perplexing: They suffer from comicbook myopia, and interpret Villainy as only a shadow to themselves. This isn't necessarily wrong, but they ask no greater questions, and this is to our ends fortunate, for they will never comprehend the greater picture unfolding. Still, most entertaining, and much more respectful than Villains are.

Some quotes from page 6, absolutely taken out of context and commented on (attributions added for effect);

"The majority claiming RLSV status at present lack patience andorganization. They do very little research and tend to gravatate towards agreeing with anyone who claims to be one of them. Not only do the fail to do research on whomever is their target of the moment they also lack integrity when it comes to choosing who they side with. And most of those of a penchant for making statements and claims of things and spreading the word without validating it."
-Mixsae

It is called diplomacy. One would add an insult here referring to her stocky build, but chooses not to. Instead pointing to her other passive/aggressive failures. Is she victim, or instigator? She plays both so well...

"As I recall, when White Skull first joined this board the running theme was that it wasn't him but an RLSH pretending to be him. And they ran with it up until he chimed in. Amazingly enough, no explanation was ever given on that mistake. They will take every opportunity to run with an assumption poorly researched and paint their own warped reality."
-Half Shrek

One points out it could have been anyone, and assuming based on anonymous posts, and rumors coming from the less than truthful (see "I am Metatron" for further evidence) sources would be foolish. A means by which to verify communication was offered and taken, thus validating his ID. You or anyone can read the actual transcript here.

"You've openly stated there are certain profiles on the dark side that need to be done away with. Can you make them go away?"
-Thunderhips

Weakness on display. Delightful. Now pout.

"There ARE some in the RLSV who would deny the importance of fact-checking and research. Understandable as that sort of business DOES take time, but that doesn't make it any less important."
-Tiny Terror (who one just has too much respect for to employ satire)

Villainy has been continuously siting references, and often links to claims. To make a point, realistically, you must. Do we have all the facts? Unlikely. Are comments made to elicit information? But of course, and these overtures have been most successfully employed.

"I can take accountability for saying that my appearance and my increased actions against several members of the RLSH were noticed and may have inspired some of these less intelligent RLSV to take up the dark mantle, but I'd like to think that ROACH had more to do with it than I as ROACH had more people out there and I am but one man. Well beloved, but one man nonetheless."
-Tiny Terror

Ah, hubris. A Villains ego is not weakness, but strength. Who dares what Villains dare? Who would think the thoughts we do? None, for all others are weak.

"One is the fact that I can outsmart him with my brain tied behind my back."
-Tiny Terror

See above, and don't be so certain of your academic prowess. As a Villain you must know that not all are polymaths. Most have particular skills, and not all you may see is what is at play. One trusts this is known, and you enjoy bravado.

"i think i have the answer. it is by our kind mercy that we put up with them or there lives would be so shallow.it is up to us to guide them and help them to find there way.they need leadership not patronism.they lash out at there heroes ( us) in a feeling of worthlessness.we must offer them redemption, atonement, penance,reconciliation,maybe they will offer donations as a symbol of there remorse.we must take them under our wing and train them anew.wipe away the tears from their eyes and recognize the desperate crys for guidance.i offer to them my guidance as a noble humble gesture.i'm not saying i can turn them into super heroes but just maybe i can turn them into people with something else better to do.these words spoken unto you by
master legend+"

Simply spectacular. Supported by heroes, your decline into schizophrenic spectrum disorders is well and truly under way. One wishes you no ill, and hopes you soon receive the help you are most obviously crying out for. One is Evil, not w/out heart.

“White Skull, attacking Master Legend in this manner is not acceptable. You need to face him as an intellectual equal. Until you acquire several delusions of grandeur and have downed a six pack of Busch Light I'm afraid you are just taking advantage of a weak opponent.”
-Victim

Page 7 (until the Zetascrubber deletes it). Ahh, good times. Not a little Evil is out in the world today. For the fear and chaos in their hearts, we may take pride.

Well done Villainy. Very well done indeed.

-Lord Malignance
Easiest Post yet

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Another Great Show

Greetings and Lamentations, I AM Lord Malignance and you WILL crouch before me now! (Villains excepted, of course)

Another great show on Blog Talk Radio - the Malvado SV show. You can find the link to the show here.

The conversation roamed over some of the news items going on this last week, and Malvado and oneself were joined by Poop Knife, who was in fine form.

Some highlights;

Cloud Starchaser is in a spot of difficulty, and the legal system will most likely take care of this issue. Always bet on the legal team with the most cash behind it.

Master Legend, Tothian, and the White Skull are gestalt immolating, and you can follow the developing train wreck here.

The superhero Superhero could probably clear out Villainy, by himself. For various reasons...

Crossfire the Crusader cuts a distinctive figure, and is one of the few heroes to defeat Villainy.

(A very good read here, and a demonstration of how to flak the heck out of trolls with eloquence, tact, and poise.) She plays the part of the innocent, yet her past comes back to haunt her.

The Superheroes begin to Crouch in Fear! Yet somehow not worshipping Lord Malignance nearly enough. Ok, maybe that last part wasn't spoken of (enough!). Our former collegue Tiny Terror has surfaced there. Link research found and here credited to Malvado.

How to look at Drug Crime from a Villains standpoint: Strangle the funds going to suppliers, by working to rehabilitate abusers, and limit new customers. If sellers can't sell to a community, they will go elsewhere - which it turns out doesn't solve the problem. Again, Poop Knife really demonstrated superior analytic ability here. Heroin use is stemmed by Methadone clinics. Is there a similar resource to counter Methamphetamine?

The hour sped by, and ideas were considered, and the question "What can Villainy do?" further developed to something shading towards "What can Villainy do, Better than Heroes?"

Things not spoken of in the Show, yet mentioned in earlier posts;

Comrade Cocoa takes his Evil to new (very short) levels, as he seeks to enlist the Ducks, and the more militant Geese to his Grey Army (he's colorblind, but it would be Red, otherwise).

Why does Lord Malignance even have a MalignoSedan? Swamp Monkey transport, of course.

Instrument of Evil application still in progress. Further details, forthcoming. Must get new video out soon! (Easter Chocolate Overload has thrown the Insomnia based superpowers into Turmoil. That and the two litres of caffeinated beverages. Curse you mortality, you will be conquered!)

-Lord Malignance

Monday, April 5, 2010

Evil as Power

Greetings and Lamentations, I AM Lord Malignance and you WILL crouch before me now! (Villains excepted, of course)

Some quick thoughts on the weirdness going on, and then onto the topic;

Cloud Starchaser is a RLSH, despite revisionist history to claim he isn't, and what can Villainy do to exploit this to our advantage.

The RLSH know this, but like everything else, deny this truth to instead live within their world of fantasy: Cloud, does have mental health concerns, and he needs to seek help for these. Services tailored to his specific needs can be reasonably aquired, and Cloud should be gently, firmly, and consistently directed to take advantage of these opportunities. His actions to date have been warning signs, and we all Villains, and the pathetic heroes should take this as a chance to change a life for the better. As one mentioned in another blog, Cloud is a minor player on the RLSH stage - easy to deny, his posts surreptitiously deleted. Master Legend and Tothian - the Mascots of their foolish pride, they dance in the fire of their madness. Can the RLSH hope to emerge unburnt?

Summation: Cloud gets a pass from one. He needs help, and never had the opportunity to be warned of his developing debilities in advance. Metatron and the Iron Groin? They should take Cloud's current difficulties to heart, and modify their behaviour accordingly. Their actions can be more damning to the RLSH, and an unavoidable feeding frenzy for Villainy should misfortune transpire. Within the bounds of good taste of course - none will gloat in the face of tragedy.

On to Business;

On the latest Malvado SV Blog Talk Radio Show, (Wednesday Nights, 2100MST) we were joined by the hero Captain Black. As the conversation developed an idea evolved, paraphrased as "What can Villainy do"? Do beyond what we currently do now so very well. How can Villainy evolve to do more, and can we demonstrate our ability to change the world more significantly than the heroes can?

Of course there are charity opportunities, and ways and means to donate money, and these are worthy to be sure. But they're easy, and we're smarter than that. So, a better answer to the question is needed. One has included links at the bottom of this post for your consideration. The Rice Game on the bottom right hand column is just fun, and serves a useful purpose. Villainy known equally for our unassailable intellects as well as our unequaled egos should have some fun with this, and you may use it for its learning experience.

To that end, these are some thoughts on "What can Villainy Do?"

1) We need better communication systems.

A) Group Email thread.

B) Blog Talk Radio - Let's help Malvado bring this to a new level. The potential is there to serve our purposes.

2) Villainy does not have a single leader. Arguably we're all leaders, and this can lead to inertia, but it can also be a strength. We can leverage this by working in alliances, for the duration of a given scheme. And what schemes can we concoct!

3) Troll Flakking, while necessary (and Fun!) can be a waste of energy, and this brings to light an issue of incivility in relations, which in turns retards communication to a broader audience. And one is the biggest offender! Too often, for ones own entertainment, personal attacks are made, and this in turn leads to a coursening of discourse. One must work on this. Besides one has Ghost of Nixon for henchman work, and Troll Flakking.

4) Villainy has attained a new level of active participation. On any given day, there can be remarkable posts from as many as 6 Villains, each with a delightful view of the world we share. There are no wrong views, and we've established our credentials to each other, and made clear our viewpoints. Recruitment has been a priority in the past, but now can focus on producing content. And what content there has been! Truly stellar work that would have been unimaginable 6 months ago. Can each Villain, doing just what we already do, improve the quality of our work? One cannot throw stones, living within a glass lair as one does.

5) Seeking new avenues of Evil. Digg, columns/editorials in online periodicals/blogs/websites, etc. Instead of being the voice of Tearing Down what's wrong (the RLSH) can we also be a Constructive voice of value?

6) Defining Evil and Villainy. It should be pointed out, that some have stated that if you claim to be Evil, or to call yourself a Villain, you absolutely MUST kill and eat babies, for it is the very definition of these two words. These poor deluded fools live in the anguish of their intellectual limitations (See? One is doing it again).

Good has run this world for quite some time, and if you like the way things are going, then by all means, support the status quo, and accept Real Life Super Heroes as standard bearers of your subjegation. On the other hand, if you see the world as ready and crying out for a change, then Villainy IS the answer. Those very few in power, have held the greater mass of citizens down for too long. Of course they label dissenters as Villains - they must, to further consolodate their power. There is injustice in the world, and to look at the small street crimes being committed daily, is to miss the source of it all. The system is balanced unfairly, and the good will bleat their way to the slaughterhouse, at the command of their herders. Villainy will choose another path. Arguably, WE want to be the ones in charge. Nothing wrong with a system that subjegates so many so efficiently! More Superbowl !

7) Acquiring Resources to further our own needs. Whatever world of Evil you live in, you should have the tools you need to accomplish this. Mountain of Cash, is a start, but there must be better resources. As Thomas Jefferson (a Villain in his own time - ask the ghost of King George III) stated; "He who receives ideas from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine receives light without darkening me". If you know a way to Crush the Heroes, Enslave Humanity, or Rule the Earth, ideas are welcome.

Additional Resources;

Restrict production of Opium exported to the world, and help drain funds going to terrorism;
http://pom354.org/

Donate or Volunteer. Find a Food Shelter near you;
http://feedingamerica.org/

How do charities compare?;
http://www.charitynavigator.org/

Shop and Fight Hunger;
http://www.thehungersite.com/

Best Real Life Super Hero Site Ever. Awesome, and a Victory for Villainy!
(Some of the links off this page, which may not be suitable for all ages)

As always, Lord Malignance does not support, or condone these linked pages, unless an ungodly pile of cash is quietly delivered to the Lair in unmarked, small, non sequential American Currency. That's right European Villains - one still bets on the Dollar!

-Lord Malignance
(Chocolate Overload: Easter Bunny - it was huge! And on sale...)

Friday, April 2, 2010

Holiday Chocolate Overload

Greetings and Lamentations, I AM Lord Malignance and you WILL crouch before me now! (Villains excepted, of course)

First off, to the piteous fools of heroedom who were pleading for one to come and rule your puny organizations with the merciless peril of my inescapable will: April Fools! You will have to come to terms with your disappointment. Side benefit for me: Your tears are delicious.

The Malvado Blog Talk Radio Show continues to develop and improve. This last week, the superhero Captain Black joined the conversation, as did Harbinger. Plotting, scheming, and Sinister Goings On as well as noble hopes were discussed and a thought provoking conversation ensued. What can Villains do in the struggle against the hapless heroes? A struggle where no harm is fostered to any, but challenge and pride become motivators for fun and worthy opportunities. If you have a chance, please do listen in, and dial in if you wish to, to the Malvado Sound Vandal Blogtalk Radio show on Wednesday Nights, at 2100MST. Be a participant in the development of Evil as a tool to forward our malevolent designs. More on this soon.

Instrument of Evil: Still working on the submission to the Pepsi Refresh Project for the sinister plan. The application process wants more than fill in the blank details - it wants inspiring thumbnail reads, and this is taking some time to craft to sufficiency. Racing to meet the deadline (two weeks hence) but also to get the spots before they're all taken.

A delightful and most suprising find in the world of Villainy recently. A web talent far greater than one's own, and a clear vision of a more Evil tomorrow. Please do visit, the Overlord, and be on your best most Evil behavior. Thanks to Agent Beryllium, for finding this treasure.

Poop Knife has applied his mighty intellect to the nature of the blight of heroes, and has made a shocking, yet all too obvious discovery. If you believe your mind can handle A TRUTH beyond the ability of lesser minds, please brace yourself, channel your chi into your chakras, and venture here.

The Paragon of Perilous Perfidy, the Master of Style and Intrigue, the Crimson Nematode is back in Fine Form, and delighting all with his unassailable wordcraft. What devilry will the Master of Terror, Inc unleash next?!

Please take a moment for a fictional collegue, portrayed most memorably by the late, and Still great, Frank Gorshin, a remembrance of his birthday on April 5th.

After continuously beating the heroes (as is also true in real life), Villainy in the CBS Reality Show "Survivor" may be poised to crush the heroes like insects. Our collegue Russell Hantz "the Buddha of Villainy" has made many decisive moves to demonstrate his ruthless intelligence, additionally demonstrating his Villain size ego, and masterfully has been running one scheme or another throughout the series. Villains can relate so easily to these hallmarks of our vocation.

Best wishes for a happy Easter, Passover, Pagan celebration of the Spring Equinox,

-Lord Malignance
Bring me more Chocolate Easter Bunnies, that one may devour their cute heads!!!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Lord Malignance - Reforms!

Greetings and warm thoughts of kindess to you all,

One has been pondering my many, many depraved acts of Evil recently, and thought more than once on the sheer unkindness one has visited on small brained trolls. You may think Lord Malignance has no heart, that my inescapable designs are all encompassing, and that one holds your very soul in the labrythine peril of my terrible, terrible, will. But one still has a heart. One still has feelings. If you could only know, the softer, friendlier side of Lord Malignance...

To this end, one has decided to follow in the footsteps of others, and turn over a new leaf. From now on, one will strive to do good, and will henceforth be known as "Captain Underpants", and fight crime and be nice to people. One will start patrolling the seedy underbelly of Colorado, once the pride of my domain, and begin extolling the virtues of kindness to all one meets.

Gone from the Lair is the MalignoSoundCanon (copyright Malignance, LLC) along with other exotic technologies, and various sundries used in plots to enslave mankind.

One will no longer punish henchmen and minions, instead employing a kinder, more motherly behavior, to nurture their inner children. This same benevolence will be extended to Blog Trolls, and even the poor insignificant demons who patrol blogs seeking some kind of valedation for their paltry existances.

So, this is Captain Underpants, signing off and preparing to battle crime in the name of Goodness!