Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Review of "Rise of the Planet of the Apes" - A Villain's Perspective...



Greetings and Lamentations, I AM Lord Malignance and you WILL Crouch! before me Now.
(Villains excepted of course)

One has had the happy fortune of finally getting to the theater and the opportunity to see "Rise of the Planet of the Apes (you should go if you can, though One is not being compensated for this endorsement). The movie IS very good - so good that even now, hours later, it is still in my thoughts.

As this is a Villains blog, One will give you a Villain's reaction.

The exultation of Caesar when moving in the green - all the apes, when allowed to be free and move in ways humans can't, all these things speak to a unique quality of Villains. It's also why One drives a sports car. We are meant to be free, to stretch our imaginations and exert our wills upon the world, and when we do, we feel free. Our true selves revealed and in that freedom we are alive. Oh, there might be daily responsibilities and things that we must do (One has done both "Garbage" and "Dishes"  - ah for lack of Minions), but when we can be ourselves and excel at any time, and in any circumstance (weather as Villains or not) we acknowledge our authentic selves. The parts of us that are Brilliant and Unique and Uncompromising and Free.

For the record, One has studied primates to some degree, and can tell you authoritatively, that Orangutans do not "Swing". All the Chimpanzees legs are out of proportion, Chimpanzees do not exhibit the swiftness of motion when swinging as demonstrated frequently in the movie (think Gibbons - the fourth Ape, not counting Bonobos), and the behaviors of the apes and Caesar were mostly correct, demonstrating some advanced research had been done. Also, the feet and hands varied from scene to scene and were jarringly out of proportion in some instances. The quadrapedding was also surprisingly correct (chimps move one arm between the legs and one outside). Pant Hoots were appropriate, and also chimp laughter - which is not easy to demonstrate to a human audience who want to see human expressions and appropriate sounds.

Caesar the leader demonstrated a characteristic Villains should learn, and learn sooner rather than later. Because you Can do a thing, it does not necessarily follow that you Must do a thing. We see this frequently as Caesar is presented with an opportunity to kill or hurt in revenge - and he chooses not to. He demonstrates being superior to the humans by holding to this rule, and holding others to it. He demonstrates that the apes will be superior to those who they must oppose. Simply, firmly, and with conviction. Because they are superior, and because they know how to be superior, they win. They will always win, because they have discipline. They hold to a shared standard that gives them unity and inclusive pride in their own culture. They Are smarter and they demonstrate their intelligence by being smarter. They are noble.

Oh, One can hear the screams now. "Noble" they wail, but Nobility is not exclusionary to Villainy, quite the contrary.


To be Noble is to be superior. If you aren't trying, if you are settling with being adequate, or getting by, you are accepting a place beneath others. You await your command to crouch, and you will. You will betray your bold words and posturing, by the shallow quality of your character. Do these words insult you? They should, and you should be angered. If you can feel this much, you know, YOU KNOW, that you are not meant to be "less". To be adequate. To be less than superior and to always strive ever for the opportunity to Rule.

We Are Villains. 

We are the best. Not because we say we are, we are because we are unrelenting in our pursuits of excellence. We are merciless to obstacles, and ruthless in our zeal to achieve. There have never been Villains such as we are, whoever we are, and however we came to Villainy. If you aren't a superhero in Wolf's Clothing, then you found in yourself a need to be - remarkable, and you accepted the Mantle of Villainy. You chose to call yourself a Villain, and to accept the value of that title. The obligation to uphold the worth of what that means to you. What is the value you would apply to that title? Is it to "get by", to be "a bad person"?

Is that all? Is that all you can aspire to be?

Or is it to be more?

Is it not to stride the world as a colossus and have the people quake in your footsteps?

Villains can do this, but you have to know that being small will not accomplish this objective. If you aspire to be nothing, than no matter your seeming successes, you will remain nothing. The world does not change for the least of ideas, it changes only and ever for the greatest. You must strive to be the greatest, to hold to higher ideals, to be willing to sacrifice.

-Lord Malignance

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